And then suddenly, Ninjas!
by The Sage of Toads
Summary: On the day Naruto Uzumaki was born, the Third Hokage made a decision that would one day turn the world upon its head. Twelve years after the Fourth Hokage killed the Nine-Tailed Fox, Naruto Uzumaki sets forth to become the greatest Ninja of all time!
1. The Hokage has a problem

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the last man standing. Let the battle begin.

**And then suddenly, Ninjas!**  
Ninjas are awesome

_The Third Hokage has a problem, and it's your face._

**[Some Manner of Prologue]**

Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage, had himself a problem. His successor and the current Hokage, Minato Namikaze, had died a horrible death along with his beautiful wife, leaving behind their newborn son who was now the container of the most violent and terrifying of the tailed beasts…which also just trashed half his village into dust. The dying wish of his student's student had been to treat Naruto like a hero, but Sarutobi was a bit of a realist, he knew that if Naruto was going to grow up alone and parentless he was going to suffer quite a bit before coming to his own as a Ninja–especially since he was the Fox's container. Sarutobi had nothing but respect for Minato, even more after tonight, and to see that fate befall his son didn't set well with him.

Staring down at the wailing boy lying in the basket beneath his parents' cooling corpses, Sarutobi realized that he had to make a call that would most likely doom him, Konoha, and the entirety of the Elemental Countries. He looked back to the two ninja who came with him and cleared his throat. "Well! It looks like the Nine-Tailed Fox is dead."

The two ninja stared at the former Hokage. "Sir, it's not dead, the Fourth sealed it into his son."

"No…" Sarutobi said. "…The fox is dead."

"How can it be dead? We saw it get pulled into the boy! In fact, you made quite a big deal about it." The ninja who had previously spoken argued. The second ninja immediately saw the look on Sarutobi's face and decided to offer no comment. He could see where this was going.

"No. The fox is _dead_. The Fourth _killed it_. That is all." Sarutobi's emphasis should have been enough, but the cannon fodder couldn't, and wouldn't keep his mouth shut.

"Sarutobi-sama, I understand you're getting old, but now's not the time to go senile! We have to tell the council that-." The insistent ninja became a pincushion for a dozen kunai before Sarutobi smashed Enma through his skull. That done, he set the corpse on fire.

The second ninja stared down at the burning body, and then looked over to Sarutobi. Looking back down at the body, he cleared his throat. "Well! It looks like the Nine-Tailed Fox is dead."

"Quite." Sarutobi said. "What a tragedy that we had to lose the Hokage and his wife."

"And that guy…" The second ninja said.

"Yes, they were the last victims of the Fox."

"Indeed, Sarutobi-sama."

Well, that took care of that problem. Now to somehow fool the rest of Konoha into thinking that the Fox was dead and not sealed into this boy, whom he could very well not reveal the identity of for fear of reprisal from everyone who hated and slash or feared the late Hokage. Since he and this guy were the only witnesses (though Sarutobi would soon rectify that) the fox's fate was tightly sealed up.

His only real troubles were the Uchiha and the Hyuga, who'd literally be able to see through the lie after one look at the boy. He needed to get them on his side, perhaps restoring a bit of the Uchiha's former glory would change that in exchange for their silence and assistance. The Hyuga, well…perhaps marrying the boy off to that daughter Hiashi was expecting would win them that silence. Yes…that'd work out just fine.

Picking up the basket, Sarutobi looked at the crying boy and smiled. "Naruto, you're going to be a fine man one day, I'll see to it."

No matter how many people Sarutobi had to murder or manipulate in order to see it done.

* * *

A/N: Naruto Fans...it's your turn. Ha...haha...Hahahahaha...HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Welcome to the world of evasive storytelling, kids!


	2. Naruto Uzumaki

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the last man standing. Let the battle begin.

**And then suddenly, Ninjas!**  
The Completely Underwhelming Naruto Uzumaki

_What, do you expect him to be awesome? Silly reader…_

**[1.]**

Some people are born winners–everyone else has to work for it. That is the distinction between a genius, and everyone else. Itachi Uchiha was a genius, graduating from the Ninja Academy before most kids were done with the bed-wetting thing (Itachi himself didn't stop until after he learned the Sharingan). He became a Chunin at age ten and at thirteen joined the ANBU cannon fodder squad, serving with distinction as one who managed to not die when the situation called for an idiotic death.

Then there was his brother, Sasuke Uchiha, kind of a late bloomer by Uchiha standards, nevertheless he mastered the Great Fireball Jutsu by age eight, graduated the Academy a year ago, and according to the rumor mill was well on his way to the Rank of Chunin with the upcoming exam. His family was quite proud of him, and he was the envy of all the girls still trapped and languishing in the academy.

Speaking the ladies there was the immensely cool-headed and direct Hinata Hyuga…who wasn't merely the number one girl; she was the top of the class, period. Like Sasuke she was a late bloomer in her highly influential and powerful clan and it was her first year and she was well on her way to graduating on her first go. Also like Sasuke, she was following behind another family genius, the equally cool and serious Neji Hyuga, who either had a chip on his shoulder or a broom up his ass according to those who had to suffer going to school with him. No one really knew why, being a genius he was prudent to not whine about his life story.

These were the people who learned everything with little difficulty, never had to train too hard, and generally coasted through their schools and succeeded at everything they attempted. They were also resented by everyone who had to actually put in the work and still failed miserably. Meet Naruto Uzumaki, he has failed the final exam two times despite having respectable marks across the board, the favor of his teachers, and being the personal ward of the Hokage himself.

"Clone Jutsu!" The bespectacled blonde commanded, resulting in a blast of smoke that left a mostly lifeless husk of a clone lying on the floor, softly pleading for death. A girl in the back of the class screamed in horror and fainted.

Sitting at his desk, Iruka-sensei stamped a paper. "Fail."

The orange outfit wearing youth, his blue eyes wide behind a pair of spectacles he wore, cried out pleadingly to Iruka. "Give me another chance, please!"

Iruka sighed. He felt truly sorry for the boy, he really did. "I've already given you three chances. Your clones look so bad they're traumatizing your classmates."

"I can get it to work, honest!" Naruto prepared to perform another jutsu. "Just let me-!"

Ino called from the back of the room. "I swear, Naruto, if you make one more clone I will loose my lunch all over the floor."

From the seat next to her, Sakura quipped in. "Give him another chance, sensei"

Ino popped Sakura in the side of the head, Sakura swiftly hit back, and the two got into it, pulling each other's hair and cracking obscenities at each other. As Iruka got up to break up the fight, Naruto let out a frustrated huff and walked back to his seat. Another failure, he was becoming increasingly annoyed by his inability to perform the most basic of jutsu.

"Iruka…" Mizuki-sensei, the other proctor overseeing the test, called over to Iruka as he held Sakura and Ino apart. "Come on, what do you say we give the kid a pass, just this once?"

Naruto brightened at that

"No, he has to create a useful clone." Iruka replied.

Naruto dimmed at that.

Ino kicked Sakura in the shin, and was punched in the face. As Iruka attempted to continue holding them apart, Naruto pulled off his glasses, and rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration. When he was younger, he had worn goggles because they were cool, but long nights of reading had led to him purchasing some proper reading glasses to better decipher the chicken scratch the Hokage was prone to write in his scrolls. A compliment from Sakura about how he looked in them kept them on his head, while the goggles were handed down to the Hokage's grandson, Konohamaru–they looked better on him anyway.

Next to Naruto, Hinata regarded him with a mixture of pity and respect. Naruto was dedicated and always striving to succeed, easily the hardest working student in the class…so it always brought her a hint of sadness to see him fail these tests. "Naruto-san, would you like if we got ramen after this?"

Hearing the offer, Naruto looked to Hinata and cheered up a little. "Are you paying?"

"Yes." Hinata replied. That cheered Naruto up, Hinata was always so calm and tranquil, and it made her his favorite studying partner–well, after Sakura but Sakura was Sakura and that entailed being amazing. Speaking of, she managed to lay out Ino with a haymaker.

"Don't start what you can't finish, you sow!" Sakura boasted.

"Boom…" Ino threw a book at Sakura's forehead. "…Forehead shot."

Iruka sighed as Sakura crumpled to the ground.

* * *

At Ichiraku Ramen later that day, Naruto sighed as he slurped up the top quality ramen served to him by Ayame and her father. Next to him, Hinata was equally loud in her consumption, before she set down her bowl and turned to Naruto. "Don't let your failure discourage you, Naruto-san. You can always take the test next time."

"I thought I was ready this time." Naruto said through a mouthful of noodles.

"Frankly, you weren't. Your clones are pretty terrible." Hearing Hinata blunt as she was, Ayame wondered if she understood the concept of tact. Naruto took it firmly in stride however, and Ayame chose not to speak up.

"I know they are!" He ran his fingers through his shaggy blonde hair, before resting his elbows on the counter. "How am I supposed to become Hokage, if I can't become a Genin?"

"You could always kill the Hokage. I believe that is a legitimate way to take the position." Hinata received a flat look from Naruto. "Right…you don't want to cramp on Konohamaru's style."

Frankly, the prospect of trying to kill The Professor for his spot was about the same as calling Sakura fat to her face and then slapping her backside "to watch it jiggle". Naruto would much rather take the position without a fight from the old man. "I know one thing, there's no way I'm giving up."

Hinata gave a small smile that she quickly covered with a paper fan bearing the Konoha Symbol. "We'll figure it all out one way or another. You'll definitely pass next time."

Pounding fist into palm, Naruto grinned. He leaped from his stool and called up to the heavens. "You bet! Just you watch, I, Naruto Uzumaki will be the greatest Hokage Konoha has ever seen, period! You're going to have to knock down the entire face of the Hokage Wall and use every pebble to build a statue of me!"

The people on the street around the ramen stand paid no mind to Naruto's boast, or so it seemed until a voice called out. "Yo! You, with the blonde hair! Shut the Hell up!"

Naruto blinked, and then sat back down, grumbling. "Every time…"

Hinata opened the fan to hide her face again, and then noticed the arrival of Mizuki. "Good evening, Mizuki-sensei."

Mizuki smiled to the two students before he sat down with them. "Hello, Naruto, I'm sorry about your test."

As Mizuki spoke, Naruto drained the bowl of broth before setting it down. "Don't worry, Mizuki-sensei. I'll just take the test next time and pass for sure! Fourth time's the charm, right?"

Mizuki pretended to be all smiles with Naruto, but the white haired pretty-boy would like nothing more than to get rid of him forever. It was, after all, why he chose him to be the patsy for his gambit. He may have been the Hokage's ward, but he was still dumb as a brick.

"Say Naruto, I wanted to talk about the possibility of a retest." Mizuki said, causing Naruto to stop and grin.

"See? Good fortune comes to those who deserve it." Hinata said from behind her fan.

Naruto excitedly got up from his stool again. "Do you mean it Mizuki-sensei? What do I have to do to pass the test? Tell me! Tell me!"

"Well, it's an old Konoha secret and will require a lot of hard work, but if you're willing to go that extra distance. Come meet me back at the school at sundown, okay?" Mizuki asked as he ruffled up Naruto's hair.

Beaming, Naruto nodded. "I am the master of hard work, Mizuki-sensei! Just you watch I'll pass your retest!"

Mizuki wished he could punch Naruto in the mouth. "Good, have a nice rest of the day with your girlfriend."

Naruto almost reflexively responded. "Hinata's not my girlfriend."

Hinata held her fan up a little higher to hide the blush on her cheeks.

* * *

Lying in his bed, tired from a long day's work, Iruka was mulling over his decision to fail Naruto again. He was a good kid, he really was, but giving the kid a shortcut was just out of the question. Even Rock Lee could manage a single proper Clone, the bare minimum to pass, if Naruto got that pass people would only resent him for using his status as the Hokage's ward. Being a ninja was not about cutting corners, even if it was one minor detail.

"Miss one little thing, and it could be disastrous." Iruka lamented. Kind of like the Hokage failing to mention that the seal that held the Kyuubi in Kushina Namikaze would be weakest during childbirth. Maybe if they had been prepared for that possibility…

A knock at the door interrupted Iruka's descent into angst, and he got up to head to the door. Waiting outside was Mizuki, who looked ready to have an episode. "Mizuki, what is it?"

"It's Naruto! He stole a scroll full of forbidden techniques and he ran off with it!" Mizuki cried out.

Iruka stared. "What."

Bits of rolled up tissue sticking out of his nose, Sarutobi tried his best to maintain a semblance of dignity. However, after falling victim to _that_ jutsu, he was hard pressed to shore up any. He looked around the group of gathered ninja, who seemed more surprised and amused than anything else. One shinobi raised his hand. "He hit you with _that_ one, huh?"

"Not even the Hokage can withstand _that_ jutsu." Another said from behind the book he was reading. "I've heard the stories…I think it'd even work on me, too."

A paradoxically large ninja then spoke. "Do you think he could've gone far, Hokage-sama?"

Sarutobi answered. "In all likelihood, he stole the scroll to learn a technique he could pass the exam with. However, there are many forbidden skills within the scroll and in the wrong hands they could be deadly. Find Naruto, and ensure that he is safe above all else."

"Yes, Hokage-sama!" The group of ninja called out before they vanished in formation, and dashed off across the rooftops. Sarutobi smirked; sometimes it was just cool to be Hokage.

In the woods, Naruto rubbed the bridge of his nose before replacing his glasses. It had taken him a few tries, but he had mastered a really impressive technique, the Shadow Clone Jutsu! He quickly performed the seals and then stance, and in a puff of smoke created his own clone. Both he and his clone stared at each other, before grinning.

"I'm going to pass the exam! YES!" Both shouted together as they high-fived. "This is better than some dinky Clone Jutsu, am I right?"

"You're darn right, you're right!" Naruto's clone replied as they high-fived again. Naruto quickly struck a pose.

"First, I become a Genin!" He declared before he pointed to his clone, who also posed.

"Then, Chunin!" The clone popped and locked before pointing back to Naruto.

"Before they know it, I'll be a freaking Jonin!" He and his clone began trading blows, before he struck a fatal blow to the clone's neck, exploding it in a cloud of smoke. The ambient light gleaming off his glasses, Naruto grinned as the smoke cleared. "Then nothing's stopping me from becoming Hokage!"

When the smoke cleared fully behind him, Iruka was there. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

His powerful roar knocked Naruto for a loop, and sent him spilling onto the ground before scrambling up to stare at his furious sensei. "I-Iruka-sensei, I see that you've found me…just in time, too! I'm ready to pass the final exam once and for all!"

Iruka folded his arms, and sighed. "This was really it was about, huh? You'll do anything to pass the exam won't you?"

"Not anything, I know how you react to that jutsu, after all…" Naruto looked off as he responded, and Iruka whacked him on the head. "Ow!"

"You cheeky little…" He stopped, and then looked at the scroll. "So you only tried the Shadow Clone, huh? How'd you know it was here?"

"Oh, Mizuki told me about it…" Naruto replied, almost instantly he was shoved to the ground. Looking up, he saw scores of kunai whipping through the air and into Iruka, who managed to block them from hitting his vitals. "Iruka-sensei!"

Turning around, he looked up to the source of his attacker. Sure enough there was Mizuki, standing at the base of a tree with a smug look on his face. "Mizuki-sensei, what are you doing here…?"

"Why else, I came for the scroll." Mizuki said as he tossed a kunai to himself.

"Naruto…that scroll is dangerous! Mizuki used you so he could get his hands on it!" Iruka called out.

Mizuki glanced over to Iruka. "The little pampered brat fell for it too." He looked back to Naruto. "For someone who lives in the Hokage's home, you seem to know very little about all the hidden secrets it has. I'm glad I went through the trouble of scoping the place out before using you, rather than expecting you to know where anything was."

Walking towards Naruto, Mizuki held his hand out. "Hand over the scroll, Naruto and maybe I won't kill Iruka."

"No way, I won't let you have it!" Naruto said as Iruka got up. "I'd never let you take something that belongs to the old man!"

Lowering his hand, Mizuki let out a laugh. "Defiant. You'd be singing a different tune if you knew the wool the Hokage was pulling over your eyes."

Naruto paused, and stared at Mizuki, Iruka too. "What wool?"

"What are you talking about, Mizuki?" Iruka demanded.

Mizuki grinned. "Iruka, you definitely should hear this too."

Naruto took a step back from Mizuki, to better cover Iruka, and prepared to use his Shadow Clone Jutsu. Mizuki spoke. "Twelve years ago, the Nine-Tailed Fox nearly destroyed Konoha, and the Fourth killed it."

"Everyone knows that!" Naruto growled as he performed the hand seals for the Shadow Clone Jutsu. Mizuki interrupted him before he could finish them.

"It was a lie!" Mizuki reached for the large shuriken on his back. "The Nine-Tailed Fox didn't die that night, you see-!"

All the air in Mizuki's lungs left in an instant, driven from his lungs by a positively demolishing clothesline from Asuma Sarutobi, who seemed to appear out of thin air. Gagging for air, Mizuki turned his wide eyes to Asuma, who spoke quietly and calmly despite the cigarette held in his mouth.

"The only reason you're not dead, Mizuki, is because the Hokage would like to know where you learned that little bit of information."

"Big Bro!" Naruto shouted excitedly, before something off to the side caught his attention, the last thing he and Iruka saw were red, piercing eyes before both fell unconscious. Unceremoniously, Asuma dropped Mizuki to the ground and took a drag from his cigarette.

"Well…isn't this a mess." He said aloud to the shadows, and the owners of those red eyes emerged.

"The Interrogation and Torture Division's going to have an enlightening night, brief as it may be." Fugaku Uchiha spoke coolly to Asuma. He looked from Mizuki to the unconscious Naruto and Iruka.

Asuma looked over to them as well. "What do we do with them? If they have even a single clue…"

"Their memories can be handled." Fugaku replied before he turned to Asuma. "Excellent use of restraint, by the way, I was certain you would've killed him."

"We can't kill him yet." Asuma said as he reached down to pick Mizuki up.

Far away, Sarutobi let the smoke drift from his pipe as he grimly watched Asuma and Fugaku's exchange.

* * *

The next day at the Academy, Naruto still couldn't believe what had happened. Mizuki had tried to steal the scroll, and he had hurt Iruka pretty badly too. If it hadn't been for Asuma, he would've probably gotten away. Ha, yeah right, if Asuma hadn't shown up Naruto would've spawned like a thousand clones and beat the crap out of Mizuki until he couldn't move! It would have been awesome. Speaking of…

"Naruto." Sarutobi said from the front of the class. Next to him, a bandaged up Iruka was all smiles as he waited for the young man to come down. "As requested by Iruka, in light of last night, how about we give you that retest? If you can create a single clone, you will be recognized as a Genin."

Next to him, Hinata held up her fan and aloofly assured him. "You can do it, Naruto-san."

Getting up, Naruto headed down to the front of the class and adjusted his glasses before performing the hand seals. This was it, Genin was good as his, and by the end of the year, maybe a year and a half he was going to be Hokage! He could barely contain himself.

"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

There was an explosion of smoke, and then screams as the entire classroom became filled with a mosh pit of Naruto clones. Amidst the sea of orange and blonde squirming and struggling for space, the original Naruto stuck his head up and gasped for breath as he looked to Iruka and the Hokage.

"So, did I pass?" He asked.

He was promptly hit in the face with a thrown forehead protector.

* * *

A/N: I have nothing witty to put here. Please feel free to review ravenously.


	3. Team Seven

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the last man standing. Let the battle begin.

**And then suddenly, Ninjas!**  
Team Seven, bitches

_Kakashi gets his shit owned_

**[2.]**

Danzo was one person Sarutobi wish he could kill and get away with, but knowing his counterpart even attempting it would be more trouble than it was worth. First he had to get rid of Danzo's body, and then he had to get rid of all the bodies of the some two dozen ROOT ninja that were always within striking distance to defend him at any given moment. Yes, even right now in Sarutobi's office. The new guy with the fish on his head pretending to be a lamp needed work.

He needed an excuse for any murder, though, and the old guy was good at not giving him one. Currently, he was yammering about Akatsuki and their bullshit, running around the Elemental Countries and stealing work from the villages. Sarutobi actually found that aspect of Akatsuki alright, a Ninja Village without borders, made up of members from all the different villages. That was pretty much the only idea from them he liked.

As Danzo kept prattling on about the possible whereabouts to Konoha's contribution to the criminal organization, Sarutobi marveled at how completely inept ROOT was. Their information had to be at least a week out of date. Jiraiya was running rings around these guys, being at most a day behind his quarry while losing the guys who were trailing him at the same time.

He wondered how Naruto was doing, he was going to get a Jonin instructor tomorrow, and had specifically assigned Kakashi to that duty. He really couldn't think of a better choice. Plus, being a student of the Fourth he had nothing but Naruto's best interests at heart, which was the most important thing. Only problem was that a certain student graduated a year earlier than expected, leaving the team Naruto was to be on short a student.

Danzo was finally wrapping things up. "…And that is my report on the whereabouts on Akatsuki and Oro-."

"Yes, thank you Danzo." Sarutobi cleared his throat as he spoke. The other old man narrowed his eyes at the Hokage for brushing him off. It would seem his intelligence was out of date again and Sarutobi was just humoring him. Heads were to roll.

"Sarutobi, you appear to be distracted. Is everything alright?" Danzo asked.

"At the moment, but it is nothing of dire importance. I have an uneven number of graduates this year, so I need to fill a team spot." Sarutobi replied as he looked from his sheets to Danzo. He knew that Danzo was going to leap at this opportunity, and that in itself was an opportunity for him.

He did not disappoint. "If you need to fill in a spot, I have a young trainee who has become unviable to ROOT."

Translation: I want to insert an operative into your team, knowing full well that the blonde-haired orphan boy that you have such a strangely vested interest in is on it. Sarutobi liked that Danzo was so easy to read. "Unviable, how is that so?"

"Things happened." Danzo simply responded. Sarutobi soured a little. Well of course things happened, they always happen, that's what things do. He suppressed again his urge to kill Danzo, knowing that this presented an opportunity to forge an excuse.

Pretending to weigh this in his mind, Sarutobi nodded. "Very well, I shall assign him to Team Seven. What is his name?"

"Sai." Danzo answered.

"I see, thank you Danzo. You make the arrangements on your end and I'll make mine." Sarutobi wanted Danzo to leave now, and take his Ninja with him, the office was beginning to feel a little crowded. Nodding, Danzo turned and left the office, a smirk forming on the shady old man's lips as he departed. If Sarutobi thought that he was going to use his mole against him, he had another thing coming.

* * *

A cup of instant ramen in hand, Naruto walked along the river that ran through Konoha, eagerly slurping up his breakfast. Today he was going to meet his new sensei and he wanted to get off on the right foot. To that end, he had gotten up early, done some moderate fitness to keep limber, and even studied some of the basics to prepare for whatever his new teacher had to throw at him. Given what he had found peeking at the old man's books, he was going to need every advantage.

"Of all the teachers, why did the old man assign me to him? Is this another one of his crazy tests to prove myself?" He mused aloud. It wasn't all bad, though, he was on the same team as Sakura! This was going to be awesome. Then, without warning, someone bumped into him, knocking his cup of ramen from his hands. In a mad dash to catch it, Naruto fell short…but the ramen was saved from spillage nevertheless.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that." Naruto stopped and looked up at the Genin who bumped into him. Blue shirt, boring khaki shorts, an aloof, holier-than-thou look? It could only be the one, the only, Sasuke Uchiha. "Oh, you're the Hokage's kid, Naruto."

He handed his ramen back to Naruto, who grinned. "Yeah, and you're the overachiever from last year, Sasuke."

"I don't like to brag, but yes." Actually, he loved to brag but when compared to Itachi it was hard to. Sasuke noticed that Naruto was wearing a forehead protector. "Huh, so it's true, the Three-Time Failure is now a Genin. Congratulations."

Naruto preened. "You've been hearing about me, huh?"

Sasuke chuckled. "I'll be honest when I say your story's pretty interesting. I figure someone like you wouldn't have a problem becoming a Genin. The Hokage isn't training you personally?"

Scoffing, Naruto fished around in his ramen cup for more noodles. "Nah, the Hokage doesn't do that preferential training crap. Big Bro didn't get any training from him and he's awesome, I don't need a handicap like that to be an awesome Ninja."

That Sasuke found respectable. "I heard that you passed the final exam using a cool technique, mind if I see it?"

Naruto made a smug face. "Nah, you'd just copy it with your Sharingan."

Sasuke acquiesced. "So you _saw_ right through me."

Just like that, Naruto felt the urge to punch Sasuke. He shrugged it off, just as a pair of arms wrapped around Sasuke's waist. The girl they were connected to brought Sasuke down with an exuberant squeal of his name. Blinking, he looked down at the stunned Sasuke and Sakura cuddling his back with a smile on her face.

"Sasuke, you got careless." She taunted as she nuzzled his back. "Are you ready to give up?"

In a puff of smoke, Sakura was holding a log, while the real Sasuke stepped from behind Naruto. Naruto waved to her. "Hey Sakura-chan."

Sasuke looked to Naruto. "You know her?"

"She's my classmate, and gonna be on my team." Naruto said as Sakura got up. He was no stranger to her crush on Sasuke, and he kind of envied Sasuke for all the attention he received from her.

Dusting herself off, Sakura offered her fist, which Naruto bumped with his own. "Hey Naruto, I was actually looking for you. Did you see the teacher we were going to get?"

"Yeah, it's Kakashi." Naruto said.

Sasuke's brows rose at that. "Wow, I feel sorry for you guys."

"What?" Sakura looked to Sasuke. "Why?"

"He fails every team he gets and sends them back to the academy." Sasuke revealed. "Itachi would've been a Genin at six but Kakashi failed him pretty ruthlessly."

Sakura gaped. "He failed Itachi?"

"Without a second thought, he did." Sasuke nodded grimly.

She turned to Naruto. "We're doomed."

"Like Hell we are, it took me three tries to get this far. I'm not going to just roll over and fail because of some stuck-up teacher." Naruto declared.

Sasuke smiled at the two graduates, before he checked his watch. Speaking of stuck-up teachers, his was waiting for him. "Aoi-sensei waits for no one, so I have to get going."

Before he could turn and walk off, Sakura grabbed his arm and hugged it as she smiled appealingly to him. "Ne, ne…Sasuke if you're not doing anything later today, would you like to go on a date?"

Sasuke gave Sakura a charming smile. "No."

Slipping free of Sakura, he walked away, waving back to them as he departed. "I wish you nothing but the best of luck with Kakashi, see you around."

He disappeared after that, leaving a wrecked Sakura just gaping at where he had been standing. Naruto couldn't help but let out a whistle at how nonchalantly she had been shot down and left to languish out in the cold like that. On the other hand…it was rebound time!

"Wow, Sakura…that was pretty harsh." He said to her. "What an asshole."

Sakura nodded. "Yes, but still…I won't let this get me down. I'll win his heart if it's the last thing I do!"

He patted Sakura on the back, and then rubbed it–so much for the rebound. "There, there, Sakura-chan…there's always next time."

Sakura looked to Naruto and smiled. "You never gave up graduating; I'll never give up on Sasuke!"

Naruto wished she would. Together, the two took to the rooftops for the Academy. "Ne, Naruto…did you see anything on the Hokage's notes about us getting a third man in our team? All the other kids have been put on teams…"

"Well, the third spot belongs to some guy named Sai." Naruto replied as he recalled raiding the Hokage's office following the Old Man's meeting with Danzo. "I don't know much more than that."

Sakura frowned. "Sai…I hope he's at least cute."

Naruto adjusted his glasses mid-leap and looked to Sakura. "Don't you think you have enough eye candy, Sakura-chan?"

"I can never have enough!" Sakura called out. Laughing, the two reached the Academy and the classroom they were to meet Kakashi. Inside, they found their third man, an unbearably pale boy dressed as what Sakura would describe as a "Ho" drawing in a book. Their sensei was nowhere to be seen. Naruto and Sakura looked to each other, and then back to the boy–he was looking at them with an unnerving, artificial smile.

"Hello, you must be the teammates I've been expecting. I was told to look for a useless nerd with glasses and a hyperactive girl who wasn't that cute." He said to them both. "I'm Sai."

An hour later when Kakashi Hatake arrived, fifty minutes late, he found the classroom in ruins and a banged up Naruto holding an enraged Sakura back from trying to get at a visibly terrified Sai. He regarded the scene with surprise, and continued to stare until one by one, Sai, Naruto, and then Sakura finally noticed him.

"Right now," He said to him, "I am ready to fail you all where you stand. However, since my being on time could've avoided this, I'll give you one more chance, okay?"

"Thank you sensei!" All three children replied, bowing deeply and politely to Kakashi. He sighed; already they were off to an interesting start.

* * *

"Okay, I suppose we should start with some introductions. The basics, like your likes and dislikes, hopes for the future, and things like that." Kakashi said to his assembled team atop a nearby rooftop. Naruto was seated between Sakura and Sai, the former passing threatening looks to the latter, who was visibly shaken by them. While Naruto served as a barrier for Sai, he didn't really have sympathy for the guy–you do not make Sakura Haruno angry, you will not like Sakura Haruno when she is angry.

"If we're going to be a team, we should be able to understand each other." He went on, and successfully won the attention of his students. "Which of you would like to go first?"

Naruto raised his hand, and when indicated by Kakashi he introduced himself. "My name's Naruto Uzumaki, I like ramen either instant or restaurant made and I don't like waiting for it to cook; my dream is to be the greatest Hokage who ever lived!"

Sai looked over to Naruto. "You like ramen a lot. Is that why you're so _stringy_?"

Naruto barely overcame the urge to punch Sai. Odd, it was just like with Sasuke…

"That's quite a dream; I hope you have the ambition to back it up." He looked to Sai. "What about you?"

"My name is Sai," The boy said with an unsettling smile, "I draw."

"You're also a tool." Sakura grumbled.

"I don't like ugly violent girls with pink hair." Sai added, and Naruto had to hold Sakura back.

"KILL YOUR FACE!" Sakura screamed as she reached past Naruto to swing ineffectually at Sai. Kakashi sighed and waited for the eruption to blow over. It eventually did, and Sai now sat much further from Naruto and Sakura.

"My name is Sakura Haruno." Sakura introduced herself. "I like taijutsu and medicine, and I dislike creepy pale boys. My dream is to surpass Lady Tsunade, and marry an Uchiha."

Kakashi rolled his eye. "You are a typical girl, Sakura-chan."

"Just ugly." Sai added. He was swiftly decked by Sakura before Naruto could grab her.

There was no way this team was going to work, on the other hand he did have his schedule cleared for the next two days and he had to amuse himself somehow. Sighing, Kakashi introduced himself. "I'm Kakashi Hatake; I have no interest in telling you anything else."

The three Genin turned their attention back to Kakashi, whose only hint at the smile he wore was the curve of his visible eye. With that out of the way, he continued. "As you may already know–you seem like bright students who've done your homework after all–what happens next is the Survival Test. Of the twenty-seven graduates who got through the academy, only nine will become full-fledged Genin. The rest will return to the Academy for more study…if they survive their examination."

Sai raised his hand. "Yes Sai?"

"Does this mean we'll automatically fail? I have no confidence in the loud ugly girl." Naruto was able to catch Sakura this time.

"Kill…kill…kill…!"

Kakashi cleared his throat. "That stands to be seen, do you wish to voluntarily flunk the test?"

"Not at all, I could be proven wrong." Sai returned.

"Expect to be!" Naruto said as he managed to hook his arms under Sakura's and restrain her as she kicked towards Sai. "There's no way this team will fail, believe it!"

Sai smiled again. "On second thought, I'm certain that we'll succeed through nepotism."

Just for that, Naruto let Sakura go, and the beating she laid upon Sai shut him up for the rest of the day.

* * *

Kakashi's instructions were pretty concise, study the printout detailing the exercise, and don't eat breakfast. His instructions were straightforward, but in being so, they left room for interpretation. Reconvening at Ichiraku, Naruto and Sakura discussed what they knew of Kakashi (nothing other than his name and that he had a hundred percent failure rate), what they had at their disposal, and how to employ it.

What they had at their disposal was impressive and making use of it was no problem. Sakura was a social butterfly who got well enough with everyone (even Sasuke despite all her attempts to date him) so it was be easy for her to ask around about the details of Kakashi's exam–especially those who had failed it prior. Naruto meanwhile had access to the Hokage, his office, and most importantly records pertaining to Konoha Ninja. Taking the old man out with _that_ jutsu and rummaging around to get details on Kakashi was a piece of cake. Sai did nothing, because as far as either of them knew he had nothing to offer them. It was fine; Sai just spent his time sketching things.

So the next morning when Kakashi arrived late again, Naruto, Sakura, and Sai were cheerfully waiting for him. Sai did have a bruise on his face for something he had said to offend Sakura, again more evidence that their sensei needed to be on time to prevent this sort of thing. Pulling out an alarm clock, he set it down and set it to go off at exactly noon before he addressed his students.

"Good morning kids, I'm sorry I'm late." Kakashi said as he held up a pair of bells. "Today's test is simple; you have to take these bells from me by noon. Any student who fails to get a bell will be tied up to one of these convenient stumps over here and not get any lunch. On top of that, I'll eat right in front of you."

"That's very immature." Sai noted.

Sakura huffed. "I actually agree with the weirdo."

Kakashi ignored the observation. "There are only two, so one of you will definitely not eat, and for that failure you'll have to go back to the academy."

Both Naruto and Sakura looked at Sai, who remained unperturbed. Kakashi couldn't help but be a little amused; he was no stranger to ROOT himself, and was well aware of what the boy was likely capable of. "I can tell by your looks, that you're pretty confident in your abilities, so what do you say we get started?"

Naruto and Sakura got ready, but Sai shot straight from the gate, leaving a trail of dust behind him as he rushed Kakashi head-on. With a surprised hum, he swiftly leaned back from the slash of the tip-less tanto that Sai had drawn from the sheath on his back, and then sidestepped consecutive strikes from the weapon. Standing back, Naruto and Sakura watched Sai with surprise.

"He didn't even hesitate…" Sakura muttered.

Naruto looked to her. "Let's take advantage of it, come on."

Looking between Naruto and the fight, Sakura nodded and the two quietly retreated. Kakashi noticed their departure as he casually evaded another strike from Sai. "I wonder where they're going…"

Sai drove the tanto into Kakashi's stomach, and smiled up at him. "You shouldn't let your eye wander, sensei."

Kakashi then turned into a log with a single flash bomb at Sai's eye level. The flash bomb exploded, bathing Sai in a blinding light that faded quickly to reveal the young Genin clutching at his eyes in agony. Reaching down to pick him up by the back of his collar, Kakashi held a kunai to the Genin's throat.

"It's in your best interest to tell me why ROOT is suddenly interested in inserting an operative skilled as you are into a Genin team." Kakashi said to the struggling boy, who calmed and stuck out his tongue.

"I'm not allowed to say…" Sai replied before he melted away into ink. Kakashi took a step back, and then raised his hand behind his head to scratch it.

"Kids these days…" He said before he stopped scratching his head to block Sakura's kick for the back of it. "Hello, Sakura."

He turned around and quickly blocked a series of high speed strikes that looked surprisingly familiar to the Jonin: Palm strikes, knife-edge strokes, and hooked strikes that were enthusiastically aimed for his vitals. Quickly he changed up his blocking method, avoiding the fingers themselves and parrying her blows at the wrist before he shoved her backward.

"Hmm…now I'm a little curious." He said to Sakura as the stance she adopted told him enough. "Just how are you able to use that style?"

"I told you, I like taijutsu!" Sakura declared before she broke into a run and swung a kick for Kakashi that he blocked with the back of his hand, Sakura then went low with a sweep, and Kakashi hopped over her effortlessly. Landing behind her, he hummed as she got up and resumed her assault, pushing him back with the same precise strikes and granting him little quarter. It was easy to see that her style had a limit.

"I think I figured it out. Impressive that you were able to figure out Gentle Fist to the level you have. However…" He parried a strike, and then turned her around before grabbing her by the shoulder and slamming her into the ground. "Gentle Fist is a Hyuga Clan exclusive for a few reasons."

"Ow…" Sakura squirmed underneath him, trying to get free, before she finally exploded into as puff of smoke–a shadow clone? Kakashi looked up in time to see Naruto and Sakura above his head, armed with handfuls of throwing weapons they threw down on him like a rain of steel. Raising his arms above his head, he blocked the majority from hitting his head, while the rest dug into his body.

"We got him!" Sakura cheered. "Good job with your Shadow Clone and Henge, Naruto!"

Naruto grinned as the two landed. "Thank you very much, Sakura! The hard part was getting your moves down. Now let's go get those bells!"

Kakashi began to lower his hands when Naruto called to him. "I wouldn't move…you might set off the explosive tags."

Pausing, Kakashi looked at the Shurikens on his arms, and saw they indeed were wrapped with highly volatile and potent explosive tags. He looked to his grinning students. "You two are patently insane, I like that."

Before they could, another flash bomb exploded in front of them, thrown by Sai to blind them before he landed in front of Kakashi. Tanto in hand, he looked from Kakashi to the bells and reached for them.

"If I take both bells, will the other two fail?" Kakashi then dropped his arms around Sai, and smiled to the Genin. "Huh?"

"That was not a nice thing to do, betraying your teammates." Kakashi said in a friendly, yet ominous tone as he disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving the explosive tags to ignite…and then go off like harmless firecrackers. Still rubbing their eyes, Naruto and Sakura watched as the dud tags finished burning out, leaving Sai unharmed.

Naruto let out a grumble and kicked the ground. "We almost had him!"

"Way to go, Sai!" Sakura yelled at him.

Sai looked back at Naruto and Sakura, and his smile returned. "The success of the mission justifies the cost. I hope one day you'll understand."

Kakashi reappeared in the middle of the field of thrown weapons, his emotions vague as he scrutinized his team. "Is that something you honestly believe, Sai?"

"Of course," Sai replied, "You should understand that better than anyone Kakashi Hatake."

Nodding, Kakashi agreed with him. "You're right; I do understand that better than anyone. However, I am fairly confident that no matter what you do, Sai, you'll never pass this test."

Sai's smile was replaced by a quizzical look. "Oh?"

At that very instant, the kunai and shurikens went off in puffs of smoke, revealing dozens of Naruto clones that mobbed Kakashi from all sides. Caught off guard by the avalanche of orange, Kakashi hard no time to react as he was quickly buried. Triumphantly, one of the clones held above his head the bells, and then tossed them to Naruto, who quickly divvyed them up with Sakura before the clones vanished, leaving Kakashi seated on his backside.

"That was too easy, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto taunted as both he and Sakura mockingly jingled the bells. Sai stared at his teammates in surprise, before he looked back to Kakashi, who was clearly amused as he rose up to his feet.

"So…they acquired the bells." The ROOT Nin said as Kakashi walked over to the two.

Kakashi nodded. "I'm impressed; only one team was ever able to get the bells before."

"Yep, and now that we have them…" Naruto promptly dropped the bell on the ground and stepped on it, as did Sakura. Sai stared down at the ruined bells, and then looked back to Kakashi, who was genuinely surprised by the gesture.

"I don't understand…" Sai began.

"Only two of us would be able to complete the mission." Naruto said. "But we're a three man team."

"As much as I hate it, that's right." Sakura added.

Kakashi folded his arms, as Naruto continued. "In an actual mission, that would be the same as leaving a teammate to die, when we could've saved them and a Ninja who abandons his teammate…"

"…Is lower than trash!" Sakura finished.

Sai stared at Naruto and Sakura, stunned. "Lower…than trash…?"

Kakashi broke into applause, clapping his hands as he walked over to the three and displaying a smile with his sole eye. "It would appear that you two did quite a bit of homework on me, haven't you?"

"That's right." Sakura said. "We asked around among the students you failed in the past, and Naruto looked up some of your records. With that in mind, we were able to formulate the best possible strategy to pass your test."

Kakashi chuckled. "So…in the end you wasted the time and effort I put in trying to teach you a lesson by learning it on your own. I think my opinion has changed of you three."

Naruto raised his brows. "Really?"

"Yes," Kakashi said, "I think I really hate you guys. Now I actually have to train you. You pass."

"Shannaro!" Sakura exclaimed, jumping up and down and pumping her fists into the air. Naruto grinned and brought his hand to his glasses and adjusted them.

"Everything went just as planned…" He announced with a smug smile. Sakura caught him in a hug and laughed as she swung him around, ruining his effort at looking cool.

Staring at his teammates, Sai was genuinely confused.

Since when did Konoha Ninja put their comrades ahead of their mission?

* * *

A/N: That's right. Sasuke has no role in this story other than a supporting character. Enjoy your Sai and the ambiguous shipping! Leave a review!


	4. I Hate Wave Country Rehashes

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the last man standing. Let the battle begin.

**And then suddenly, Ninjas!**  
I hate Wave Country Rehashes

_Aloha from the Land of Little Logic_

**[3.]**

Face down in the dirt, Naruto looked up from where he fell and up at the tree where Zabuza Momochi, _the_ Zabuza Momochi, stood on the hilt of his ridiculously huge sword. He raised his head higher and looked to his left; Sakura and Sai were getting up and positioning themselves around the old guy who got them into this mess. When he looked to his right, Kakashi was in front of their group, ready to face off against him.

_"What the Hell is he doing here?"_ Naruto quickly got back up, as Kakashi ordered him to get back and protect the old guy. Of course, why else would he be here? After those water brothers got ruined by Sakura and Kakashi, someone stronger had to come along next.

As Zabuza and Kakashi bantered, Naruto looked back to their charge, the old bridge builder who paid for a C-Rank mission but obviously needed a B-Rank team, Tazuna. "You know, your grandkid better be grateful that we're going through all of this for you, or I am going to punch you."

Unable to take his eyes off Zabuza as he made his intentions plainly known, Tazuna grumbled back to Naruto. "I don't know if any of us will make it that far, you super brat."

God, did he have to say "Super" every time he spoke? He hated this annoying old guy! Kakashi was going for his Sharingan, shit just got real. "Look, we have to stay away from this guy. Sai, get your ink stuff ready!"

All eyes were on Zabuza again, as he performed his Concealing Mist Jutsu. Naruto immediately had a kunai out, to his left Sai was painting beasts upon his scroll, and to his right Sakura's head was on a swivel, looking out for any possible attack. Against a guy like this though, could they do anything if he did? It was only because of Kakashi they avoided his opener. Naruto was scared stupid.

"Eight choices…" Zabuza's voice coming in from all sides did not help any. "Liver, lungs, aorta, spine, jugular, brain, kidneys, heart…"

Naruto looked around again, and formed some hand seals as Zabuza continued. "Which one should I go after?"

"With a sword that super huge, do you really think you can be choosy?" Tazuna sarcastically groused. God damn it, Naruto hated him.

"Don't be scared you guys." Kakashi reassured. "I won't let my comrades die."

Then suddenly Zabuza was standing right in the middle of the group. "Yeah, about that…"

Everything happened super fast, as Kakashi suddenly emerged from the mists and drove a kunai into him, at least that's what Naruto saw when he got up from being thrown aside by the attack. The mist was too thick; he could barely see the action going on. Sakura and Sai were rushing back to Tazuna, and Kakashi was being chopped in half by Zabuza–wait, what?

"Sensei!" Naruto cried out as Kakashi vanished into a dispelling water clone. "Huh?"

Kakashi immediately got the jump on Zabuza, putting a kunai to his throat. Naruto grinned at the change of fortunes, and steeled himself. Sai and Sakura were with Tazuna, he had to get over to their side. He had just begun to move, when fortunes rapidly soured, and suddenly Kakashi was going one way while Zabuza went another. Naruto stopped halfway to the rest of the team and watched as Kakashi went into the water.

"Hah, fool…" Zabuza was laughing, this was bad. Then Kakashi was captured in the Water Prison Jutsu by the real Zabuza.

Game over, man, game over.

Zabuza created a water clone, as he boasted over Kakashi's imprisonment, Naruto couldn't really hear it.. He turned his attention to Naruto. "Wearing forehead protectors like you were real ninja. But you know what? A real ninja is someone who's survived many brushes with death."

The water clone looked towards Naruto, and he froze where he stood. The clone and Zabuza spoke together. "Only if you wind up in my Bingo Book, do you get the right to be called a ninja!"

The clone was gone, where did–getting kicked in the face hurt.

He was on his back; the kick hit him so hard it knocked forehead protector off and knocked his glasses askew. This was bad. Naruto looked over when he heard Sakura cry his name. Okay, he was still alive. He then looked up at the Zabuza clone, which was grinding its heel into the knocked off forehead protector while eyeing him up like prey ready for the slaughter, and he barely overcame the urge to wet himself.

_"I'm going to die here."_ He realized as he tried to get up. A twinge of pain in his left hand stopped him, and he stared down at the bandage covering it. Back then, against those brothers, one of them had stabbed his hand. His thoughts went to his rough interactions with Tazuna, as they left Konoha on their journey.

_"Am I really going to be safe? I feel like I'm the one babysitting him if he's the Hokage's spoiled brat ward…"_

_"Someone like you becoming Hokage, I can see it. Once the old man keels over they'll just hand it over to you, right?"_

Naruto stared at his hand, and tensed up. He wasn't going to die in front of that drunken old bastard.

_"By this blood-soaked kunai, I'll show you that I'm no pampered brat! I'm going to earn my right to be called Hokage, and you're going to call me that with respect!"_

Naruto's fear receded, pushed to the back of his mind by his determination as he rose to his feet. Reaching for his glasses, he adjusted them, before pulling them off his face and tossing them aside carelessly. Seeing this, Zabuza laughed. "So, you want to die, kid?"

Naruto suddenly rushed towards Zabuza, hugging the ground despite the pleas of Kakashi and Sakura for him to stop. The results were predictable, with the clone batting Naruto away from him with ease. However, Naruto had succeeded in his effort; he had retrieved his forehead protector from under the clone's foot.

"You overcompensating freak…" Naruto said as he held up his protector. "Write this down in your precious little book and shove it up your ugly ass."

He raised his protector to his forehead and began to tie it on. "I'm the man who will become Hokage and go down in history as the strongest ninja who ever lived. Konoha Ninja, Naruto Uzumaki…and I'm going to make you look like an utter fool, believe it!"

It was time to get dangerous, Naruto affirmed as he secured his forehead protector. "Sakura, Sai, let's run a riot all over this idiot's busted-up face!"

* * *

The battle certainly had been epic. Naruto, Sakura, and Sai had used teamwork and managed to free Kakashi, who proceeded to unleash an amazing beating on Zabuza and his dinky sword until that Hunter-nin came along and totally stole Kakashi's kill. Still, the bastard was dead and they were now staying at the home of Tazuna, who had a really hot daughter who was a confirmed MILF, given his mentioning having a grandson. That made Naruto happy, he liked MILFs. Like Sasuke's Mom, she was a Super MILF.

God damn it, he was now doing it too. He hated that old man. Tsunami was tending to Kakashi, and it was obvious to a couple of Genin like him and Sakura that she wanted to show her gratitude in sexy ways given the warm looks and the occasional blush during her and Kakashi's exchanges. Sai either missed the subtext of her behavior or had it spot on, because he referred to Tsunami as "a nice whore" before being savagely beaten by Sakura and made to sit in a corner by Tsunami, who took it a little more in stride…like she was used to it.

Eh, as a Ninja, Naruto could only respect whatever people had to do to get by, but it was still rude of Sai to just out and out say it.

"Man, I am glad that's over." Sakura said as she wiggled and flexed her toes. "This Gateau guy, he's going to be a whole lot of trouble if he hired that Zabuza guy."

Naruto stared at Sakura's feet, even her toes were cute…no! No, look away Naruto. "I don't know…if we went from those demon guys straight to Zabuza, it was probably the best he had."

"Aside from the personal army of underlings, you mean." Sakura noted.

Naruto scoffed at that notion. "Between the three of us, we're more than a match for a bunch of untrained thugs, even without Kakashi."

His Shadow Clones could number in the thousands if he so willed it, Gateau had what, a few hundred guys at best? Sakura then brought up a good point. "It'll be a week before Kakashi is up on his feet again, what if they attack during then?"

"Gateau's objective is Tazuna, so as long as we just have to protect him, we'll be fine." Naruto then noticed Sai was staring at Kakashi, who was asleep. "Hey Sai, what is it."

"His face…" Sai said. "…Has anyone seen it without the mask?"

Sakura and Naruto looked from Sai to each other, and then joined Sai in surrounding Kakashi's slumbering face. Sakura looked to the pale boy. "You ask a very good question, I don't think I've seen him without it."

Naruto reached for it, and then stopped before looking to the others. "What do you think is under there?"

"Maybe he has buck teeth." Sai mused.

"It's gotta be cleft lip or something sick-nasty like that." Sakura pointed out.

Naruto shook his head. "If it was that, then he'd sound weird when he talks. I bet he has fish lips and zits."

Tsunami leaned over them. "Or maybe he's so utterly beautiful that he must hide his face to avoid distracting his comrades."

"I like that theory." Sakura said as she reached eagerly for his mask. Kakashi then woke up, and his Genin zipped back from him in fright. "Damn, damn, damn…now it's going to bother me for the rest of the mission."

Kakashi sat up, and palmed his face. Whatever had woken him up was really bothering him given the look on his face that they could only determine through one eye. Seriously, his ability to emote despite having three-fourths of his face covered up had to be a special ability or something. Naruto was the one to ask. "What's up, Kakashi-sensei?"

"When a Hunter-nin disposes of a body, they generally do it right on the spot." Kakashi said before he looked to his students. Naruto was already turning this over in his head, and the realization was hitting him, while Sai showed no reaction. Sakura was a little slower on the uptake.

"So?" Sakura asked. "The Hunter-nin just took the body away, it's not a…oh damn."

It came together in her head right then and there and she let out a groan. "Well of course the Hunter-nin would be on Zabuza's side! She just left with the body like that!"

Kakashi looked to Sakura. "Oh?"

"I aspire to be a med-nin, and I know a thing or two about the human body. That Hunter-nin used the senbon to incapacitate Zabuza and make us think he was dead, I thought it was weird, if she really wanted him dead…"

"There were tons more effective and simpler ways to kill him." Naruto finished. "We've been had!"

Sai could've told them that, but no one asked, plus he was feeling a little vindictive towards Sakura, who folded her arms. "Well this is just great, Zabuza is alive and he'll be coming after us when he gets back on his feet."

On hearing that Tazuna let out a great shout and shook his head. "You can't be serious! Now we're in super trouble, a guy like him is not going to stop for anything!"

"Except maybe a better deal…" Naruto mumbled.

"Even if Zabuza was dead, that'd means that Gateau might be driven to hire more powerful help. We should be thankful he's alive." Kakashi explained to Tazuna. "It's one less unknown we have to worry about. In the meantime, we should be ready for him when he shows up. Naruto, Sakura, Sai…I'm stepping up your training."

"So to like what, are you going to teach us Water Walking?" Naruto asked. They had already covered Chakra Control basics after passing their test with Kakashi, and could already walk up and down vertical and inverted surfaces pretty well.

Kakashi nodded. "Precisely, being able to walk on water could be an important advantage coming in against Zabuza and the better you can control all of that chakra you have, Naruto, the better."

Sai gave Naruto a look at that, as the boy grinned. "You're actually excited about the prospect of fighting Zabuza again, aren't you?"

"Kind of!" Naruto replied. "Learning some new tricks, fighting against a really strong guy, and bringing a corrupt industry to its knees at the will of the people…it's going to be awesome!"

"Hell yeah, comrade!" Sakura cheered as she and Naruto shared a fist bump. Almost on cue, a very small, bitter voice cut through the anticipation and excitement.

"You're all going to die." Everyone looked towards the person who spoke, and found it was a little boy probably no more than seven or eight in dark overalls and a stupid hat.

Naruto blinked. "Uh…what?"

Sai stared at the child, and then to Sakura. "This must be Tsunami's bastard."

"Do you even think about what you say?" Sakura asked after punching Sai in the head.

"Excuse him," Naruto said to the boy, "He doesn't have a filter, or tact, or anything resembling social skills. I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and this is Sakura and that's Sai!"

When the boy didn't reply, Tazuna introduced him properly. "This is my grandson, Inari." He then turned to Inari. "Inari these are the Ninja who helped protect me."

Naruto nodded and he spun up to his feet before bringing his fingers up to the sides of his glasses and smartly adjusting them. "…And we're the same Ninja that are going to crush Gateau into the dirt, believe it!"

Inari looked up at Naruto. "There's no way you can win against Gateau. You're all going to die if you stay here, so you may as well leave and save yourselves."

Awkward silence fell as Inari turned and walked out of the room, after mumbling something about going to look at the ocean. Naruto dropped his hand to one side, and then looked to Tazuna and Tsunami, pleading for an explanation, exposition, anything. Tazuna looked to Tsunami, who closed her eyes and nodded consent before he explained.

"You see…there was a man named Kaiza who became part of our family, he was a great man whom the entire village looked up to as a hero and leader. Thanks to him, Inari had a Father, and the town we live in avoided being washed away in a terrible flood. He was a dreamer and a kind-hearted spirit–truly he was a super guy." Tazuna explained.

Sai then spoke. "And then Gateau killed him and broke your spirits."

Everyone looked at Sai, who elaborated. "Well, he's not here, therefore one can assume…"

"You know what, kid? You are a super asshole." Tazuna said to Sai, as his callous observation made Tsunami weepy.

Naruto snorted. "So, Gateau kills this guy and everyone lost their courage to stand up to him?"

"Yes…Wave Country doesn't believe in courage anymore. The only hope we have is the bridge, and even then people don't believe it can happen." Tazuna went on.

"Understandable. Gateau could just blow up the bridge when you're done. Or he can blow it up now, or at any time really…" Sai observed.

Sakura nodded. "He's right you know."

"He could do all that, but he won't." Naruto declared. "Alright Kakashi, let's get started with this training of yours! I'm going to show that little crybaby, this whole village full of crybabies, that heroes always come back!"

Sakura jumped up to her feet. "Shannaro! I'm with you two hundred percent, Naruto!"

Sai got up as well, his smile present. "Your energy is infectious."

Outside the room, out of sight, Inari sniffled as he heard Naruto's boast. How utterly futile, is this how ninja were?

* * *

Six days later, Naruto was asleep at the edge of the pond that had been the site of their water-walking practice. It was a good choice because not only was it a nice secluded spot, there were plenty of helpful and edible plants identified by Sakura that they could make use off as they trained away from Tazuna's house–especially some medicinal plants for the injuries accrued over the course of their training.

Sai seemed to have already had experience with water-walking, so he served mainly as a tutor doing what Kakashi could not. Sakura, however, had mastered water walking by the third day of training, and Naruto had been out here on his own, living off the land and sticking to a vigorous training regimen to build up his chakra control. So far, it was beginning to show results.

He however was not alone, dressed in a pink kimono and a basket on his arm, the androgynous and effeminate Haku was drawn to that very area, in search of medicinal herbs for the sake of getting Zabuza back to a hundred percent. He did not expect to find one of the ninja guarding Tazuna just lying out in the middle of the woods, perfectly vulnerable.

_"Odd…he's just out here, is he lost? No, his state…he must be training."_ Haku mused as he knelt down next to where Naruto lay. A somewhat bitter thought flashed through his mind. _"He was the one who cut Zabuza's face."_

He could break his neck right here; it'd make Zabuza dealing with Kakashi easier later on, and meant taking care of Gateau when the Tazuna job was over even easier. With that in mind, he reached for his neck. _"A clean, smooth break, he won't even feel it."_

On second thought, there was no need for it, besides maybe he wasn't alone? It would be better to just come off as a friendly civilian and…wait.

"You shouldn't sneak up on a sleeping ninja." Someone said as he held a kunai to Haku's throat. Haku froze, and then slowly held up his hands.

"I'm sorry; I was just going to wake..." He looked back and saw that it was Naruto standing behind him with the weapon to his neck. He looked back down at the sleeping boy, a clone standing watch, could he chance it? "…Him up…"

The clone, hearing that, lowered the kunai. "Well…in that case you should just get out of here-."

A senbon drove through the clone's heart, and it had just begun to dispel when two more of the needles plunged into the sleeping Naruto's heart, causing him to gasp out, before he expired.

Haku removed the needles swiftly and rose to his feet. Well that went well, though he really hadn't wanted to kill him. "I'm sorry; I was merely doing my duty."

"I understand." Naruto's voice called from above Haku's head. "We're all ninja here, aren't we?"

The last thing Haku saw was an avalanche of orange as the sleeping Naruto he killed turned into a log.

Back at Tazuna's house a half hour later, Naruto was all grins as he presented his immobilized and secured bounty. He had even been gagged to prevent biting off his own tongue. Standing over him, Kakashi examined the senbon that Naruto had frisked off the boy's body, among other tools and concealed weapons. For his merit, Haku was glaring pretty rigidly at Team Seven.

"I have to hand it to you, Naruto that was pretty crafty." Kakashi replied. "Coming across Zabuza's partner was pure luck, capturing him on your own was something else entirely."

Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "Eh, I thought he was just some local girl at first, but then he actually tried to kill me so I acted–didn't think he was that Hunter-nin until I saw the needles he used."

"Wait, that's a guy?" Sakura asked as he stared at the roughed up but otherwise unblemished Haku's face. He was cuter than she was, not that she'd admit it.

Naruto nodded, and then made a palm-up hand gesture like he was fondling something. "Found that out while I was frisking him, you know?"

Blushing, Haku looked away. His hands had been so rough, and yet so…

Sakura bit her lower lip, and some blood threatened to trickle from her nose. "How thoroughly did you search?"

Naruto grew smug. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I would." Sai said. "Also I would like to see proof that he is a boy, no one that pretty can have a penis."

He looked to Sakura. Naruto rolled his eyes and got ready, here it comes… "On the other hand, someone that ugly can have a vagina, so I guess it is possible."

Naruto actually had to brace himself after Sakura collided with him, in an effort to keep Sai alive. She eschewed words for violent growls and other sounds of aggression as she frothed voluminously at the mouth. The sight of Sakura in this state actually frightened Haku, and he whimpered in complete terror of the savage girl.

"So we caught his little assistant, what happens next?" Tazuna asked.

"Well, a guy like him is a Jonin from Mist; he's not going to care if we use him as a hostage." Kakashi replied. "Furthermore, our job wasn't to apprehend these ninja, but protect you and the bridge."

At that, Haku perked up and stared at the team. Kakashi stroked his chin, and then hummed as he had an idea. "I think we can solve a lot of our problems all at once, even Zabuza's."

Naruto, Sakura, and Sai stared at Kakashi. "Zabuza's problem?"

"Yes." Kakashi replied. "After all, Zabuza's no villain…he's a Ninja just like us doing his job, and he's got his own agenda."

Sai looked between Kakashi and their prisoner, and took quiet note of it. What were these Ninja up to? Naruto quickly saw what was coming, and smiled to Sakura, who returned the smile. Whatever Kakashi's plan was, it was going to be awesome! As Kakashi sat down and began to draw up his plan with the rest of the household, Inari quietly listened from the hallway.

"…It's useless…you guys can't win against Gateau…" He whispered as he thought of his Father.

* * *

Two days later, Team Seven and Tazuna departed for the bridge under a bit of a cloud. The night before last, Inari had run away from home without any warning. A spirited search from the team turned up nothing, and everyone expected the worst. Gateau's men had likely kidnapped him, or his frustration with Team Seven's boundless optimism pushed him into just leaving and going into town. Nevertheless, they left as scheduled and hoped that by the end of the day, Inari would be home and with his family. Present with them, still bound and gagged, was Haku–who actually was onboard for the plan but understood the necessity of maintaining appearances, he was a ninja after all.

When they arrived at the bridge, they were met by a thick mist and the shadowy figure of Zabuza, back on his feet and looking pretty pissed–even more when he found Haku in their possession. "You even caught Haku, pretty impressive Kakashi."

"Hey idiot, Kakashi didn't do anything!" Naruto taunted. "You're looking at the guy who captured him, right here!"

Staring down at the kid, Zabuza let out a chuckle. "So it would seem that I underestimated you again, didn't I brat? I feel a little bad that I'm going to take you apart before I get to write you in my Bingo Book."

Sakura and Sai tensed up, as did Naruto as they readied for his attack, staying close to Tazuna as instructed. Kakashi then raised his hand. "Now, now…there's no need for that, Zabuza. We're not here to fight you; we're here to strike a deal."

Zabuza stared at Kakashi. "What are you getting at?"

"I know why you're on the run, Zabuza, and I know that you have a pretty impressive bounty on your head over in Kirigakure. However, I was not hired to deal with guys like you–you see, this was as far as I was told a C-Rank mission and I'm not getting paid for my troubles. So you understand my unwillingness to fight you." Kakashi explained.

"Yeah," Zabuza said, "I can see where you'd have a problem with that. So what's your counteroffer to me killing the bridge builder?"

"You're looking for investment capital to fund your revolution in Kirigakure," Kakashi explained, "What if I told you that the wealth this bridge brings could be yours and you could hold it all as Kage of the Village Hidden in the Mangroves?"

The attention of Zabuza's ambition was captured like Haku, and the swordsman raised a barely visible eyebrow. "Namikage, huh?"

Tazuna nodded. "This country is small, however it will be super prosperous when this bridge is completed, and it is full of able bodied people looking for work and willing to fight if they have something worth believing in. If you turn against Gateau and help us, Zabuza, you can be guaranteed an army and more than a small share of any profit the bridge will bring."

"Absolutely, and in exchange for any and all cooperation, Konoha may be a little willing to help you with any unpleasantness involving your old village…"

Zabuza grinned behind his mask. "My, my Kakashi…that certainly sounds like a generous deal. I'm curious however, what do you get out of it?"

Kakashi set down Haku. "This one, and his Bloodline Limit. We'll share any viable offspring back with you, but we'd like a few Ice Limit holders of our own."

At that, Haku blushed. To be used in such a way…it was almost risqué.

Zabuza let out a laugh, and folded his arms. "You want to put him out to stud, huh? Sounds fine to me, but I want him back undamaged, got it?"

"You have my assurances that no harm will come to him." Kakashi said. "We're allies now after all, aren't we?"

Zabuza nodded. "Yeah, whatever, can't say that I was expecting this…but it's certainly not unwelcome." He then turned to Tazuna. "I'm not after your head anymore, bridge builder; you've just managed to sweeten the pot enough."

Tazuna sagged in relief, as Sakura and Naruto broke into celebratory cheers. Sai was smiling as well as Naruto draped an arm over his shoulder. Who would've thought a meager C-Rank mission would turn into something so interesting? Zabuza walked over to Tazuna, and the two exchanged a handshake under Kakashi's watchful eyes…just in case. It was in the midst of that handshake, when someone called out from the mist near the end of the bridge.

"You're going to betray me here, Zabuza?" A short older man in a suit asked as the mist withdrew to reveal him. "I suppose it's fair in the end, I had no intention of paying you anyway."

Zabuza narrowed his eyes at the sunglasses wearing man. "Is that so?"

"My plan was to let all you little ninja wear yourselves out fighting and kill you with numbers." The mist began to clear behind the man, revealing hundreds of men armed with everything from swords to spears and everything in between. "I was going to be here a little later…but then I got wind of Kakashi's little plan."

"Got wind of it?" Sakura asked. "But how…?"

Sakura trailed off and joined the rest of Team Seven in surprise when Inari stepped from behind the man, his head bowed down. Tazuna gasped in disbelief. "Inari, what are you doing with that man, get away from him!"

"No, Grandpa! It's…it's all over…" Inari called back.

"You sold us out to Gateau?" Naruto shouted at Inari, he was furious. "I can't believe you!"

"This little one, he understands the reality of this situation, that no matter what I always win and…" He stopped. "Wait…what did you call me?"

"Gateau, isn't that your name?" Sakura asked, and the man grew red in the face.

"It's Gato." He said.

"What?" Sakura asked.

"I said it's Gato you little punks! All because of that God damned Kaiza everyone's been calling me Gateau! It's Gato! Not God damned chocolate!"

Naruto looked over to Tazuna. "Seriously?"

"Yes, _Gateau_ had that man killed simply because he jokingly referred to him by that name to his face. Since then, the rest of the village has taken to calling him that as a form of defiance…it's something that Inari wouldn't understand…" Tazuna explained.

Naruto looked back over at the kid, and bristled. "So that's it, are you so afraid of Gateau that you would sell your own family out?"

"It's Gato!" Gato yelled.

"Gateau's stronger than all of you! There's no way you can win against him so why bother!" Inari shouted back.

"It's Gato, you damn brat!" Gato affirmed.

Naruto grew even angrier. "You really believe that siding with Gateau is the answer then? You piece of garbage, you just betrayed everything your Father stood for!"

Inari recoiled at that, and Kakashi raised his arm to stop Naruto, as Gato spoke up. "That's enough! I'm tired of hearing you punks mock me!"

He gestured to his men. "Kill every single one of them, especially the old man! I want to drag his body through the streets as a final lesson to anyone who dares go up against Gato!"

As the thugs cheered, Inari looked down at the ground again, tears beginning to form in his eyes. This was for the best! If his Father couldn't beat Gateau, who were they to try? What gave them any right to hope? "I'm sorry…Grandpa…but they have to see how hopeless it is."

"You know," Kakashi then said as he cut Haku free from his bonds and handed him the kunai he used to do it, "I was expecting this to be a secret agreement between you, Tazuna, and ourselves."

Humming, Zabuza reached up and grasped the hilt of his sword. "Is that right, Kakashi?"

Gato paused when he saw how nonchalant Kakashi and Zabuza were. Naruto had drawn a few Kunai, and Sakura had begun cracking her knuckles while Sai produced an art brush and scroll. Kakashi nodded. "Yes. There weren't supposed to be any witnesses to our deal, and suddenly we have far too many."

"You know, Kakashi, I think I like where this is going." Zabuza said as he drew his sword and pointed it squarely at Gato.

He then looked back at Tazuna. "Hey bridge builder, I hope you don't mind but we're going to get a bit of blood all over your hard work."

Tazuna looked from Zabuza to Gato and then Inari. "Just don't kill my grandson."

The men Gato had assembled stared at the group of ninja now walking towards them, and suddenly they could feel the murderous intent rising off them as a collective group, like a demonic beast baring its fearsome teeth at them. It was then that the group, Gato included, collectively realized that they were about to fight Kakashi Hatake and Zabuza Momochi _as a team_, and fear swept across them like the waves the country took its name from.

Dropping his cane, Gato stepped back, and began to tremble when he saw the joy that seemed to light up the features of both Kakashi and Zabuza. Seeing Gato's reaction for himself, Inari looked to Naruto, who returned the gaze.

"It's time for you to see why cowards are always wrong." Naruto said angrily, before the entire group became a blur and rushed them.

* * *

By the end of the day, Gato and his men were dead, and Wave Country was free. With the shackles of corporate oppression freed, the village that was constructing the bridge could truly celebrate and they in fact did. By sunset, every scrap of food they could find was brought out, lights were put on, and the biggest party Wave Country ever saw was getting underway. In the center of the festivities were the heroes of the day, Team Seven.

"Come on Sai go ahead and eat!" Naruto said. "We did well today. The mission to protect Tazuna should be super smooth sailing from here on in."

Sai smiled to Naruto and rather than say anything he began to eat. His report to ROOT about this mission should have some interesting reactions from Danzo. Two spots over, Sakura got cozy to Haku, who was graciously accepting a meal from Tsunami.

"So, you have an Ice Bloodline Limit, huh? Those are exceptionally rare…" Sakura said between sips from a glass of something that smelled strongly alcoholic.

Haku put on a sad smile. "I'm glad you can find it so interesting, I have a painful history with it…"

Sakura put her arm around Haku and cuddled closer to him. "Well, don't you worry; Konoha has plenty of Bloodline Limit holders so you won't be ostracized. In fact, I find that the _special snowflakes_ get me kind of hot."

Naruto overheard that, and felt the urge to punch Sakura. Haku returned a smile. "Well, please don't _melt me_, Sakura-san."

Now Naruto wanted to punch Haku, too. Tsunami found the pun exchange rather endearing, and then looked around to Kakashi and Zabuza, who were both having their fair share of beer. How did Kakashi drink it through his mask? "Kakashi-sensei…you did say that Inari was fine, didn't you?"

Kakashi nodded. "Yes, Tazuna said he'd be watching the ocean for a little while longer while he and the men cleaned up over there."

Zabuza snickered into his mug of beer, clean up indeed. Smiling, Tsunami looked out over towards the bridge and the horizon it extended off into. "I wish Kaiza could see this day…I know Inari must be just as happy."

Team Seven became oddly quiet after that.

* * *

At the other end of the bridge, Tazuna's workers gleefully took to the task of gathering up the butchered remains of the hundreds slain by Team Seven and Zabuza, and dumping them over into barges for burning. Not a single man survived the ninja who set upon them, with Gato being the last to die, despite his efforts to use Inari as a human shield. He lay on the bridge he lost everything to prevent completion, his head partially decapitated and his chest and arms full of kunai. Inari, his overalls and stupid hat drenched in the blood of the men slaughtered at the bridge, stared down at Gato's fixed open eyes, unable to move at all.

He had been a coward all along, and in the end when things were finally changing…he turned against his own family because he was afraid. In his greatest moment of despair, he had wanted Gato to win, because he was afraid to be anything but a beaten down coward. Turning his head, he spotted his Grandfather, overseeing the cleanup with a beer in hand. When he saw Inari look at him, however, the bridge builder looked away. None of the other workers, whom Inari knew by name, would look at him either…they knew what he did, and what the cost of betrayal was.

Inari looked back down at Gato, and then looked back out at the ocean. If his Father were alive, he was pretty sure he wouldn't look at him, either.

* * *

A/N: Oh God, does anyone else have whiplash? I know I do! Leave a review.


	5. Exam Overdrive 1

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the last man standing. Let the battle begin.

**And then suddenly, Ninjas!**  
Exam Overdrive 1

_Cover the Chunin Exams in less than five Chapters? Challenge Accepted._

**[4.]**

"You know…with the completion of this mission, you all have officially made the minimum requirement to take the Chunin Exams." Kakashi observed from his copy of Icha Icha Paradise, which also had a tally of missions completed ticked off on the inside of the back cover. Team Seven was approaching the gates of Konoha, with Haku a member of their group and dressed in civilian attire. As part of their agreement, Haku was licensed to spend five years in Konoha, being paired up with various women to impregnate them and spread his Hyoton Bloodline Limit around. Naruto envied Haku's mission to Konoha with every fiber of his being.

Sakura was torn, she wanted to be one of the women vigorously impregnated by Haku, but on the other hand, becoming a Chunin so quickly had its benefits too. Eh, he was going to be here for five more years, she could wait. Naruto was wearing a big grin at Kakashi's observation.

"Chunin Exams, already?" Naruto rubbed his hands together. "I'm game if you think we're ready."

"Oh I think you're ready." Kakashi replied. Sai looked between his teammates and then over to Haku, who was staring at Sakura's butt. "For a mission like this, the Hokage will be eager to see you three promoted."

Sai edged closer to Haku, who looked over to him. Sai looked back and forth between Haku and Sakura, and the former immediately nodded and smiled at the silently agreed upon plan. As Kakashi spoke, Sai moved closer to Sakura.

"After all, you all exhibited resourcefulness, determination, and talent worthy of a promotion to Chunin. You behaved professionally despite overwhelming odds and succeeded in your mission with no casualties, not even a scratch on the client, yourselves, or the Red Bridge." Kakashi went on, speaking of the bridge and the blood-soaked name it earned.

Sai groped Sakura's backside, and gave her a firm feeling up before diving down between her legs to grope her down there. Stopping dead in her tracks, Sakura's eyes flew wide, and she whirled around, only to find Haku standing back with his hands raised while Sai was back at the end of the group, drawing in his book as he had been the whole trip.

Naruto and Kakashi, being at the front of the group, did not notice the sexual harassment. Sakura, believing that it was Haku who felt her up, was not complaining as she reconsidered that vigorous impregnation. Sai was puzzled; he had fully expected to find that Sakura had a penis. Sakura bit her lower lip at Haku, and smiled seductively…only to stop and stare past him.

Haku blinked, and then looked back. "What is it-?"

He only saw the glimpse of a boot coming for his face, before Sakura yanked him aside and swung up into a high kick, deflecting the fearsome blow fired at her head by a green clad ninja, who erupted vocally to the heavens.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

Sakura grinned wildly as her shouting opponent attacked with a spinning kick as she lowered her leg and raised her arms. Blocking the first kick, she caught the one that followed immediately after and flipped her attacker backward. Spinning gracefully through the air, the green clothed Ninja landed and posed.

"The explosive geyser of youth, Rock Lee, has entered the story!" Sai stared at the boy with the odd bowl cut in the Strong Fist stance. This was the student of Might Gai? He had heard thing but he didn't think that he would be so much…like him.

"Oh boy…if he's here that means…" Sai looked over to Naruto, who appeared as upset at the appearance of the other Konoha-nin as Sakura was excited. Sakura began to hop from one foot to another, as she adopted her loose Gentle Fist stance.

"Your openers are getting better!" Sakura declared as she flashed forward, her fist clapping against the back of Lee's as he blocked her blow.

"Why thank you, Sakura!" Lee replied without missing a beat and counterattacking. He and Sakura quickly traded their blows, smoothly transitioning between attack and defense like choreographed stage fighters, deadly fists coming to within deadly inches of vitals, only to be deflected or blocked smartly by the other.

Both then jumped away from each other, their feet gliding just above the ground before they landed. Setting both feet down, Sakura smirked as Lee gestured for her to come at him. Sai raised his brows, and watched as she and Lee suddenly disappeared and then switched places, the air displaced air kicking up dust around them both as they came to a stop.

Naruto watched, but he appeared aloof to the spectacle, like he'd seen it countless times. Haku broke into applause. Sai was intrigued, back at the Red Bridge Massacre, he had seen Sakura move quickly to kill her targets, but he didn't think her this fast.

"Excellent!" Lee exclaimed. "You've been putting forth incredible effort since we last met! Have you been following my advice?"

Sakura gestured to her dress. "There's no way I'm wearing those tacky leggings, so I've sewn weights into my dress!"

Sai had learned over the course of his trip with Sakura, to not say things unless he really wanted to take the air out of her sails. Instead, he amused himself by just thinking about the obvious shot he would have fired at her at that very instant. Lee immediately gave Sakura a thumb's up. "You are resourceful as you are beautiful, Sakura!"

"Ahn! You're making me blush!" Sakura squealed back as she swooned. Lee then zipped over to Sakura's side, putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. "Eh?"

"Sakura…" He whispered to her, before glancing quickly over to Naruto, Sai, and Haku. "…Who is that beautiful young woman over there?"

Sakura shook her head. "I'm sorry but that's a boy."

Lee sagged. "Goodness, I'm glad I asked this time. I wouldn't want a repeat with Neji."

From down the path, another group appeared, Team Gai led by Might Gai. Naruto soured even further when he spotted with the green-wearing Jonin Neji Hyuga. Kakashi waved over to him. "Hey there Gai, you back from a mission?"

"That's right, Kakashi! It's good to see that you've made it back safe from yours!" He looked down to Haku. "Hell young lady-."

"I'm a boy." Haku decided that maybe a haircut was in order.

"Oh, my mistake, I'm sorry." Gai looked aside to Neji and nudged him with an elbow and smiled. "Doesn't that bring back memories?"

Neji repressed unsettling memories with contempt for Naruto, who returned the glare with identical intensity. Paying it no mind, Kakashi continued. "Since this is their eighth completed mission, I've decided to put them all into the Chunin Exams. I think it might be good for them to move up as quickly as possible."

"In other words he wants to get rid of us quickly so he can go back to lazing about." Sai offered.

"That too…" Kakashi admitted freely.

Neji then spoke up. "Gai-sensei, I'm going ahead."

Gai nodded to Neji, and as he and Kakashi continued to discuss the merits of sending their respective Genin to the Chunin Exams, he walked to and past Naruto. Time seemed to freeze at the very moment they passed, with Neji glaring at Naruto from the corner of his eyes, while Naruto pushed his glasses back up into place with his middle finger.

"Uzumaki." Neji said.

"Branch House." Naruto replied.

Time resumed, and Neji continued on his way, leaving Sai curious about the bad blood between his teammate and the Hyuga.

* * *

By the next morning, everyone had been settled in, and Naruto was leaving his place at the Hokage's residence and headed for Ichiraku's. After such a long mission, and with the Chunin exams up and coming, he was eager to enjoy some much needed R and R at home before he threw himself up against the Genin of the world. After some delicious ramen and maybe hanging out with Hinata for a little while, it'd be off to train.

Naruto stopped mid-step and hummed. Actually scratch seeing Hinata, Neji was back in town so he'd be over at the mansion, and Naruto was not in the mood to deal with him. Maybe he could grab Sakura and do some training with her instead…that is if she hadn't decided to bang Haku stupid.

He was about to resume walking, when he heard some shuffling behind him. When he looked back, there was a box the same color as the ground with eye holes at the front. Staring down at the box, he wedged his toe under it and flipped it over. "Alright Konohamaru quit it…"

There was no one under the box. Sighing, Naruto suddenly reached back and grabbed Konohamaru Sarutobi out of midair and slammed him onto his back with a thud. The young boy cried out in pain. "Ow!"

"That was pretty impressive, runt!" Naruto congratulated with a big grin. "Using the box as a feint and attacking when I went to tip it over."

He then leaned down. "You should've put an explosive tag or some other trap under the box to go off when I moved it. But you shouldn't bother because I'll know what to expect."

Konohamaru got up, rubbing the back of his head. Immediately two other children joined him, a sniffling boy who looked like he was ready to fall asleep standing up, and an adorable girl with a tragic hair style, and they were all wearing goggles just like Konohamaru. The Hokage's grandson spoke to his young comrades. "I told you he was amazing, didn't I?"

"So this is Aniki?" The sniffling boy asked.

Konohamaru crossed his arms and nodded. "You're darn right! He's my mortal rival, and one day we will battle for the title of Hokage!"

"He's really handsome!" The girl said. "I'm Moegi, it's a pleasure to meet you, Aniki!"

"I'm Udon, can you teach me that throw, Aniki?" The sniffling boy said.

"Aniki, huh?" Naruto looked between the children. "You guys are a riot."

Nevertheless he had a smile on his face that the kids responded to with theirs. "Alright I might show you a few things but first, wanna go have some ramen with me?"

Konohamaru's eyes sparkled at the prospect of learning some new moves, as did those of Udon and Moegi. "Okay, Aniki! Race you to Ichiraku!"

"You'll lose." Naruto said as the three children ran for it, just as a pair came rounding the corner. "Oh crap, look out!"

It was too late, and Konohamaru crashed into the leg of a young man dressed in all black save for a two-tone circle symbol on his chest and a large white-wrapped object on his back. His companion, a rather attractive young woman, rested her hands on her hips as she looked down at the child who barreled into her companion.

Naruto immediately identified their forehead protectors. _"Sunagakure…are they here for the exams–hope so, the girl is pretty hot."_

Kankuro, Genin of the Village Hidden in the Sand, snorted and stared down at the kid who ran right into his knee. Great, Konoha brats getting their grimy little paws all over his threads, just what he wanted. "Hey kid, that hurt."

He grabbed Konohamaru by his collar and hauled him off his feet before raising him up high, causing him to immediately put up a struggle. Moegi immediately cried out in protest, as Udon cowered behind her. Naruto frowned, as Kankuro's companion–his sister Temari–admonished him. "Put the kid down, we'll get yelled at."

"Let me go!" Konohamaru yelled as he tried to kick at him. Kankuro just smirked.

"The kid said put him down." Naruto then spoke up as he adjusted his glasses to appear intimidating. Both Kankuro and Temari looked at him.

Temari smiled a little bit. "Looks like a Leaf Genin and pretty green, too."

"Pretty orange, you mean. If this is the average Leaf Genin, I'd be embarrassed to want to hold the Chunin Exams here." Kankuro taunted as he turned his attention to Konohamaru. "Buzz off, you walking target."

He then looked at Konohamaru, and had an idea for some fun. "Unless you want to make something of it, do you?"

"You don't want to go there, fatass." Naruto warned as he began walking over, "That's not just any kid you're messing with, he's a little brother to me and–whoa!"

Kankuro had tugged with his hand, extending a string of chakra that had snared Naruto's foot and yanked it from under him. As Naruto went down, he let out a laugh. "Are you serious? Leaf-nin are so weak…"

"What did you do to Aniki you…you fat pig!" Moegi cried out.

"You jerk!" Udon bravely added from behind her.

Kankuro just huffed mockingly. "I hate little brats like you, especially the loud ones who think they're hot shit."

He gave Naruto a pointed look at that before turning to Konohamaru. He then raised his fist. "Brats like you need some discipline to keep from running around and knocking people over."

Temari rolled her eyes and looked away, and Moegi gasped in horror as Udon ducked down behind her, unable to watch. As Konohamaru struggled more violently, Kankuro grinned and punched him hard as he could. His fist, however, plowed straight into Temari's face, surprising her and knocking her flat out.

"What…? Oh crap!" Kankuro stopped when he heard Naruto let out a mocking laugh behind him. Looking over, Kankuro's eyes widened when he saw Naruto carrying Konohamaru on his shoulders the smuggest look ever seen in the history of mankind.

"Are you serious? Sand-nin are so stupid." Naruto taunted.

Kankuro was understandably furious, as he removed the heavy wrapped up object from his back. "You little piece of shit, who the Hell do you think you are?"

"You don't want to go there, buddy." Kankuro stopped when he heard the voice from over his head. "You put the wrong foot forward and got made a fool, so you'd better scoop up your cute friend there and run along."

Three Genin were standing up in the tree above Kankuro's head, two of them he didn't recognize but the one who spoke he most definitely did. "Sasuke Uchiha."

Sasuke looked to his teammates, one Idate Morino, and a bespectacled kunoichi named Shiho, and let out a smug chuckle. "Some Sand-nin who's beneath my notice, get out of here with your tail between your legs…and take your creepy friend with you."

Naruto followed where Sasuke had nodded over, and froze when he saw the "creepy friend" that Sasuke was referring to, standing upside down under another branch close to Sasuke and his team. Red hair, giant gourd on back, and a really, really scary look about him–yes it was him, Sunagakure's Demon Container, Gaara of the Sand Waterfall.

_"He's here to take the exams too?"_ Naruto thought, before Gaara appeared in front of him. Konohamaru practically fell off his shoulders at the speed which Gaara moved, but Naruto kept him up there.

"I apologize for my brother, he's a moron." Gaara said to Naruto before looking back to Kankuro and Temari. "…As is my sister for failing to intervene when she should have. I commend you on your skillful use of replacement jutsu."

He then turned to Kankuro, who was helping up a mumbling and semiconscious Temari up. "Damn it, I think I gave her a concussion."

Naruto pulled out a notepad and wrote it down. "The female Sand-nin had a recent concussion…exploit ruthlessly."

Konohamaru was in sheer awe. "You're so cool, Aniki…"

Kankuro, sufficiently humiliated, glared daggers at Naruto. "This isn't over, Leaf-bastard! If I see you again, you're dead!"

Gaara turned away from Naruto and walked past Kankuro, who followed a few paces behind while helping a limply supporting herself Temari along. As they left, Naruto looked over to Sasuke and his team. "I had it, you know."

"I know. I just wanted to be badass." Sasuke replied.

Naruto smiled broadly, this is why women wanted Sasuke Uchiha, and men wanted to be Sasuke Uchiha. "Hey, you guys wanna have ramen with us?"

Sasuke nodded. "Sure, we got a break before the exams, may as well shoot the shit."

Jumping down, Sasuke, Idate, and Shiho joined Naruto's side. "Say…how'd you pull off that Replacement Jutsu so fast?"

"We can discuss that and more over ramen, my friends." Naruto declared as they walked off, under the intrigued eyes of three Genin with musical notes upon their forehead protectors.

* * *

"So wait, every Genin Team that graduated this year and last year are going into the exams?" Sakura asked as Team Seven walked towards the building where the first part of the Chunin Exams would be held. Aside from Naruto's run-in with the Sand Genin, the last few days had gone by so uneventfully that it was really not worth mentioning, though Sakura was sitting pretty about having gotten to first base with Haku. Sai, whom everyone had seen very little of since their return, was as mysterious as ever–stating hat he had been off with others the last few days, and offered no other clues.

"Looks like it, Kakashi told me how Iruka made a big fuss over it but our teachers all sound pretty confident that we can move up." Naruto explained. "He's right, too."

Sakura pumped her fists. "Shannaro! I look forward to acing these exams, how hard can they be?"

"You could die." Sai pointed out.

"Not really an indicator of hard they can be." Sakura replied.

"You might have to fight Sasuke." Sai again pointed out.

"That's doable. Besides, to the winner go the spoils…" Sakura's laugh at the end was somewhat creepy.

Sai turned to Naruto. "Are you aware that you're attracted to a potential rapist?"

Sakura smacked Sai upside his head, and Naruto just let out a sigh. At this rate they were going to be disqualified because Sai got killed. Entering the building, they immediately made their way up the stairs and found the crowd waiting by room 301–the assigned classroom for the first part of the exam. When they stepped outside the stairwell, however, the end of a closed fan was rested against Naruto's chin, and he looked over to find Hinata leaning against the wall.

"You've been avoiding me the last few days, Naruto-san." She admonished politely.

Sai looked over, but Sakura took his arm and led him off. Naruto nervously scratched the back of his head as Hinata opened her fan up to conceal her lips to the rest of the room. "Is it because of Neji?"

"Kind of, yeah…" Naruto replied as he scanned the crowd for him. Sure enough he was standing off to the side, as Lee tried to get past the two Genin watching the door. "I didn't feel like dealing with his crap after coming back from a good mission."

"How did that go, by the way?" Hinata asked.

Naruto grinned big. "We single-handedly redrew the Geopolitical Map of the Elemental Countries."

It seemed that Gato liked to keep his wealth close to home, so when Zabuza ended his life, Wave Country took up all of his assets and immediately put them to good use. In maybe two or three years, Wave was going to be a wildly different place. Hinata smiled. "Congratulations on your first big mission."

Naruto stretched his arms above his head and then put one around Hinata's shoulders. "Yep, I'm thinking I'm gonna be Hokage by the time I'm…what…sixteen? Seventeen, maybe…? Yep, the future is bright."

Hinata let out a soft laugh as she leaned closer to Naruto, the fan raised higher to hide her blush as she gave him a sloe-eyed look. "You're so naïvely ambitious; it's an attractive quality, Naruto-san…"

She turned her head to look at him directly, and then opened her fan wider to hide both their faces as she stole a peck from his lips. Pulling away, she giggled softly as Naruto went up in a fluster. He chuckled like an idiot, as Team Ten arrived on the scene, on seeing Naruto and Hinata away from the group and uncomfortably close, Shikamaru Nara rolled his eyes.

"Come on you guys, could you at least humor our guests leave and get a room?" He asked.

"Trying to eliminate the competition early?" Naruto fired back.

Hinata smiled from behind her fan. "Good morning to you, Shikamaru-san, I take it you are well?"

"Been better, I'd rather not be here but you know…" Shikamaru responded as his best friend and wingman Chouji Akimichi joined his side. Their token girl Ino went ahead, likely in search of Sasuke who probably hadn't even shown up yet–Team One had a habit similar to Kakashi's to arrive late to things.

"Funny, you act like you don't want to be a Chunin." Naruto taunted Shikamaru.

"I want a lot of things, and I want them to not be symbolic, stupid, or more trouble than they tend to be worth." Shikamaru replied. "But I can't have those things."

"I think you ask for too much." Chouji pointed out.

"He does." Hinata and Naruto said together.

Shikamaru deadpanned a "Screw you guys", as the rest of Hinata's team walked over. Shino Aburame, or the creepy bug dude as Naruto liked to call him, looked back over towards the shouting match going on between Team Gai and the Leaf-nin guarding the door to 301, and the other foreign Nin standing around, before turning back to his comrades. "Hey, how long do you think it'll be before the foreigners realize that this is the second floor and not the third?"

"I guess when Team Gai stops screwing around." Shikamaru responded.

Kiba Inuzaka, or dog guy as Naruto referred to him in notes, scoffed. "Lee's putting on a show to look like an idiot, when all he has to do is just stand around."

"Making us look bad works in our favor though. So there's some wisdom to it." Hinata noted. "They expect something better from the village that killed the Nine-Tailed Fox. Seeing us for the fools we appear to be will make them careless, and ultimately…"

Naruto grinned. "…Easy to knock off when they go up against us."

"Kind of like those Sand-nin you made look like idiots, huh?" Word of that definitely got around if Chouji was the one bringing it up.

Naruto laughed. "Ha, yeah…"

"Oh? I did not hear of this, did you have a skirmish, Naruto-san?" Hinata asked.

"Kind of, this fat idiot from Sand was messing with Konohamaru, so I got him to punch his sister." Naruto grew smug at that. "He was so mad."

Kiba nodded. "Yeah, he gave her a full-blown concussion too. I only wish I was there to see it."

"You're terrible." Hinata softly scolded as Naruto basked in Kiba's envy. Even Shikamaru had to have a little smirk at Naruto's little stunt. The world then seemed to shift, and the Genjutsu that was over the door faded. There was a commotion going on near the door, and one of the Leaf-nin was on the ground, clutching his crotch as Sakura stood over him with a foot on his back.

"Alright already, are we done here? The Genjutsu is canceled, let's move it along people!" She called out as the other Leaf-nin guarding the door cowered away from her nervously.

Hinata pouted. "She's so brazen."

"Mm…braised pork belly…" Chouji muttered.

Shikamaru turned and stared at him. "Wait, what?"

Naruto grinned to Hinata as the group headed for the stairs to get to the next floor. "It's why I like her."

"Could you be more shameless?" Kiba asked, visibly offended by Naruto's interest in Sakura when Hinata is _right there_.

* * *

The actual examination room was already packed when the Konoha Teams arrived with the other stragglers. Dozens of Ninja from different villages in different countries were present. While Sai regarded the room with his usual detached aloofness, even Naruto was a little bit shocked at the sides of the crowds. Sakura, however, was scouting out for hotties among their numbers, and she was not disappointed.

"Oh my God…" She whispered. "Sure, they're not Sasuke but ooh…I'd want to engage in some rigorous diplomacy with some of these boys."

"So it's true when they say that the ugliest girls are the easiest." Sai let slip, before Sakura grabbed and flattened him with a headbutt. "Ow."

"He was learning so well." Naruto said sadly, before Sai was scooped into Ino's arms. "Huh?"

Ino pointed admonishingly at Sakura. "Seriously, just because he speaks his mind you have to right to do that? Maybe you should watch your mouth and not act like a skank!"

Sakura stared at Ino. "Okay, two things there, swine: First and foremost, don't ever call me a skank again. Second, the jerk deserves it every time he opens his mouth."

Ino looked down at Sai, who stared up at her. "My goodness, you're absolutely stunning."

"Oh, thank you!" Ino replied happily. Sakura balked and then threw up her hands.

"He's just doing it to spite me!" She declared.

Sai nodded. "It's true; the enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I do think you're stunning, I prefer blondes to dye jobs."

Sakura punched Sai. "I AM ALL NATURAL YOU ASS!"

Shikamaru had his face buried in his palm as Ino and Sakura began to go head to head. Everyone was staring at the noisy Genin who had barged in and they looked agitated. "You guys, you're embarrassing yourselves."

Naruto's glasses became opaque, and he put on an almost comically smug smile as Sakura and Ino stopped scrapping. He looked across the room full of Genin, and let out a chuckle. At his side, Hinata raised her fan to hide her own haughty smile.

"Who cares, Shikamaru? What do we have to worry about from any of these bastards?" Naruto boasted loudly, and proceeded to piss off every Genin in the room who did not have a Konoha Forehead Protector on.

"Did you hear that Leaf Bastard?" Kankuro growled to Temari, who was not in a speaking mood. "Arrogant little shit."

Gaara said nothing either, his attention was better paid to the three Ninja with musical note forehead protectors sizing up Naruto. Those three…they had the same look he did when he was eying prey; this was going to be interesting.

"Listen to that, you hear that?" A dark-skinned Genin in the back whose forehead protector denoted Kumogakure muttered. "Talking like that's going to start a fight, and it's going to get ugly. The next thing you know, we're all at war…"

"Shut up, it's not going to happen like that." His companion, a redheaded girl of similar complexion, grumbled back.

A Kirigakure ninja wearing a goofy pair of headphones stared in wide eyes at Naruto. "He's the one who helped Zabuza…Naruto Uzumaki…he looks tough…"

Not all the Konoha ninja in the room were amused by Naruto's boast. Neji could only glower at not only Naruto's behavior, but Hinata in enabling such boorish hubris. The doors were driven open again, and Shiho and Idate entered, flanking Sasuke who wore a pretty arrogant look himself.

"I think he's right," Sasuke said as he and Naruto exchanged a nod in greeting, "All of your outsiders are trash ninja."

"Typical Uchiha talk!" Another ninja declared, before a blur moved past him. "Huh?"

To nearly everyone's surprise, a Genin of Otogakure, Zaku, leaped above the heads of his peers and hurled a pair of kunai down at Naruto, forcing him to step back. As Naruto stopped, a second Otogakure Genin, the heavily bandaged Dosu, suddenly appeared in front of him with his hand drawn back to swing at him.

He stopped cold in his tracks, however, when the end of Hinata's fan rested against his throat. Opening another to conceal her mouth, she stared at the Sound-nin and her gentle, pale eyes darkened. "Talk is merely talk; don't lose your life over it."

Naruto frowned as Dosu lowered his arm and stepped back, surprised by the speed at which the Hyuga heiress had moved to defend the loud idiot. "My…apologies…it's our first time, please forgive us."

"That's right, back to your seat." Hinata softly ordered as he backed off, she was likewise put off by the strange Nin's behavior but showed no sign of it.

A loud bang sounded from the front of the classroom and a gruff voice boomed from the cloud of smoke it heralded. "That's enough you bastards! Take your seats!"

Moving like well, Ninjas, the Genin quickly assumed their seats, at the sight of the intimidating Ibiki Morino and his squad of test overseers. "While I appreciate the spirit of rivalry for these tests, fighting is forbidden during this portion of the exam. If at any time I may allow for some combat, killing your opponent is expressly forbidden and will result in failure."

Dosu passed a look back at Naruto as he spoke. "I apologize, sir."

"Good, that cleared up. I am Ibiki Morino and I will be the proctor for this examination." Ibiki explained. "Instead of your current seating arrangements, you will pick a number and sit in the assigned seat, after that we will hand out the tests."

"A written exam, it's a good thing I studied…" Naruto mused as he took a number and found his seat. To his relief, he was seated next to Hinata, who regarded him with a brief smile. On his other side was Sasuke, who folded his hands and watched the front of the class intently as the papers were handed out among the students.

The muscular, scarred proctor of the exam then began to explain the rules, and Naruto's eyes wandered about the class. "Do not turn your tests over and pay close attention, for I will not answer questions. There are many important rules to this test, and I will write them on the board as I explain."

Naruto spied that Sai and Sakura were mercifully far apart as Ibiki spoke. "The first rule is that you will be given ten points. There are ten questions to the test, and any wrong answers will subtract a point from it…"

Sakura tapped her pencil on the desk as Ibiki went over the second rule, and how the combined scores of the team would determine whether or not they would pass. She had nothing to worry about, Sai seemed to know his stuff despite being pants on head stupid, and Naruto was Naruto. No pressure there. Then Ibiki revealed the third and interesting rule.

"Any student being caught cheating by the Testing Officers will have two points deducted from their exams. So expect some of you to be leaving during the exam." Ibiki explained before gesturing to the Testing Officers.

"We'll be keeping our eyes on you." One of them spoke ominously.

Ibiki continued. "The pathetic ninja that get caught will be destroying themselves. Those trying to achieve the rank of Chunin…be proud ninja."

Naruto looked over to Sasuke, who was all smiles when that rule came up. He was up to something. _"I wonder if he'll use the Sharingan to cheat. There are a lot of proctors here, one or two of them could be Uchiha and they'd spot him in an instant…"_

Ibiki had one final rule, and he began to write it onto the board. "The final rule…is that any ninja who fails their test, their teammates will be failed as well. It is not negotiable, I decide who passes and fails in this exam."

The tension in the classroom skyrocketed, and everyone looked to one another, especially teammates eying the weakest links of their teams. Those especially from the smaller villages felt the pressure as the ninja from Sand, Cloud, and Leaf maintained an air of confidence. Ibiki liked to see that, a sense of urgency in the air before the test–not unlike the tension before a life or death mission.

"Okay," Ibiki began, "The test will take exactly one hour. Pencils up…and begin!"

As the students began to pick up their pencils, Sasuke closed his eyes, waited a few moments, and then opened them quickly. The students hadn't begun reading the first questions, when all of a sudden, Ibiki called out.

"Pencils down." He ordered. "Before we go any further, I will ask a single question. How many of you want to become Chunin?"

Ibiki's Testing Officers stopped and looked up in muted bemusement at the proctor as he asked the unusual question. Almost immediately, every hand in the room went up. Raising his hand with everyone else, Naruto puzzled himself over the strange question from Ibiki. Counting over the raised hands, all of them, Ibiki nodded and then folded his arms over his chest.

"Very well then, all of you pass." Ibiki explained.

The silence that fell on the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. Finally, Shikamaru slammed his hands on the desk and stood up.

"Okay, what?" He asked as everyone broke into cheers and Ibiki's assistants looked to each other, at a distinct loss.

"Proctor, why did you…?" The same Officer who threatened the Genin ominously asked.

"That's my decision, and I decide who passes or fails, do I not?" Ibiki fired back. "Inform the next Proctor that we are finished here."

"But Proctor…!" As the protest continued, Naruto looked aside to Sasuke, and his eyes widened when he saw that his lips were moving with Ibiki's, and his Sharingan was fully active.

_"That son of a bitch…he went straight for the guy administering the test to pass us all…"_ Naruto realized in amazement.

There was a sudden crash and all Hell broke loose as a blur came through the window, tumbled through the air, and came to a stop right atop the desk where Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata were seated. All the students present backed off, and stared at the newcomer in surprise.

"Oh damn…" Sakura whispered.

Naruto gawked at the woman wearing nothing more than a coat, shorts, and fishnet armor that left nothing to the imagination and felt that he truly became a man this day. "…Wow."

"It would seem Morino, that you've been had." Forming the proper seals, Anko Mitarashi canceled the Genjutsu that Morino had been placed under, and the other Proctor shook his head in surprise.

"…I see…" Ibiki said as he realized what had just transpired quickly. "So, an Uchiha's trying to make his exam interesting."

Another student, from some unimportant village shot up to his feet. "Wait, does our passing still stand?"

"I'm afraid it does." Anko replied. "As the examiner of this test, every decision is his and it must be abided by. It is by far the most unique way to pass this test I've ever seen."

Breaking free of the hypnotic power of Anko's highly visible breasts, Naruto glared at Sasuke. "You damn showoff."

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and put on a shit-eating smile. "Problem, Naruto?"

Naruto hunched forward, grumbling. _"Stupid Sasuke and his stupid eyes and his stupid awesome…I'll have to kick it up a few notches. I won't lose to you!"_

Over at his table, Gaara nodded slowly, Sasuke Uchiha…he was a strong opponent. _"How will you react when I make you bleed?"_

It wasn't just Sunagakure heads that Sasuke was turning, as Dosu, Zaku, and their token girl Kin regarded Sasuke with complete surprise. Either that Morino guy was weak in the head, or Sasuke was the real deal…a Sharingan of that power…

On the other side of Sasuke, unnoticed by the grandstanding Anko and Naruto and Hinata, a redhead kunoichi from Kusagakure was completely blown away by the radiant aura of confidence that emanated from Sasuke, it seemed to pour from his very chakra itself.

_"It's so bright and warm…"_ She could only think.

Anko then grabbed everyone's attention. "Now that this test is settled, everyone get up and move out. Since so many of you, all of you really, passed the test…the next one's going to have to compensate."

Murmurs of "Compensate?" rose from the students, and Anko was more than glad to clarify. "Simply put, if you're not good enough to pass my test…"

She licked her lips.

"…A lot of you are going to die out here."

* * *

A/N: Can you count the unnamed cameos? Win a prize, be an unimportant Genin to die next chapter!

Disclaimer: You may not be an unimportant Genin next chapter. Pandering to reviews like this is pathetic and attention whoring.

Disclaimer for Disclaimer: NO IT ISN'T YOU STUPID, STUPID WHORE. Please leave a review.


	6. Exam Overdrive 2

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the last man standing. Let the battle begin.

**And then suddenly, Ninjas!**  
Exam Overdrive 2

_You can't see the Forest for the Trees…_

**[5.]**

There were three things Sarutobi never wanted to see in his office. The first was Danzo, because well that piece of junk coward wanted so desperately to be Hokage that he was willing to create an army of emotionlessly dead mooks to die for him, but was entirely unwilling to put his life on the line for it himself–always has. The second was his wife, mainly because she had been dead for just short of thirteen years and her suddenly popping up in his office meant the Zombie Apocalypse had come, someone got into the ol' Edo Tensei, or she was the sweet messenger of death come to take him away. The third thing he never wanted in his office was Jiraiya, who was here in his office and whose unexpected arrival meant one troubling thing.

"He's in my village somewhere, isn't he?" Sarutobi asked the well-aged Legendary Toad Sannin, who stood on the other side of his desk.

Jiraiya nodded grimly. "I wouldn't be here if he wasn't, you know that Sensei."

Sarutobi took a puff from his pipe and sighed. "Looks like I'm going to have to beat the crap out of one of my foolish pupils when this is over."

If he knew his stupid pupil, then there was any number of objectives he had in mind: Sasuke, revenge, Sunagakure's demon container, or–most troublingly–Naruto. It had taken Fugaku only minutes to tear the information from a screaming Mizuki, he had learned about Naruto's origins from the sole rogue element in Sarutobi's inner-circle–his once trusted disciple now turned criminal Missing-nin.

"Do you think he's informed anyone about Naruto?" Jiraiya asked.

"I doubt it; he wouldn't just reveal something important like that unless it was in his absolute best interest. It's an impressive insurance policy and not one to freely give away." Sarutobi mused.

Jiraiya nodded in agreement. "It makes the most sense. Then why tell Mizuki?"

Sarutobi weighed that. "As Mizuki confessed, he had done what he had out of greed and nothing more. Naruto's status would be valuable to quite a few parties, from the other villages to the Daimyo."

"Especially the Daimyo…" Jiraiya added, considering that thanks to the "death" of the Fox, Konoha's budget had expanded considerably.

"That said, for information like that, he could get anything he wanted from Mizuki, with that scroll being one of them. However, I know that foolish pupil of mine, and I'm certain that a single scroll wasn't his objective."

Jiraiya nodded, that was a possibility. Being a student of Sarutobi, he as well as his former teammates knew the value of plans within plans. It came to him after a moment of consideration. "An otherwise loyal Konoha ninja suddenly and readily attempting to steal a scroll full of forbidden jutsu must have had a very good reason to do it…"

"Other loyal Konoha ninja, particularly those close to Mizuki's personality…will be curious over what was so valuable that they'd risk becoming a traitor and a Missing-nin for." Sarutobi concluded, before a knock at the door sounded. "It is open?"

The door opened and one of Konoha's military police entered, Shisui Uchiha. "Hokage-sama…we have a problem."

Sarutobi looked from Jiraiya to Shisui. "What was stolen?"

Shisui blinked in surprise, as Jiraiya looked back and forth between the two.

"How did you know, sir?"

* * *

Training Ground Forty-Four, also known as the "Forest of Death" and rightfully so for the horrors that it contained within. A nightmarish patch of dense woods twenty kilometers across and filled to the brim with all manner of flora and fauna meant for no other purpose than to kill whomever enters. This was a place so dangerous that waivers needed to be signed, placing any and all responsibility on those who would take part in the next stage of the exam.

The objective was simple. Three scrolls, a Heaven, Earth, and a fake that could be either or a blank, were handed out at random to the many Genin teams. They then had five days to traverse the forest, and reach the tower at the center. They of course had to have an actual Heaven and Earth scroll when they got there or they failed. How they got the scroll from their opponents in the battle? Well…that was entirely up to them, and when they were told that killing was allowed…many had the same thought.

That arrogant little orange shit was a dead man.

"Find that piece of shit Naruto Uzumaki!" An Iwagakure team's leader declared as they rushed into the forest.

"We've got five days to get to the tower," A Rain-nin said to his comrades as they moved through the trees, "Until we find that orange asshole, I just won't feel good about myself."

In another part of the woods, a Kusagakure team was in hot search as well. "When we find him…he's dead."

"Yeah!" His teammates declared.

Team Gai was on the move elsewhere, with Lee turning to Neji as they leaped over branches and through the trees. "Are you going to go after him too?"

Neji just snorted back. Lee quickly deciphered Neji's response and smiled. "You're right, despite everything we must focus on the challenge at hand!"

Elsewhere further, Team Ten was still reeling over it, especially Shikamaru. "I can't believe he said that, in front of everyone there."

"Look on the bright side; they'll be all out to kill him and no one else." Chouji pointed out, to which Ino agreed. "It'll give us a chance to get the jump on some of them."

Team Eight's opinion was wildly different, as exclaimed by Kiba as they took a more leisurely pace through the forest. "Man Naruto, you are my hero."

"One would be bold to say such a thing…" Shino agreed. Hinata just muted a laugh behind one of her fans.

Up at the very tops of the trees overlooking the Forest of Death, Sasuke and his team listened as a shout went up.

"There's the little bastard now, kill him!" Explosions soon followed, and then came the screams.

"Naruto," Sasuke freely admitted, "You are a mad genius."

A team from Sunagakure immediately spotted orange in the trees, and zeroed in on Naruto as he rushed through the forest. The leader of the team pointed. "Look, there he is now!"

As the team changed their course and pursued, a team from Kirigakure acquired Naruto as well, swinging from vine to vine like a jungle man, and immediately attacked. Elsewhere, a team of Leaf Genin agitated by Naruto's transgression was hot on his trail as well, moving quickly in an attempt to flank him and his teammates. They had almost gotten him in sight, when they collided roughly with a Genin from Amegakure, knocking askewthe large straw hat he wore.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" The Rain Genin yelled at the Leaf Ninja, before both groups jumped apart and got ready.

The Leaf-nin glared at their potential opponents. "Do they have a Heaven Scroll or an Earth Scroll?"

The Rain-nin pulled out his scroll. "It's Earth, you morons…just like yours."

"Forget it then, quick! Uzumaki couldn't have gotten far!" The Leaf-nin leaped off, and the Rain team gave a start.

"Wait, you saw where that orange punk went to?" The leader of the team called out.

"Like we'd tell you, that arrogant piece of crap is ours!" And like that, the Rain-nin team was left in the dust.

Bringing his hand up, the lead Rain-nin lowered the brim of his had and let out a laugh. "Okay…this is pretty awesome."

Bringing the hat back up, Sakura looked over to Naruto, who grinned under his hat, the entire ensemble like the others worn by Team Seven stolen from some Amegakure Ninja who had gone after them. "Shouldn't be too hard to find a Heaven Scroll at this rate, should it?"

"It'll be pretty easy from here in." Naruto replied as the team resumed walking.

Naruto's plan was extremely simple and played to his strength perfectly. Piss off everyone taking the exam with a vicious insult targeting their skills, their chances for survival, their mothers, and most importantly their inferiority to him, followed by running off into the woods and creating a mass of Shadow Clones to send everyone on a wild goose chase. As long as Naruto could discretely put out clones, then he could keep up his disguise.

"I await the looks on everyone's faces when we make it to the Tower while they're all frustrated over the clones." Sai said to his teammates.

"They will be spectacular. Now let's go find a Heaven Scroll. It's only going to be a matter of time before they wise up and just start killing my clones on sight." Naruto said, and the trio shot off into the trees.

* * *

By sunset, pursuing Naruto clones had succeeded in wearing down quite a few teams, and when it was generally accepted that they had in fact been on a wild goose chase, the clones switched their tactics up and began using one-off suicide attacks with explosive tags to keep nearly everyone on edge. Not one of those teams on edge was the Kumogakure team of Samui, Omoi, and Karui.

"Another Shadow Clone…" Karui growled as she effortlessly dispatched a clone that had attempted an ambush. "Doesn't he have anymore tricks?"

Rubbing the small of her back Samui, a blonde, noticeably tall kunoichi with impressive endowments for her age (which coincidentally were the cause of her lower back pain) watched the smoke from the clone fade. "We should be thankful that it didn't explode like the others."

Sheathing her sword, the cat-eyed Karui nodded at that. "To make this many actual clones you'd have to have a lot of chakra."

"Who knows how much he has?" Omoi, the only boy in the team complained. He had been victim to the explosive suicide clones twice so far. He had survived them both, and by the third they had figured how to handle them easily. "I mean, he could have as much chakra as Sensei, or even Yugito-sensei!"

Karui rolled her eyes. "He'd have to be a demon container for that, and they're all accounted for–idiot."

Samui reached up and rubbed her shoulder, which was now protesting the large (and still growing) deposits of fat on her chest. Why'd she have to be such an early bloomer? That Hyuga girl never seemed to have trouble, maybe she could ask her for some tips later. "It's getting late you guys, and we still have to get a hold of an Earth Scroll. Let's secure a camp site and get some rest."

"Resting out here, are you nuts? This jungle is crazy and there could still be Naruto copies creeping about! We could be in the middle of digging out a latrine or something and then we look up and BOOM!" Omoi cried.

Karui groaned. "Then we'll sleep in a tree and you can take dumps on people's heads if that's your immediate concern."

"Oh right, because that'll protect us from Naruto Bombs!" Omoi fell into dread. "What if we fall out of the tree while we're sleeping? Samui has her airbags to land on, but you and I are done for!"

Karui immediately and violently kicked Omoi in the face, knocking the lollipop he was sucking on at that instant out of his mouth. "WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING YOU SON OF A BITCH?"

Samui looked over to her teammates. "If you guys are done, let's just set up camp here, secure it with traps, and we can take shifts guarding it. Omoi, go get us some water, Karui help me set up the traps."

As Omoi reluctantly headed off, Karui eagerly went to help Samui on those traps. With a little luck, she'd get to test one on Omoi when he got back, the bastard. Worrying over the possibilities, Omoi headed over to a nearby stream which fed into the river that ran through the forest and began to collect water.

"I'm not letting another damn clone bomb sneak up on me." He grumbled before he noticed something going on across the broad stream. A trio of Grass-nin was advancing along the bank, and he could see that they had both an Earth and Heaven scroll. Immediately he reached for the sword on his back. "Hello opportunity…"

One of the Grass-nin, a redhead girl not unlike Karui, immediately looked at him, and he reconsidered his options and ducked down. "Dang…lost the element of surprise…"

Looking away from Omoi the redhead kunoichi spoke up to her teammates. "He's not interested, so let's keep going."

Her teammates, a pair of young men, Hanataro and Yamada, looked to each other and laughed. Thanks to Karin's ability, they'd been able to not only avoid enemy teams and the Naruto Clones, but come across one of the teams annihilated by that creepy Sand Genin who–according to her senses was way ahead of them–and acquire their scroll. While it bothered her that they'd just wipe out another team, those Sand guys were so far ahead they were nothing to worry about. Barring some kind of disaster, it was smooth sailing to the Tower; they'd probably make it there by the end of the night.

Karin then sensed something on the path ahead. "Guys something's coming this way. It's a kunoichi, alone."

Stumbling out of the trees was a kunoichi that Karin quickly identified as that mess of a girl from Sasuke Uchiha's team. Spotting them she quickly raised her hands. "Please don't hurt me! I'm lost and I can't find my teammates!"

Were Karin any better at her ability, she'd be able to determine if she was lying or not. Nevertheless, as a sign of compassion, Karin looked to Hanataro and Yamada. "She looks like she's been out here on her own for a while. What do we do?"

Her fellow Grass-nin looked to each other and then back to Karin. "Do you sense anyone else around, an ambush?"

"The closest I can sense are those Cloud Ninja back across the stream and they're busying themselves. I think she might really be alone." Karin considered. Though, something didn't make sense with that. If this girl was on Sasuke's team, how could she fall behind? Or did something happen to him?

At that moment, Shiho smiled, and a smoke bomb fell from the trees and exploded among the Kusagakure Ninja. As they coughed and tried to get out of the smoke, Idate fell from the sky and performed a spinning kick that knocked Hanataro out cold. As Yamada heard his friend go down, Shiho came into the smoke and connected a kick to his head, dropping him like a ton of bricks.

"Hanataro? Yamada?" Karin squeaked before she felt a familiar presence through the smoke. Faster than she could act, she was pulled into an embrace by Sasuke, and the smoke began to clear. "Eep!"

As the smoke cleared, Sasuke reached up and caressed the surprised girl's face, causing her to freeze up. "Hey."

"H-Hey…" Karin squeaked back as she stared up at him. _"Wow he's so hot, he's so hot, he's so hot, he's so hot, he's so hot…"_

Sasuke could read her like a book, he long knew by now, what a girl in awe looked like. "Sorry I had to do that to you, but that ability of yours kept confounding us. It must be pretty cool to be a Sensor."

Karin was further amazed. "You…how'd you know?"

"The way you'd avoid other teams, and those clones running around, it was pretty obvious that you could see them coming even without a Byakugan or a Sharingan. Yours are still pretty, though…" He traced a finger just under her right eye for emphasis, and then slid his whole palm against her cheek. Karin's knees became weak.

"T-thank you…" She barely managed, as Sasuke smiled and began to lean closer. She was immediately mesmerized.

"Don't take this personally…" He said as he activated the Sharingan. "But I'm going to take your scrolls and you're going to fail this test. I won't leave you empty handed, though."

He kissed her deeply, and she practically melted in his arms. Behind him, Idate folded his hands behind his head and laughed. "Man, he always does this."

"This is why I can't stand guys like him." Shiho added. She did, however, envy a girl receiving a kiss from such a good-looking guy.

Slowly, Sasuke pulled away from the kiss, and placed Karin under a genjutsu before picking her up off the ground. "Let's stash them somewhere safe for them to wake up."

Idate nodded and easily hefted up both Hanataro and Yamada. "So what kind of genjutsu did you put her under?"

Sasuke grinned. "Oh, she's going a little further than kissing in her dream."

"P-pervert…" Shiho said, her face reddening however at how far Sasuke possibly meant by "a little further".

The arrival of Anko, however, dispelled the light atmosphere, when she arrived with a very serious look on her face and two ANBU at her flanks. Sasuke frowned when the proctor of the exam walked up to them. "Anko-sensei, what is the matter?"

"You three, have any of you encountered your sensei at all in the forest?" Anko asked.

Sasuke shook his head, Idate as well. "Aoi-sensei, why would he be here?"

"Is something wrong?" Shiho asked.

Anko nodded. "I wish I didn't have to tell you this, but Aoi Rokusho has just stolen a dangerous weapon and has fled into this forest."

Team One froze in disbelief and shock at the news.

* * *

It was an hour after the Leaf ambush on Grass that Team Seven, now disguised as ninja from Iwagakure, made their way down the path approaching the stream. Thanks to Naruto's relentless Shadow Clone attacks, they had worn down opposing teams enough to make collecting Scrolls easy. However, they had lingered a little too long getting their newly acquired Iwagakure threads and it was past dark.

"So wait, in Iwagakure they can fly?" Sakura asked Sai, who nodded in response. "No way…"

"It's true, the Tsuchikage has the ability to fly, and allow others to." Sai replied. "Far as I have heard, he is the only one able to."

"Where did you hear this from?" Sakura asked.

"My old class." Sai vaguely answered.

Sakura huffed. "We didn't learn any of that in the Academy…maybe I should've gone to your class…"

Sai smiled serenely. "You would've hated it."

Naruto smelled the air. "You guys, I smell food."

His stomach growled at that. Although he'd been pacing himself creating clones, the process had eaten up enough of his boundless chakra to get his stomach rumbling. He looked to his teammates. "Some ninja set up a camp nearby."

Creating a drawing of a bird, Sai quickly sent it flying off into the trees. A moment later it returned and he captured it before crushing it into his palm. "There are two ninja preparing a meal. It's too dark to tell what village they're from and I could not locate the third."

"Probably close." Naruto looked over towards the stream. "I'll go look by the water, you guys let's try a diplomatic approach."

Both Sai and Sakura agreed, it was too late for a fight. If they could negotiate some food and shelter for a scroll, then it'd be better for them. Besides, they could always backstab them during the night. Splitting up, Naruto headed for the river, while Sakura and Sai headed for the campsite. Stealthy as a Ninja ought to be Naruto took to the trees and reached the stream. Thanks to the low ambient light, he was able to make out a figure bathing in the gently flowing stream.

_"What's this…?"_ Moving closer to a branch overlooking the edge of the stream, Naruto stopped and stared with wide eyes when he caught sight of the ninja bathing. Standing to her knees in the water, naked as the day she was born, Samui tilted her head back as she poured a bucket of water over herself to wash away the dirt, grime, and suds-free soap she had used to wash her body.

"Whoa…" Naruto barely whispered as his gaze focused squarely on Samui's chest. _"They have to be as big as Hinata's, maybe even bigger!"_

And that said a lot, Hinata was pretty busty under that jacket she wore on missions. It was far more noticeable when she had her kimono or was going around in just a shirt or pants. But still, this girl was just…damn. Naruto thanked and praised the Gods for his continued fortune, but the only one who happened to be listening was a trickster God who was as cruel as he was funny. The branch broke right under Naruto and with a cry he fell into the stream…and right on Samui.

"…Airbags…" Naruto blinked and looked up from the soft, warm mounds his head had come to rest against after his fall, and he found himself staring into the face a very pissed off Samui. "…Uh oh…"

His face badly bruised, an eye swollen shut, and numerous cartoony bumps poking through his hair, Naruto was seated with the rest of Team Seven moments later, nursing the bowl of fish stew that Karui prepared. Across the fire, Samui was cool, almost detached–save for a slight flush that painted her cheeks.

"You know, these Konoha guys aren't so bad." Omoi said as he tossed up and caught the scroll. "A free scroll to pass this stupid test and go on to the next one, and all it cost us was some dinner."

Sakura was looking at Omoi and considering going black to see if it was truly possible to go back, but she was wise to make no mention of it, lest Sai wreck her then and there. "Well, after Naruto violated your leader's privacy like he did, it's really only polite."

Sai envied Naruto. Thanks to exposure to Naruto and the women they've met so far on his adventures he was finding that he liked girls. Specifically he liked girls with breasts, the bigger the better in his eyes. Sakura looked over at Sai, and felt compelled to hit him for some reason.

"Well, it wasn't like he knew that she was there." Karui said. "So we can forgive him, can't we Samui?"

Samui merely huffed, and decided to change the subject to get away from it. "I'm curious, as to how you're able to manage it."

"Manage what?" Sakura asked.

"Your clone trick." Samui clarified.

Naruto looked up from his bowl of stew, and briefly wished it was ramen before answering. "That's a secret, I guess."

"Fair enough, but I've already shown you a couple of secrets, don't you think?" Samui pointed out, as she pushed her chest out for emphasis. Naruto looked away from her. "What?"

"It's nothing, I'm just wary of Kumogakure ninja." Naruto replied.

"Why?" Karui asked as she tensed up a little with her friends.

Naruto shook his head. "Well, I don't have anything personal against you. But someone I know has bad blood with Cloud Ninja."

Karui relaxed a little bit. All three Genin knew who he was talking about. "We know, that Hyuga girl, right? Well, you can't blame us for that…we were little then too."

"I know, I know, and I don't blame you." Naruto responded. "Hinata though…"

Sakura looked between Naruto and the Cloud kids. "Wait, what happened with Hinata?"

"It's not something I can freely tell, it's a Hyuga thing." Naruto then looked to Samui and her friends.

Samui looked to Karui, as did Omoi. Sighing, Karui explained Kumogakure's side of the story–at least far as she knew. "About nine years ago Kumogakure and Konoha signed a peace treaty, and then right after one of Kumogakure's ninja allegedly tried to make off with Hinata for her Byakugan. There was a big scandal after and the war almost kicked off again. I don't know much after that."

"That's terrible." Sakura murmured.

Sai then spoke. "Kumogakure has a habit of ruining peace treaties."

Samui soured at that. "That's all in the past."

"That's correct." Naruto said. "And when I become Hokage it's going to stay in the past."

Omoi hummed. "You want to be Hokage?"

"Well he's got the best shot at it being the Hokage's ward and all." Karui pointed out.

It was Naruto's turn to sour and he shook his head. "Any ninja has the best shot to be Kage. It's not an issue of who raised you; all that matters is your willingness to protect your village and your people with everything you have–even if it costs you your life. That's one of only three things the Hokage has ever directly taught me as a Ninja."

Karui smiled. "I like that way of thinking, Naruto."

"Thanks…" Naruto then saw something strange through one of his few remaining clones. "…Wait, what?"

He'd been feeling his clones buy it throughout most of the day and had long gotten used to their horrible demises. However, this one was entirely different because of what it had seen. It wasn't a Genin that had taken this clone, but a Jonin, and one that Naruto readily recognized. But why would Aoi Rokusho be out in the woods?

Another clone then was eliminated, and then Naruto saw it. "That's not right."

The other Genin stared at Naruto, with Sakura speaking up. "Naruto, what is it?"

Naruto got up. "Something's wrong, there's a Jonin here and he has something that he's not supposed to."

"A Jonin is here?" Omoi groaned. "Great, we're going to die…"

Sakura and Sai got up as well. "Did you see what Jonin it was?"

"It's Aoi-sensei, and he has the Sword of the Thunder God." Naruto replied and immediately he caught the Kumogakure team's attention.

"Are you going after him?" Karui asked.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah we are that man just robbed a grave."

Samui, Karui, and Omoi exchanged looks before Samui spoke up. "We're going to back you up then."

Sai frowned; he immediately saw their interest in the crisis. "That's unnecessary."

"Sai, let them come along." Naruto said as he jumped up into the trees overhead. "He's about a kilometer and a half away, come on!"

After putting out their fire and quickly finishing their food, both teams took off after Naruto and headed in the direction he indicated where a noticeable red glow was noticeable. The Sword of the Thunder God was a dangerous weapon in the hands of one not used to wielding such a weapon, and its careless use thus sparked a blaze.

* * *

"This sword…it's certainly something…" Aoi Rokusho declared as he swung it through a tree and watched the trunk ignite as it toppled over. Even though he wasn't a swordsman, this sword was more than enough for the useless ANBU who had attempted to stop him to get here, and obviously the Genin who had the misfortune to cross his path. The ease at which this sword sliced through anything was almost frightening.

Extinguishing the blade, he kept moving. Not much further and he'd be meeting the man who wanted the sword. It had been quite a risk to get it, but to find what Mizuki learned it was a small price to pay. Mizuki…he wasn't a particularly close friend, but they shared the same dreams of wealth and power and spoke big of being more than instructors though until that night they had never considered taking that actual step to act.

_"Aoi…I'm leaving this rotten village."_

_"Why? Sick of being stuck in Iruka's shadow?"_

_"No…well yes I am, but there's something I found out…something big…"_

_"What did you find out?"_

_"I can't say…but it's huge, it could very well ruin Konoha, or at least Sarutobi."_

Two days later, Mizuki was dead. Tortured and executed by ANBU for treason in the theft of the scroll and attempting to kill the Hokage's ward. Had Mizuki not confided with Aoi that night, he probably would not be here now, but whatever truth Mizuki had found was worth dying for. It only took a little digging to figure out where Mizuki had gone, and confront the person who learned the truth.

_"Those robes…you're…"_

_"Aoi Rokusho, I most certainly was not expecting you."_

_"If it involves you…then it must be something very big. What did Mizuki learn from you? What is so valuable that he was ready to get killed for it?"_

_"So you want to learn Sarutobi's dirty little secret? Well…you're going to have to prove your worth to me."_

_"What do you want?"_

So here he was, with a sword of the Second in his hands and a small pile of bodies behind him. Even if he wanted to go back, he couldn't. That was fine by him, thanks to that over achiever Sasuke and his family, his so-called Genin team was a glorified babysitting service and it didn't pay as well as one would expect. Landing on a branch, he reignited the sword and swung it, the trail of light left behind by the blade deflecting the kunai thrown at him.

"Anko Mitarashi, I didn't think you'd catch up with me so quickly." He said as he looked at the figure that landed on an opposing tree branch.

"I'm a lot faster than you, Rokusho." Anko warned as she readied another kunai. "Put down the sword and I'll kill you quickly."

Aoi laughed and readied the sword. "The only quick death I can volunteer is yours…and maybe theirs."

He quickly slashed through the two ANBU that had come at him, aiming blades for his vitals. However, they exploded into logs that allowed Anko to unleash a barrage of shuriken for Aoi. Swinging the blade again, he generated a blast of electricity that jumped across the metal projectiles before exploding the branch that Anko had landed on.

Anko was gone before the blast reached her and she could hear the hum of the electric sword moving through the air before she could see it through the dense leaves, homing in on her. Grabbing Aoi's arm, she vaulted over him in mid air and began performing hand seals.

"Great Breakthrough!" Anko declared before blasting Aoi and his sword into the ground with a loud thud.

Lying on the ground, Aoi recovered and spun to his feet before dodging the ninjato of the ANBU soldiers that attacked next. As he jumped back, he quickly drew his second weapon, an umbrella, and opened it before holding it above his head. "Gentlemen…gentlemen…do we really have to fight like this?"

Anko landed behind him. "Did you really have to kill all of those people, Rokusho?"

Readying the sword, Aoi smirked. "No, not really."

"Bastard!" One of the ANBU yelled before Anko suddenly clutched at the back of her neck and fell to her knees. "Anko!"

Aoi threw his umbrella into the air, and from underneath it rained hundreds of poisonous senbon needles, which quickly found their mark in the surprised ANBU. As they collapsed under the assault, Aoi reached up and caught the umbrella as it came back down. Strange, it wasn't as heavy as it was when it came down…

A ninjato suddenly pierced the umbrella, and Aoi just managed to get clear of it. Leaping off the umbrella, Sasuke landed and pointed his blade at Aoi. His Sharingan was activated, and he was furious. "Sensei…what the Hell are you doing?"

Idate and Shiho immediately arrived on the scene, with the latter calling out. "Sasuke, be careful!"

"Shiho, Idate, help Anko and the others!" He turned his attention to Aoi as his teammates unquestionably obeyed. "Answer me, Sensei!"

Aoi tossed aside his umbrella, knowing that it would be useless against the Sharingan. "I'm in search of the truth, Sasuke."

Sasuke tensed. "What truth?"

"Don't concern yourself with questions you won't live to have answered." Aoi said. "You should not have come here, now you're going to die pathetically."

"You're no good with a sword." Sasuke warned. "If you attack me, Sensei I will kill you. I do not want to do that!"

Aoi took the Sword of the Thunder God in both hands, and laughed smugly. "Do you really have the nerve to kill your own teacher, Sasuke, after I took such great care raising you?"

Sasuke tightened the grip of his ninjato as Aoi continued. "I've killed ANBU more skilled than you on my way here, and mowed down a few hapless Genin like they were nothing with this blade. What makes you any different?"

He charged swiftly, and both became barely discernible blurs against the ambient glow created by the growing blaze in the forest. Shiho and Idate could only see the movement of the Sword of the Thunder God as both attempted to slice each other up with a barrage of swift movement. It ended with a spray of blood, as Sasuke slashed across Aoi's chest, before he shot forward and drove the blade through it.

The entire fight took three seconds.

Letting go of the blade to leave it in Aoi's chest, Sasuke stepped back as his fatally wounded teacher stumbled back and fell to his knees, unable to breathe because of the blood filling his ruined lungs. Shiho covered her mouth, horrified, as Idate looked away.

"Ha…" Blood began to dribble from Aoi's mouth, and he stared in horror at Sasuke. "…You little piece of shit…how could I lose to you…?"

His vision coming in and out of focus, he stared at Sasuke's face, and then at his eyes. "…Those eyes…damn those eyes…"

Aoi then coughed up blood, and slumped forward, as he coughed out his last. As blood began to pool from Aoi's body, Sasuke fell backward, falling against a tree as the adrenaline crashed from his body and his Sharingan deactivated. In seconds, he had just killed his own teacher. "A-Aoi-sensei…"

He reached up to his face, and felt liquid there. Pulling his hand back, he found it covered in blood, Aoi's blood. "S-Sensei…I…"

Dropping from the trees, a long-haired Genin from Kusagakure landed in front of Sasuke and Aoi. Staring down at the bloody scene, the ninja smiled when Sasuke looked over towards him. "Now's not the time to give in to despair."

"Who the Hell is this guy?" Idate said as he got up to his feet.

Anko, at his side, looked up and grimaced as from the trees behind the Grass-nin, a gigantic snake emerged and let out a threatening hiss. "Oh no…so it is why came into these woods. Sasuke! You kids get out of here! This is an opponent you can't beat!"

Sasuke looked down at Aoi's body, and back up at the ninja and the giant snake–both eying him up like he was prey. Anko managed to get back up despite the intense pain coming from her neck, and readied another kunai. "Why?"

Shiho and Idate looked between Anko and the newcomer as his smile grew frightening.

"What do you want here, Orochimaru!" Anko yelled out.

Reaching up, the ninja grasped his face, and tore it away, revealing the pale visage of the Legendary Snake Sannin himself. Letting the rotted flesh slip from his fingers, he looked upon the group as a whole and replied. "It has been a long time and Konoha has grown complacent. I think it's as fine as time as any…"

He licked his lips.

"…To reintroduce you all to fear."

The blaze threatening the Forest of Death was growing as Team Seven and the Kumogakure Teams continued on, the flames casting their shadows against the ancient trees that grew within. Over the distant roar of the intensifying blaze, new sounds that troubled both teams sounded: The thunderous clashes of vicious combat.

"Whatever it is, it's not part of the test…" Naruto said, reflecting the very thought running through the minds of all of the Genin as they rushed onward.

* * *

A/N: What, I hope nobody was reading this expecting Orochimaru to be a pussy. After all, he was Sarutobi's student...


	7. Exam Overdrive 3

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the last man standing. Let the battle begin.

**And then suddenly, Ninjas!**  
Exam Overdrive 3

_And you can't smell your own shit on your knees._

**[6.]**

"What's the matter, Sasuke?"

Seven year old Sasuke looked up to Aoi, his instructor in the academy. The teacher had found Sasuke alone on the swing away from the other children practicing their basic techniques. With a sad look on his face, Sasuke looked back down at the ground and kicked his feet back and forth.

"I don't want to talk about it." Sasuke said, before Aoi rested his hands on his shoulders and gave him a little push. "Ha?"

"Come on, Sasuke-kun. Don't be a stick in the mud, what's the matter?" Aoi said as he kept pushing him on the swing. "If you don't tell me, I'll stop."

Sasuke pouted and looked at the ground. "You can go ahead and stop…"

Aoi pushed him a little higher. "Are you sure?"

Sasuke tightened his grip, but didn't give in. "Uh huh…"

"Are you really sure?" Sasuke went up even higher, and he smiled a little bit.

"Higher." He requested.

Aoi laughed and slowed Sasuke down. "Only if you tell me what's wrong, Sasuke-kun."

Kicking to remain swinging, Sasuke explained. "I did the Great Fireball Jutsu, and my Dad was really proud of me…but I haven't been able to do it again and I want to show my big brother and Mom."

Aoi laughed. "Is that all? That doesn't seem too bad."

He resumed pushing Sasuke. "Okay, I'll help you perfect it if you like. I'll even show you a few other tricks to show off to your family with, what do you say?"

"Really?" Sasuke asked as he went up high, nearly level with the branch the swing was suspended from.

Aoi nodded and smiled. "You bet. I'm going to see to it that you become a great Ninja, Sasuke-kun, I'm going to see you become Hokage!"

"Yeah, Hokage!" Sasuke cheered as Aoi stepped back and let him swing on his own. "I'm going to be the greatest Ninja ever, just you watch, Sensei!"

_"Just you watch…!"_

_"…Sensei…"_

The clang of metal striking metal sounded above Sasuke's head, as Anko overcame the pain she was under and attacked Orochimaru, who effortlessly blocked her kunai with his own blade. Both ninja leaped from each other, with Orochimaru landing in front of a tree and throwing his kunai to deflect Anko's. As Anko rushed the Snake Sannin and yelled orders to Shiho and Idate, Sasuke continued staring at Aoi's corpse.

"S-Sensei…" He barely choked out before Idate suddenly grabbed him and leaped clear of the giant snake that had been sizing him up the entire time. Landing next to Shiho, Idate looked up at the snake as Anko suddenly appeared in front of them, and Orochimaru appeared atop the snake's head.

Sasuke looked from Orochimaru and Anko to his teammates, Shiho was petrified, unsure of what to do in the face of the Snake Sannin. Idate was holding it together, but only barely so. This was bad, they were prodigies and they had excellent cohesion as a team yes, but this was still Orochimaru, one of the most powerful Ninja in the world! Their only chance was Anko, who was barely standing as she fired off a verbal exchange with Orochimaru.

"Why are you here? Are you after the Hokage?" Sasuke looked up when he heard Anko's question.

Orochimaru smiled. "Oh, I'm not ready to kill the old monkey just yet. At the moment, all I'm here for is to recruit an extremely talented Ninja."

What was he talking about? Sasuke wondered. Anko asked as much. "What do you mean?"

"If it's not so obvious to you, then you're a poor Ninja." Orochimaru taunted lightly, before he leaped off the snake and into the shadows. Immediately his snake charged, and Anko and Team One scattered to get clear. As Idate and Sasuke landed, the Snake immediately turned its attention to Shiho, who had gone in another direction.

"Shiho!" Idate let Sasuke go and became a blur, kicking up grass and dirt behind him as he snatched his teammate clear of the Snake's jaws. Left alone, Sasuke felt relief to see Idate and Shiho both fine, until he felt the presence of Orochimaru directly behind him. His eyes widening, he looked back as the Snake Sannin opened his mouth and lunged to bite into his neck at the shoulder.

"SHANNARO!" With her battle cry, Sakura's flying kick impacted with Orochimaru's face and sent him tumbling head over heels into and through a tree. Landing and skidding to a halt, she got up and looked back at Sasuke. "Are you alright, Sasuke?"

"S-Sakura…" Sasuke stared in disbelief at the cheerful pinkhead. Did she even realize who she had just kicked? A loud impact behind him sounded, and he turned back to find a giant dragon made of ink biting into the giant snake and slamming it up against a tree. A flash of steel immediately followed, and the snake and the tree behind it were cut clean through by a clean double slash from both Karui and Omoi–the two Genin coming to a landing with Anko and Idate and Shiho respectively.

Samui and Sai joined Sakura in covering Sasuke. The tree that Orochimaru had gone through toppled, and he got up to his feet, laughing ominously. "Oh, I am impressed at your bravery."

Sakura stared at him. "Who the Hell is that guy?"

Samui stiffened and readied her blade, a quickly drawn tanto. "That's freaking Orochimaru, what the Hell is he doing here?"

Sakura paled. "Wait, Orochimaru?"

"That's correct." Orochimaru replied. "I must say, I'm impressed little girl. Not many are so foolish or brave to attack me head on, and you happen to be both."

Sasuke looked over to Sakura. Just like Gai and Lee were known to, she simply attacked without visually confirming the target. Yes, she was definitely more foolish than brave.

Orochimaru began walking towards the group. "Now then…where were we, Sasuke?"

He began to perform the necessary hand seals, when hands and arms erupted from underground, grabbing at his ankles feet, and legs. Orochimaru looked down at the limbs holding him and spied the orange jacket sleeves on them. "Why if it isn't the Hokage's favorite, Naruto Uzumaki."

High up in the trees, underneath the smoke-obscured moon, Naruto stared down at Orochimaru as he held his thumb up to his lip and bit down on it to draw blood. Rather than go into a speech, he drew a line of blood on his arm.

"Summoning Jutsu!"

A puff of smoke gave way to a large, white haired monkey in Ninja Attire standing atop the branch at his side. Looking to Naruto, Monkey King Enma sneered. "Brat, you have a lot of nerve summoning me…"

He then looked down at Orochimaru, and seeing no sign of Sarutobi around, smiled. "But all is forgiven!"

Orochimaru's brows actually rose in surprise at the sight, and he smiled even as more of Naruto's clones grasped onto him to hold him in place. "Summoning jutsu, after all of these Shadow Clones, you must be tired, ne Naruto-kun?"

"Not one bit." Naruto replied before he looked to Enma. "Let's go!"

Enma nodded, and quickly transformed into a staff, which Naruto caught and spun before hoisting it up and taking aim at Orochimaru. "Forgive me for not having the old man's sentimentality, Snake Face!"

He threw Enma as hard as he could at Orochimaru, who smiled as the staff accelerated towards him and began to perform a one handed seal. His smile shrank however as the staff grew closer, and much, much, much larger. By the time it hit him at nearly a hundred miles per hour it was as big around as some of the forest's trees, crushing him and the clones holding him under its weight. To add further injury to insult, the numerous explosive tags worn by the Naruto clones went off, creating a large but muffled explosion underneath the staff and forming a large crater around the point of impact.

Team Samui and Team One's members could only stare in disbelief at what happened, as Naruto came to a landing with Sai and Sakura. For their merit, the two other members of team Seven were surprised too. Looking back to his teammates, Naruto smiled. "The other thing the old man taught me was Summoning Jutsu."

Enma returned to his monkey form, and landed at Naruto's side. Walking over to the crater, Anko stopped and stared at the sight of Orochimaru's mangled body. "No way…there is no freaking way…"

She jumped down and slid over to Orochimaru's body. "He's…he's really…"

She turned and looked up at Naruto. "You killed him."

Naruto blinked. "Wait, I did what?"

Samui looked over at Naruto. "He did what?"

"He did what?" Idate and Shiho shouted together.

"This is impossible…" Anko said as she examined his remains quickly. It wasn't a genjutsu, or a body double. He even had the Akatsuki ring on his little finger. Standing up, she shook her head in amazement.

Sakura looked over to Naruto. "Just like that, you killed him."

"No…this isn't right." Anko said. "A ninja of his caliber wouldn't be killed by something like this."

"Hey!" Naruto shouted, feeling a little burned by that assessment.

"Damn it…this situation is already way out of control. Look, if you have your scrolls, go straight to the tower while we try to sort this out, okay?" Anko ordered. "ANBU should be catching up now to help put out the fire, we have to seriously figure out what the Hell just happened."

She turned back to Orochimaru's body and searched around. She really couldn't sense him anymore; her cursed seal wasn't even reacting! Shaking her head again, she looked to the Genin. "Get going!"

Samui didn't need to be told twice. Looking over to Naruto, she let out a hum before signaling to Omoi and Karui to follow her. As they took off into the trees, Sai stepped over to Naruto, Anko was right, there was no way it could've been this easy. Something was missing here, but that could be explored later. For the moment, his focus was on Naruto. He carried enough chakra to summon Enma after the effort he expended. There was no way that was anything resembling natural.

"Sarutobi's not going to be happy with this." Enma smirked. "But I certainly am. Well done, boy."

With that, Enma vanished, leaving Team Seven and Team One. Turning to face Sasuke, Naruto beamed. "Pretty impressive, wasn't it?"

Sasuke didn't answer, as he looked back over to Aoi's body. Seeing it, Naruto's smile vanished, and he grew somber. "Oh…I'm sorry…"

Turning away, Sasuke began to walking. "Don't, Naruto. He was a traitor…"

Even Sai could tell that he was pushing everyone away with that. Naruto, however, bit his tongue and said nothing else as Idate and Shiho followed him towards the tower. Sakura brought her hand over her mouth, as she looked from Aoi to Sasuke. That was his ninjato in his teacher's chest. Naruto shook his head, and then began walking for the tower as well.

With the last of the Genin gone, Anko walked over and picked up the Sword of the Thunder God, before stashing it away. She looked down at Aoi, and shook her head. "Whatever truth you were looking for, was it worth throwing everything away, even your own students?"

* * *

Summoning Enma had taken a lot out of Naruto, more than he had anticipated, so Team Seven found a safe little hide away underneath a strong and sturdy tree to get some sleep. Naruto was out within moments, leaving Sakura, and Sai to alternate on guard duty. It was close to dawn but the sky had not started brightening yet, when Sakura awoke Sai for his shift and bedded down herself. An hour later, as the sky grew a shade lighter to the East, Sai looked towards it, and then to his slumbering teammates.

Sakura, he had learned back in Tsunami's home, was a very rough sleeper, often mumbling in her sleep, and even punching and kicking anything within reach. It was for that reason she slept on the other side of their little burrow, far from anyone else. It also worked to his advantage, as it meant Naruto was unguarded.

Danzo's orders were simple: determine what Sarutobi's interest in Naruto was. Specifically, if Naruto began to exhibit unusual behavior, examine his body to determine if he was the Container of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox. Creeping over to his teammate, Sai looked over to Sakura to ensure she didn't wake up, before he poked Naruto with a sedative to ensure he remained asleep.

"Forgive me, Naruto…" He whispered nigh-inaudibly as he unzipped Naruto's jacket and opened it. With no reaction from him, Sai pushed up his t-shirt and stared at his stomach in surprise. He had nearly no excess body fat, his stomach was perfectly flat. Reaching out, he rested his hand on Naruto's stomach and focused. If Naruto was the container, the seal would appear on his stomach.

"Excuse me, what the fuck are you doing?" A sleepy Sakura asked. Sai froze, and looked over at Sakura, who was looking from Sai, to Naruto, and to where his hand was. Well, this was awkward.

Sakura sat up, and she watched as Sai quickly drew his hand away from Naruto's stomach. Of course, this being Sakura, as Sai accurately predicted she drew the wrong conclusion. "Well, this explains everything."

Sai thought fast, and immediately replied. "Well, time spent around you I thought I'd weigh my other options."

He was promptly punched out of the burrow, and decided to play dead until sunrise. If it diverted Sakura's attention, then he'd let her have this. He also reminded himself to sedate Sakura as well next time, to avoid this embarrassment.

Later that morning, with both scrolls and a disguise taken from some very, very unlucky Valley Genin, Team Seven was quiet as they came within sight of the tower. Naruto was completely unaware of the morning incident, while Sakura pushed it out of mind save for the occasional odd look directed at Sai. Between Sasuke killing his teacher turned traitor, and Naruto killing _the_ Orochimaru, no one knew what to think. They couldn't help but feel kind of helpless at how swiftly everything had happened. Such was the life of a Ninja, however, as Sai mused. A lowly Genin can kill a Kage, if everything goes right…or wrong.

"Do you think they'll cancel the exams? Who knows what could've happened out there, with Orochimaru and Aoi-sensei running around the woods like that." Sakura asked.

Sai rubbed his chin. "Given that waivers were signed by everyone involved, it's likely they won't. Konoha wasn't obligated to protect anyone once they entered the forest until the conclusion of the exam, and that extends to unforeseen variables."

"That doesn't sound right to me." Naruto argued, but nevertheless he didn't press an argument. He was much too concerned about Sasuke. Aoi was Sasuke's favorite teacher in the Academy, and from what he saw after he graduated, Sasuke and Aoi got along almost as closely as he and Asuma did. To have to kill your own teacher, it must've destroyed him.

Sakura looked up, and noticed smoke. "Hey, something's burning up ahead."

Naruto tensed. "It's probably a trap."

When they got closer to the smoke, however, they found both Team Eight and Team Ten on the scene. Both teams had their scrolls, and they were gathered around three more Genin who were sitting on the ground. On closer inspection, Team Seven identified them as the Sound Genin from the first test. Naruto called over to Hinata. "Hey Hinata, what happened?"

Hinata looked back at Naruto, her face concealed by a Fox Mask not unlike an ANBU operative save for being a dark, dull shade of gray to denote it as not a member of the organization. "Naruto-san, it's good to see you're safe."

She looked down at the Sound Genin. "We came across these three on our way here, something happened to them."

"Yeah, and whatever that something did, also did that." Shikamaru muttered as he pointed at the cause of the smoke, Team Seven stopped, and stared in disbelief at a veritable lake of black fire that was hotly burning the forest beyond the clearing.

"Is that…fire?" Sakura asked.

"It most certainly is Forehead." Ino almost found out the hard way, nearly stepping into the blaze because its black color made it undetectable in the low morning light.

"We've tried everything to put it out, and even Hinata's jutsu just evaporated before it hit." Shino assessed.

Sai stared at the fire; he knew what it was, the Black Flame, Amaterasu. One would need _those_ eyes to activate it, and only one person in this entire forest could have possibly done it. Looking to his teammates, he decided it would be wiser to report this to Danzo upon reaching the tower before informing anyone else.

"It's pretty slow to burn though, but it'll be a pain if someone doesn't take care of it." Shikamaru said.

Naruto frowned. "I'd try to seal it, but I'm too tired and that's a lot of fire."

Chouji, who was craving some food at the moment, wished he had something to try cooking over it. "Guess we have to go around huh?"

Sakura then knelt down and checked the Sound Genin. "What about these guys?"

"What or whoever did this, they didn't stand a chance against." Hinata said as she indicated Zaku, who had burns over his arm from exposure to Amaterasu's heat. If he had actually touched the flames, he would not have an arm right now were he lucky. She waved her hand in front of his face, and his glazed, slightly twitching eyes didn't respond.

She looked over to his team mates, who were in identical states. "There's nothing we can do for these people, they're going to need professional medical attention."

Sakura nodded, there were still another four days left in the exam, too. Naruto looked at the black fire, and then to the three. "Let's take them with us."

Kiba looked over at Naruto. "What? Why?"

"They won't survive out here even if they come out of it anytime soon; being under a Genjutsu like this for this long does a lot of damage to you." Naruto explained. "I'd like to know who did this, in case they pass the test too…if they were a part of it, at least."

Shino nodded. "That's a good idea. Any information they have may be valuable."

"Yeah, but anybody who takes them with them is going to be bogged down and there's still a ways to go." Shikamaru pointed out. "And we're kind of worn down from idiots trying to cop our scrolls."

Hinata looked to Naruto. "We can take them if you wish, Naruto-san. We acquired our scrolls easily and have plenty of strength to spare."

Naruto nodded. "Just in case, we'll tag along with you and make our way over there together."

"It's fine by me." Kiba said. "I'd like to coast through the rest of this exam."

Sakura looked to Ino and her team. "So, swine, are you coming along too?"

"We may as well. We have our scrolls too." Ino sad as the group formed up.

With Hinata carrying Kin, Shino lugging Dosu, and Kiba dragging Zaku, the three Genin teams of Konoha began their trek towards the tower. Naruto shelved the night before for later, discussing it in the open like this would do them no good, so he focused on the road ahead and what kind of opponents they would have to fight, like those Cloud Genin.

That reminded him. "Oh yeah, Hinata guess what?"

Hinata turned her head. "Yes Naruto-san?"

"Yesterday we ran into the Kumogakure Team and their leader has huge breasts." Naruto said eagerly, and Kiba just turned stared at him in disbelief that grew as he kept talking. "They were as big as yours and really soft."

Hinata nodded. "Oh, the blonde Cloud Nin, do you really think hers are as large as mine? I thought hers were a little bigger."

Naruto hummed. "You didn't bother to check?"

Hinata laughed. "I didn't feel very intimidated. After all, I'm younger than her."

"Oh. Well anyway, hers were really awesome; I just thought you'd like to know that." Naruto said.

Chouji looked to Shikamaru, who was rolling his eyes at the exchange–while musing over that kunoichi's large breasts. "Hey, Kiba looks like he's about to have an aneurysm."

Indeed he did, as Akamaru worriedly inquired about Kiba's intense agitation. Shino smiled in amusement but let the high collar of his jacket hide it. Ino, who was also rather put off by Naruto being so crass, looked over to Sakura who was more annoyed by breast fixation. It didn't bother her too much though, once she learned Tsunade's secrets that would never be a problem again.

* * *

It was just around noon, when the Teams Seven, Eight, and Ten arrived at the tower. Their rescues were still deep under Genjutsu, and the forest had been strangely quiet, leading to an uneventful trek through the woods to their destination. When they entered the tower's lobby, they were met by Samui, Omoi, and Karui. Seeing her, Naruto waved and called to her before whispering aside to Hinata about the size of her breasts.

"My…they are large as mine." Hinata whispered, impressed.

Shikamaru looked over. "Don't get too comfy, guys. The exam is still going on and I don't think anyone said anything about the Tower being safe when we get there. There could be guys lurking here just wanting to thin us out to make the third exam easier."

"There was, but they all died." Samui revealed.

Naruto frowned. "Died?"

Samui looked over to a pair of doors leading out the lobby and into an auditorium within the tower. "Gaara killed almost all of them. Everyone else is hiding from him, including us. They're in that room back there."

Omoi nodded. "Yeah, we decided to stay way out of his way after that. The only people he seems to remotely tolerate breathing around him are that weird guy in black and the haughty bitch with them."

"Haughty?" Shikamaru asked.

Omoi popped a lollipop into his mouth. "Super haughty, she was nice enough to warn us about being around Gaara, though."

"Then she's not too bad." Ino said.

Omoi shook his head. "I don't know, she had that look like 'I don't want him to have all the fun' while she was warning us."

Shikamaru made a sound of disgust, and Naruto let out a chuckle. "I wouldn't worry too much; after Gaara those other two are jokes."

"Hey, I heard that you punk!" Kankuro called from beyond the door. Naruto just laughed.

Omoi meanwhile, gulped. "That means that…"

Temari called through the door. "Yeah, I heard that haughty bitch remark too."

Omoi bowed his head. "I'm so dead."

"We have four more days of putting up with this crap?" Chouji complained. "There had better be food somewhere."

Sakura smiled. "Don't you worry about that, Kiba and I can go hunting for some food and I'm a pretty good cook."

She immediately turned and raised her fist at Sai, stopping him just before he could open his mouth. Samui was in open agreement. "Fine by me, Karui is a good hunter too so I'll contribute her to the hunting party."

Karui nodded, before footsteps sounded from the hallway. The gathered teams looked over and found Sasuke, and he was looking much better than yesterday. Ino, who had no way of knowing what had happened, went immediately into her Sasuke-crazy mode, while Sakura remained a little more reserved.

"Sasuke!" She cheered as she went over to him. "You made it here too?"

Sasuke smiled and nodded. "Yes, it was no big deal really making it to the tower."

He looked over to the others. "You don't need to worry about food, you guys, Shiho and Idate and I got into the food stores kept here. There's more than enough for everyone here. Come this way."

Naruto and Sakura were worried, he was his jovial self again, like the night before hadn't happened at all. Naruto raised his hand as Sasuke turned to head back up the hall. "Sasuke…are you okay?"

Looking back to Naruto, Sasuke's smile dimmed a little. "I'm doing a lot better, thanks."

"How much better are you doing?" Sakura asked, and now everyone not directly involved was curious about whatever supposedly happened.

Sasuke noticed the incapacitated Sound Genin Naruto and his friends had brought with them. His smile returned, gaining a more sinister edge. "Like I said, I'm a lot better. Now hurry up, the food's getting cold."

He walked away, with Ino and then Chouji following immediately behind him. Shikamaru and all of Team Eight looked to Naruto, hoping that they'd get an explanation later, and Naruto promised them as much with a nod. Bringing up the rear of the group, Sai quietly mused to himself. Sasuke had indeed activated it, which meant that he had to report this to Danzo as soon as possible.

* * *

Four days later, the test ended. In actuality however, the test had ended the day before the actual end date with the arrival of the last team, Team Gai. All three members had taken it upon themselves to do some extra training fighting the fearsome wild animals and picking off other teams before heading for the tower. When it was all said and done and the smoke finally cleared, there were eight teams left. The Hokage was pleased.

"From Fifty-one to eight, I think this has been the best culling of the Chunin Exams yet." Sarutobi said to the gathered Leaf Jonin and Anko.

"So we're still continuing with the exam after everything that just happened?" Anko asked.

Sarutobi puffed from his pipe. "Of course, with that foolish pupil of mine taken care of, I see no reason why we cannot carry on with the next stage of the exams."

"But we don't know if he really is dead…this is Orochimaru we're talking about. I know him nearly as well as you, Hokage-sama; something like this couldn't have killed him." Anko argued.

Maito Gai spoke up. "We have his body, and all of the tests we've performed confirm that it is his and not a body double or anything to that extent."

Anko shook her head. "I can't shake that we're missing something, Hokage-sama…I just…I just refuse that it can be over that easily."

The nightmare that she suffered as his student couldn't be over just like that. She rested her palm on the cursed seal upon her neck. "Maybe it's a fake death? Kakashi reported something similar done to Zabuza…"

"Were that the case," Sarutobi said, "Then the autopsy I had performed on him under my supervision has made it a very real death."

No, she still refused to believe it. Gripping the curse seal, Anko took a deep breath. "Please be right, Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi smiled to the woman. "I want to be, now let's focus on more important matters at hand, like these preliminary exams. With most of them rookies, we'll have to explain to them to true purpose of these exams."

The Jonin students nodded, and like blurs they appeared in the arena where the eight teams of Genin were gathered. Also present were the two Jonin from the two foreign teams that had made it, a slender woman with long hair with a Otogakure forehead protector, and a muscular dark-skinned and sunglasses-wearing Ninja wearing the Kumogakure protector.

Stepping forward, Anko put on her usual attitude as she looked over the group. "First off, to you eight teams of the fifty-one who entered the Forest of Death? Congratulations on passing the second test of the Chunin Exams! That said, Hokage-sama is going to explain to you what happens next. Let the Hokage speak, and don't ask stupid questions, we're trying to hurry things along here."

The Genin paid close attention, as Sarutobi stepped up. "Welcome, all of you. Before I begin explaining the third test, let me explain to you the true purpose of these exams. 'Why do we have all of the Allied Villages performing this test together?' some of you may have asked this over the course of the test and I assure you there is a good reason."

The question had come up, in fact, as the Genin looked among each other while Sarutobi spoke. "These exams exist solely to serve as a substitute for war between the villages. That is where these exams come from, to serve as a chance for young warriors to show they have what it takes to move up to the next rank, show the leaders of these Elemental Countries which village has Ninja of any worth, and to show potential enemies the threat they may face in the future. You Genin who have made it this far have shown that you are skilled as a team and as soldiers in the field of battle, but the next step will show if you have the individual ability to be much more than just soldiers."

"That is to say," Sarutobi went on, "Whether or not you can be Chunin, leaders on the battlefield whose decisions and actions determine everything to the outcome of the battle to who loses a life. Those of you who cannot meet this challenge, you will learn on the field of battle first here in this arena, and in one month's time at the exam final."

"Hokage-sama, I think that's enough." A voice called out before another Ninja, wearing an ANBU mask, suddenly appeared in the room. "I can take over from here, if you like."

Sakura smiled big towards the newcomer as Sarutobi smirked and tipped down the brim of his hat in respect. "My apologies, I'll leave the next step to you."

Rising from his kneel, the ninja turned to the students. "As the Hokage implied, the next exam will be in one month. However, as there are far too many of you, we will be performing a preliminary exam here and now to thin your numbers out to something manageable."

The ANBU removed his mask. "I am your referee for the preliminary matches, and the proctor for the next exam, Kabuto Yakushi."

As the tension and excitement built up in the room, Kabuto smiled to the Genin. "Let's cut to the chase, shall we?"

**OMAKE!**

My name is Ravenbright Darksoul Uchiha, when I was an infant; Orochimaru kidnapped me and performed many experiments on me, splicing my genes so that I could have the Wood Release and the Lava Release elements. I am a Jonin in Konoha's ANBU, I am seventeen years old, I have black hair with red streaks in them, and green eyes but the left one is an always active Sharingan. My ANBU uniform is different from others; I prefer to wear a miniskirt with a red camouflage pattern design and a black tank top with a broken heart on the front. My mask is the snake, to signify my old ties to Orochimaru. My favorite food is Brussels sprouts and my favorite book is Icha Icha Paradise.

Currently I'm on a mission with ANBU members Cat and Eagle, investigating rumors that Akatsuki members have infiltrated Konoha and are now lurking about as part of the Chunin Exams. Cat is certain of it, but I know that they're here, and I know who it is. My curse seal, which Orochimaru gave to me as well, it's on my stomach, has been acting up ever since he appeared. Well, it was reacting, but it hasn't for over a day now.

"Snake." Cat says to me as we patrolled through the Forest of Death. "I just got a call from Weasel. A team has located something; we had better check it out."

Eagle and I agree to her and we head in the direction Weasel sent us. Weasel, my relative Itachi, is never wrong for there is something we do not expect to find.

"I don't believe it!" Eagle cries out.

"It's you!" Cat hisses in anger.

As our opponent turns to us, I draw my sword and coat it with lava. Those flowing robes, with the cloud print, they'll be a little scorched but they will look perfect mounted on my wall as a trophy. I leap into attack.

"DIE AKATSUKI!"

**[To Not Be Continued]

* * *

**A/N: Seriously, it won't.


	8. Exam Overdrive 4

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the last man standing. Let the battle begin.

**And then suddenly, Ninjas!**  
Exam Overdrive 4

_Pencils down…_

**[7.]**

Tenten of Team Gai was an experienced Genin whose specialty lay in weapons. Unlike Lee, who could break bones with a single punch, or Neji who could explode organs with a tap of his fingers, Tenten could throw a kunai from a hundred yards and hit a man between the eyes. From kunai to swords, to hammers, and to sickles…if it was a handheld implement of death she knew how to use it. Like Lee and Neji before her, she was entirely confident that in facing her opponent, her discipline, training, and experience would be the deciding factor for victory. It was.

Temari of Sunagakure, despite recovering from a concussion, beat her in a minute and ten seconds.

"That was…bad." Naruto judged as he stared down at Tenten, bent backwards over the back of Temari's closed fan and clearly unconscious. Kabuto called the fight in Temari's favor, while restricting the urge to laugh at how badly the loser was beaten.

Shino nodded in agreement. "Ino gave me a better fight and she ended up poisoning herself with her own kunai."

Hinata, still wearing her fox mask, let out a soft, derisive laugh. "Only a fool would expect the same strategy to work a third time after it failed twice."

While she felt bad for Tenten losing, and how cruel Temari treated her, Sakura had to agree. "More importantly, she allowed herself to be intimidated by her opponent. It was like Shikamaru said from the start."

"Another bad Ninja defeats herself." Shikamaru muttered.

Looking over at the weapons scattered around, and then to Tenten, Temari taunted her. "That was boring, very boring. After your teammates put up much better performances, you fall flat without even touching me and now even your own comrades are mocking you. You are truly trash."

Kabuto called over. "You can put her down now; you've won Temari-san."

Smiling, Temari tossed Tenten out over the dozens of razor-sharp weapons lying around. However, Lee was already there to catch her, protecting her from further harm. Temari let out a haughty snort. "Nice catch."

"Why did you do that? Is that how you treat someone who fought her hardest?" Lee demanded.

"If that was her hardest, then when that piece of trash wakes up, tell her that as a Ninja she'd be better off using her tenth talent." Temari made a V-sign with one hand and then thrust a finger from the other back and forth the bottom of said V for emphasis. Lee immediately bristled.

"Harsh." Sakura gasped, as Temari hopped back up to rejoin her teammates and their Jonin Sensei, who had arrived over the course of the preliminaries.

With that out of the way, Kabuto clapped his hands together. "The Preliminary Trials for the Third Exam are now completed. Will those that passed please assemble up front immediately?"

The ten Genin who passed their preliminary matches appeared in front of Kabuto, lined up shoulder to shoulder. From left to right stood Gaara, Kankuro, Temari, Shino, Lee, Shikamaru, Sakura, Hinata, Neji, Naruto, and Sasuke. Anko and Ibiki joined Kabuto's side, while Sarutobi observed the Genin. He had three concerns, Gaara, Naruto, and most gravely Sasuke.

_"That boy, Gaara, he's been denied a fight. Were it not for Baki arriving as he did, he likely would've killed Sai for forfeiting the moment their match began. This will be a very long month; I'll have to send only the best to keep an eye on him at all times."_ Sarutobi surmised of Gaara as the Sand-nin stared ahead, his stoic expression only barely concealing his rage.

He turned his attention to Sasuke, whose expression was unreadable as he listened to Kabuto explain the third exam and why there was a month's wait for it. The blaze in the woods, and the condition that the Sound Genin were in was immediately identified by Fugaku and Mikoto, the latter having been called in to seal it. _"After killing his own teacher for being a traitor, Sasuke has achieved those eyes. He'll have to be watched as well, the power that comes with those eyes is deadly corruptible."_

Speaking of Orochimaru, he looked to Naruto, who was still flying high in his victory over Chouji that brought him to the Third Exam. He trusted Naruto to doubt that he had actually killed Orochimaru, and to focus on his important battles rather than worry. Orochimaru was not Naruto's battle, and Sarutobi was going to make sure one way or another it didn't become his. _"To see how you've grown as a Ninja, Naruto the Fourth and Kushina would be proud, though I imagine they would beat the stuffing out of me for not abiding by their wishes."_

Compared to those three, the concerns of the other Genin hardly registered. Looking from Naruto to Hinata and back to Naruto, Sarutobi let out a chuckle as Kabuto adjourned the gathering and dismissed the Genin. Keeping him away from the awful business involving Orochimaru was for the best, Naruto was going to have all sorts of worries that had nothing to do with the machinations of old folks.

* * *

Exiting the Forest of Death, Sakura reached into the bag she carried with her, and pulled out her dress, or rather what was left of it. It had been damaged during her match with Zaku by his Decapitating Airwaves technique, leaving her in only her red sports bra and the black shorts she wore underneath it. It was no terrible loss, she was past due for a new look, but sewing weights into clothes was always a hassle.

"Hey swine, are you feeling better?" She called over to Ino, who was still a little green around the gills from her battle with Shino. "I need your help with a new outfit for the next exam. You mind helping me out?"

Ino smiled. "Sure, forehead. Let me just get home and get some rest first." Ino replied as Shikamaru and Chouji helped her off.

As Sakura saw Ino go, Lee jogged over. "Sakura!"

"Sempai!" Sakura quickly cheered as both launched high kicks and crossed them. "Your match was amazing! You moved so fast and you didn't even have to remove your weights."

Lee gave a thumb's up. "Yosh! You were pretty fast too when you lost yours! When I see you at the Exam, you had better be ready to not hold back!"

Fire burned in Sakura's eyes. "Strong-fist, Gentle fist, my fist will crush them both just you watch!"

Naruto was off to the side with Sai and Hinata–who was now wearing her mask on the back of her head and had her jacket opened–watching Sakura and Lee posture and boast while complementing each other on being awesome. He was glad Sai had quit his match and avoided being manhandled, but he was now worried about what was to come. He had witnessed what Gaara could do through the eyes of his Shadow Clones, and he wasn't sure exactly how to overcome that kind of defense.

Even worse, Gaara had gotten pissed off that he would be denied a murder. Sai actually taunting him by asking if he was mad about getting a free pass didn't help that. He was definitely going to have to see Kakashi about special training for getting around Gaara in the event he had to face him.

"Hey, Naruto." Samui called over. All were with their Sensei and looked a little worse for wear but still alive. All three had done their best, but Samui, Omoi, and Karui had all come up short against Hinata, Neji, and Sasuke respectively.

Naruto smiled to Samui. "Sorry about your loss, you were all pretty amazing."

"I agree." Sai said, before looking to Karui. "Especially you, I've never heard of Sasuke being forced to use two swords in battle."

Yes, he used two swords but no Sharingan, which Naruto thought was weird. Still it was an impressive battle that left a good impression on Karui. Under Sai's praise, she flushed a little just like she had after being defeated. "Well, I just did what I normally do; Killer Bee-sensei trains no fools."

Their muscular and intimidating Sensei looked over from behind his pitch dark sunglasses and nodded his approval at Karui's humility. Humility, he wondered if he could use that in a flow. Omoi went from humility and shot lower. "Good as we were, we were the unlucky ones going up against Konoha's three geniuses."

Omoi didn't even have half the fun Karui and Samui did with their opponents, that Neji prick acted like it was fated for him to win over a "common Samurai pretending to be a Ninja" and lording over him with it when the fight was over. That really pissed him off.

Almost as though she could read his mind, Hinata opened her fan and bowed her head to him. "I apologize for Neji; he is an unpleasant person but highly dedicated to his art. That he put effort into defeating you meant he saw you as a worthy foe."

"Sure didn't feel like that." Omoi spat out a used up lollipop and unwrapped another.

Samui then stepped up to Hinata, a smirk on her face as she stared at the slightly shorter girl who had defeated her. Responding to this, Hinata stepped up to Samui. As Naruto looked between the two, Samui's smile grew. "I appreciate you not killing me when you had the chance, given the circumstances."

"I have little interest in revenge; it's not mine to take. That does not mean I easily forgive your village, however." Hinata replied as the two literally went chest to chest. Naruto stared, finding the scene intriguing in many ways, while Sai quickly drew both girls.

"I think that's fine." Samui replied. Breaking contact with Hinata, she turned to follow their Sensei off. Hinata raised her fan to cover part of her face, as she smiled after the ninja from Cloud.

"One day you'll forgive them, right?" Naruto asked as the Cloud Genin left to pack up for the long trip home.

Hinata closed her fan. "One day, if Neji's heart can be healed."

Team One was out next, with Sasuke leading Shiho and Idate behind him. His teammates had bowed out like Sai had, unwilling to fight one another or Sasuke after what they had seen. With them was Aoi's voluntary replacement, Mikoto Uchiha. Shiho managed to smile to Naruto and the others, while Idate wished Sasuke luck and walked away with his hands in his pockets. It appeared none on the team were sure of how to handle this.

"Shiho, I'm sorry about everything that happened." Sasuke said to her. Adjusting her glasses, she smiled back to him.

"I…I'm not mad at you, Sasuke. You did what you had to do, Idate and I…we don't hold it against you." Shiho then took Sasuke into a hug. "Aoi-sensei was closer to you than the two of us combined, so if you need anything…we'll be here for you, and we'll gladly accept you as our commander when you become Chunin."

Sasuke hugged Shiho back tightly, and then tipped down her glasses so he could see her eyes. Because of their position, only he and Mikoto could see her eyes, and the latter reacted with surprise at their apparent beauty. "It's alright to hate me, for what happened…you don't have to put up a front."

"I'm not…" Shiho pushed her glasses back up. "I'm just worried, so is Idate–stubborn as he is to show any weakness. Just do like you always do: Train really hard, and win every battle."

"Thank you, Shiho." He hugged Shiho again, and then pulled away. Mikoto smiled warmly to Shiho, who bowed politely before walking for home and a much needed shower. Naruto immediately walked over, and Sasuke turned to him.

"Hey, Sasuke, are you alright?" He asked. Mikoto, however, stepped in.

"Naruto-kun," She gently said to him, "Sasuke needs to get home and rest. Then after that there will be special training for the exam, you probably won't see him again until then."

Naruto nodded. "I understand, but…what about Aoi-sensei?"

Mikoto, whom Naruto had always known as a gentle, pleasant (and lately highly doable) woman, grew cold and narrowed her eyes at him. "What about him? He killed four ANBU, and injured five on his way into the forest, and he wiped out an entire Leaf Genin team because they were unfortunate to cross paths with him."

Sasuke looked down to the ground at that. Mikoto softened. "I am sorry, Naruto-kun, and to you Sasuke. I don't want to come off as insensitive, but it does not change what he did, or what that makes him in the eyes of the village."

"Don't worry, I understand." Sasuke said, as he turned and walked away. His tone was dismissive, almost resigned. "I'm going on ahead."

Before Naruto could stop him, Sasuke was gone. He looked to Mikoto. "Look, I'm sorry for that but the day we got to the tower…the day after Aoi died…"

"Sasuke tapped into a dark and terrible power, Naruto-kun." Mikoto cut him off. "Killing his sensei unlocked it, and now the next couple of weeks are going to be very important."

Naruto's eyes widened. The fire in the woods, the state of the Sound Genin, Sasuke's change in attitude, and how he reacted when he saw them began to make sense. "What was it?"

Bending down, Mikoto kissed Naruto on the cheek, and then whispered against it. "I can't discuss more here, but it's important no one knows, alright Naruto-kun? The last thing I would want is for Sasuke to hurt you."

She pulled away with a smile. "Forget about all that for now, ne? How about after the exam, you come over to the estate and I'll make you and Sasuke a grand old feast? You can bring Hinata if you like."

Naruto managed a smile. Mikoto was arguably one of the best cooks in Konoha, after Ichiraku Ramen's staff of course. "Sure thing, Mikoto-san, I'll look forward to that. Take care of Sasuke."

Mikoto, still smiling, nodded. "I'm his mother; he's in the best care possible!"

She turned and took off for home, leaving not even a trace of her departure. Naruto felt both agitated and relieved at the same time; Sasuke was in some kind of danger, but at least he was in good hands. Whatever came of this, he hoped that in the tournament he didn't have to face it, it was bad enough that he had to deal with Gaara.

He headed over to rejoin Sakura and Sai, and found Kakashi late as usual arriving to join his team. "Hey, Kakashi-sensei, I wanted to talk about…!"

"You don't need to say anymore," Kakashi said cheerfully as he handed Naruto a note, "Tomorrow afternoon, you meet me at this Training Ground and I'll get you ready for Gaara."

Naruto grinned big. "Oh, thank you Kakashi-sensei!"

Sakura raised her hand. "Hey Kakashi-sensei, who am I going to train with?"

"I've made some arrangements with Gai for him to train you alongside Lee and Neji." Sakura's eyes were sparkling by the time Kakashi finished. "Yes, I knew you'd like that."

"Kakashi-sensei you're the best!" Sakura squealed as she hugged him tightly.

"Ow…ribs…ribs…!" Kakashi grimaced as Sakura lifted him off his feet in the process of her hug.

* * *

Three weeks had gone by, and with numerous dignitaries and Lords from other nations and villages arriving Konoha's security was becoming much tighter. ANBU were visibly present on rooftops almost everywhere, particularly where the foreign representatives and their entourages were staying. Meanwhile, Konoha's Military Police was on the street, moving people along and representing physical boundaries as to where the aforementioned foreigners could or could not go.

The system was working, but the system served another purpose, as Baki accurately determined from the balcony of an old building near where Gaara was perched, sleeplessly counting the seconds until the Third Exam. Konoha was wary with the rumor that Orochimaru had appeared in the Forest of Death. Akatsuki just didn't appear for any reason, and they wanted to be sure to have their security out in force to discourage any movement by that organization.

Of course, having so many personnel on the ground, it was always easy to lose track, as exemplified by the female ANBU that arrived quietly next to him. "The little creep looks like he's going crazy waiting."

"He went crazy a long time ago." Baki replied. Neither he nor the ANBU with him noticed a second ANBU quietly listening in around the corner.

"Anyway," Baki grimaced at the long-haired ANBU's crass tone as she handed him a scroll, "Take this and then get to work. Orochimaru-sama may be dead but the plan's going to go on even with him in the dirt."

"You shouldn't mention that name, even in privacy." Baki warned her. "If even the slightest hint comes back that Sand is involved in this plot…"

"Don't say another freaking word, you half-faced ass-wipe. I know exactly what I'm doing so you don't need to worry about a thing. It's your ugly ass and your Blood Prince over there that needs to remember their place."

Baki had half a mind to kill the messenger, now that she had delivered her message. However, a much better target presented itself. "Get out of here then, on the day of the Exam, we'll unleash Gaara on the village and then you do your part."

The ANBU listening in gave a start at that and tensed. The ANBU at Baki's side snorted. "Now who's saying too much? Someone could be listening!"

"Oh, someone is…" Baki looked to his right past the first ANBU and towards the corner. "But it's only one, he won't be missed."

As the first ANBU snorted, Baki and the second vanished, and a clash of blades faster than could be seen occurred on the roof of the building. Kneeling on the roof, Baki weighed the kunai in his hand as he looked back towards their attacker, who rose. "Even for an ANBU that was sloppy."

The mask worn by the ANBU fell off, bisected across the middle, revealing Kabuto's face. Recognizing him, Baki smirked. "So, Mr. Proctor, ready to become the first casualty?"

Reaching to his back, Kabuto drew his ninjato and smiled. "You're not going to be the one walking away from here, sorry."

Banter ended, and Kabuto struck first, performing a vicious bisecting swing to cut through Baki's body. However, the sword slowed, and then came to a stop only barely cutting into Baki's flak vest. Surprised at first, Kabuto smiled. "You wind elements are quite the pain, using your chakra to create an air cushion to slow my blade down."

"Yes," Baki replied as he performed a one-handed seal, "But that's not our only trick."

In an instant, Kabuto was eviscerated, nearly cut in half as he had intended doing, by Baki. As Kabuto spilled to the ground a lifeless heap, Baki dusted off his flak vest. "You rather took a chance than ran, that's commendable but you were still a corpse from the moment you drew your sword."

As Baki left, and the ANBU he shared secrets with did the same to dispose of her disguise, Kabuto peered from the roof of a building adjacent to where the battle took place, and let out a chuckle. "You're right Sand Jonin, I was."

The Hokage was going to be the first to hear about this, it was as he suspected: something to this effect was going on. Rising to his feet, Kabuto gave one final look to the dead body lying in a pool of blood and smirked. Even in death, a traitor still had his uses, had it not been dark and had Baki better attention to detail he probably would've noticed the stitches along the edges of the face.

"You've redeemed yourself in my book, Aoi Rokusho." He said before letting out a morbid chuckle.

* * *

"How does it look?" Ino asked as Sakura zipped up the new outfit that she and Ino had worked on for the last few weeks between her vigorous training sessions. It was a short-sleeved cutoff leg jumpsuit in her favorite red, complete with matching boots and gloves, and it had a bitchin' silver dragon coiled all over it. Adopting a Gentle Fist stance, Sakura performed a kata in it before shifting quickly to Strong Fist. She then struck a pose and let out a sound not unlike a bad Bruce Lee imitation.

"It's perfect!" She declared as she looked at herself in the mirror Ino held up for her. "It's cute, not skanky, it's breathable but strong, and it has the right amount of utility for me."

She pats the deep, somewhat baggy pockets for emphasis. "Plus, I can carry a kunai in these and it won't poke me through the material."

"It's reinforced; I borrowed some of the material from my Dad's old flak vests. It might not be as strong, but it's way more durable than your old dress." Ino said. "Plus the material is heavy on its own, so you can add more weight than your dress could manage."

"That's fine by me." Sakura replied as she unzipped the suit and opened it to look at the compartments ready to be stuffed with extra weights. Zipping it back up, she cracked her knuckles and then dropped down to begin performing one-handed push-ups, aiming for a total of six hundred, with three hundred for each hand. Walking over, Ino promptly sat down cross-legged on Sakura's back.

"Ne, Sakura-chan…" Ino said. "Rumor has it, that the legendary Sannin Orochimaru appeared back in the Forest of Death."

"Oh?" Sakura continued doing her pushups, counting them off in her head.

"That rumor, from a very reliable source, says that you were there."

Sakura didn't stop. "Your sources like to talk a lot."

Ino crossed her arms. Her sources were, of course, overhearing her Father and the rest of the previous generation's Ino-Shika-Cho discussing business when the current generation's Ino should've been otherwise asleep.

"A ninja never reveals their secrets, especially their sources for info. What the heck happened? Apparently Aoi-sensei is dead, and that he was trying to link up with Orochimaru for some reason or another." Ino continued. "And, it was explicitly stated that Teams One and Seven were there, and that Naruto did something."

Oh boy, did he do something. Sakura, however, had been instructed not only by Kakashi but by Fugaku Uchiha himself not to breathe a word about the incident to anyone…or the consequences would be unpleasant. "That night was really hectic, it's hard to remember everything and I'd rather focus on training."

Ino huffed, but relented. It was pretty obvious that Sakura didn't want to pursue the subject. "Fine, then."

Movement through the brush alerted both girls, and the looked over to find a haggard-looking Tenten making her way towards another training ground with scrolls in hand. Looking over to them, Tenten forced a smile before she kept walking, down the path and then out of sight. Both Ino and Sakura were surprised.

"She's already back on her feet?" Ino asked.

After the back injury she'd sustained against Temari, Tenten had fallen seriously ill, almost to the point where Gai tried to get her placed in the hospital. She had adamantly refused, and had spent the last two weeks laid up in bed at her home. Sakura was impressed that she was up and walking around, let alone heading out for some training.

"I guess that goes to show the resilience of a student of Maito Gai." Sakura said to Ino as she switched hands. "I think she's going to be okay."

"What about her pride?" Ino asked.

Sakura couldn't answer that.

* * *

Atop a windswept plateau, Naruto stared up at the large crater that Kakashi had blown into a rock wall with the technique that he was teaching him, the sole original technique in his entire repertoire. Gaara, being a user of sand, was an Earth Element user, and therefore a technique that could defeat it was paramount. Kakashi just so happened to have that in the form of the Chidori, or the Lightning Blade as he liked to call it.

"Traditionally, this kind of attack has a major drawback. The speed at which you need to approach your opponent with this technique creates tunnel vision, which would leave you vulnerable to attack from the sides." Kakashi explained as Naruto worked on trying to collect and mold lightning chakra at his hands.

"For that reason," Kakashi continued, "The Chidori is a technique best used by those with the Sharingan. You, however, can cheat."

"With Shadow Clones acting as my many eyes, right?" Naruto asked.

Kakashi nodded. "That's right. By this time you're well aware of the benefits of the Shadow Clone technique, and you've been employing them?"

"You bet I have." Naruto gripped his right arm just past the elbow as he thrust it downward. A shower of sparks flew from his hand before it was sheathed in electricity just past his wrist. Kakashi nodded in approval, as the sound of a thousand birds chirping began to sound from the crackling electricity.

"For now, let's just focus on the speed of your attack." Kakashi said as he pointed at another rock wall. "Charge it as fast as you can, and hit the target. Don't worry about the Tunnel Effect."

Nodding, Naruto shot into a run, before using the body-flicker technique to develop tremendous speed and slam the Chidori into the wall. The explosion that followed surprised even Kakashi, as the wall split much rather than crater. Kakashi clapped. "Impressive, impressive…"

Naruto stepped back from the wall and wrung his hand. "I can see what you mean by tunnel vision…I could only see what was in front of me."

"And that is why you must always have eyes on you from all sides." Kakashi said before he noticed movement to their side. Both he and Naruto looked over to find Gaara standing at the base of another rock wall, staring at them. Kakashi hummed.

Naruto soured. "What do you want?"

"Two weeks ago, you denied me prey." Gaara answered in his cold, flat tone.

Naruto nodded. Two weeks ago, Gaara had gone after Sai with the intent of killing him for backing out of their preliminary match, and had cornered him. Before he could attack Naruto had stepped in, with Kakashi and a few Uchiha arriving a short time later, and the confrontation ended without words or violence. However, the look Gaara gave Naruto as he excused himself from the scene had said everything.

"Prey, huh? I don't know what you're on about, but I don't see the point to killing a guy a week after he quit your match." Naruto answered.

Gaara replied. "I do not allow my prey to escape. I need their blood, to quench her thirst…"

"Her?" Naruto asked, before shaking his head. "Whatever, I'm your prey now. But don't think I'm some helpless little rabbit!"

Gaara, silent, stared straight into Naruto's eyes. "It's hopeless for you; your eyes aren't the same as mine."

Naruto glowered. "What do you mean they aren't the same?"

"Your eyes don't hold any desire for power, and your bloodlust is pitifully low. You have the eyes of a weakling who can survive only on the love of others." Gaara responded.

The hatefulness in his tone struck Naruto, to say that, when he had "Love" written on his own forehead. "If you call that your strength, then you cannot hope to survive. I will kill you."

"Time out," Kakashi intervened, "Is this all you came for, to rant at Naruto about his eyes?"

"No, I came to assess him." Gaara replied. "When you fight to the death, it is more than your life at stake, the purpose of your existence is in question. The winner's existence is given meaning, while the loser should have never been born."

Naruto grimaced at that, what a heartless ideology. Gaara kept on. "At our match, you will understand the pointlessness of your existence. Only those that love themselves can survive in this world."

Gaara awaited a reply from Naruto, and the Leaf Genin gave him one. "I don't know how or where you came to that conclusion, but in the real world strength doesn't come from being a self-absorbed punk. Don't preach your crap to me, especially if it's wrong!"

Gaara's eyes widened just a bit at Naruto's response. "You…"

Naruto thumped a thumb against his chest. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki, I'm going to be Hokage one day, and I'll never become that by with an idiot way of thinking like yours! When the exams come, I'm going to mop the floor with you, and your pathetic justifications!

Kakashi couldn't help but smile inwardly at Naruto's boast. Despite being juvenile, it still carried a great deal of weight; Naruto wasn't going to back down against someone like this guy. Whether Gaara saw that or not, the other young man did not show, he turned and walked away, before vanishing into sand that blew away with the wind.

"Like Hell I will lose to someone like that." Naruto grumbled.

"No, you won't." Kakashi said. "As someone who tried to live life like he did, I can tell perfectly that he has not yet seen the real world."

Naruto looked to Kakashi. "You?"

"It's a long story, but I'll tell you it when we have some time on the side." Kakashi replied. "Get back to work."

Naruto quickly nodded. "You got it, sensei!"

* * *

The Naka Shrine, the secret meeting place of the Uchiha Clan and until the attack of the Demon Fox, the place where the clan met to stew over their grievances towards the ruling Senju Clan of Konoha. Sitting on a tatami mat in the torch-lit room, Sasuke stared at the large, indecipherable tablet that sat at the base of the wall.

"I can barely read it." Sasuke admitted as he touched the stone tablet.

"Of course you can't." Mikoto said. Her Sharingan was activated. "The tablet requires the Sharingan to read."

Sasuke nodded, and then activated his Sharingan. Immediately, he could see so much more than before and it surprised him. "The Sharingan…"

"…Was meant to control one of the most powerful of the Tailed-Beasts, the Nine-Tailed Fox. That said, its own power is very dark and corruptible. We Uchiha, who possess it, must use it wisely, and always remember why we use it." Mikoto rested her hands on Sasuke's shoulders. "The Sharingan exists to protect Konoha, and those that we care for."

Sasuke continued reading, but then stopped when he found more of it unreadable. "I can't read this even with the Sharingan."

"The Mangekyo Sharingan," Mikoto then said, "Is the evolution of the Sharingan and symbolic of the Sharingan attaining its full maturity. Each Mangekyo Sharingan is unique to its owner, with no two sets being alike."

Sasuke looked up at his mother, and gave a surprised start when he saw that her Sharingan had changed, becoming a Mangekyo set. Looking back at the tablet, Sasuke activated his Mangekyo Sharingan, and found the portion of the tablet he could not grasp readable. It all said exactly what she was reading aloud.

"It comes at a price. To gain this power, you must take the life of someone you love, and when you acquire it, you will slowly succumb to darkness." Mikoto went on. "The only way to avert this fate is to embrace your darkness, by taking the eyes of another."

Mikoto rubbed Sasuke's shoulders, before lifting her hands from them. "The last Uchiha who fell that far nearly caused the ruin of our clan, which is why it is imperative that you know of the dangerous power you possess, and how to control it, the very same way that I must know."

Sasuke sighed, and then looked at the words written. "So, I will descend into darkness?"

"You will lose your eyesight, yes." Mikoto clarified. "Limiting the use of the Mangekyo slows the process, but it is an eventuality. In time, you will completely lose your sight."

The thought chilled Sasuke to the core. Blindness, how could he live like that? What good was a blind Ninja? Sensing his trepidation, Mikoto knelt down and gave Sasuke a comforting smile. "Don't you fret, Sasuke. We won't let you fall into darkness, not your family, and definitely not your village."

As Sasuke relaxed at that, Mikoto continued. "After all, you are the treasure of our clan, and the key to our prosperity."

"I am?" Sasuke asked as Mikoto rose to her feet.

"Yes. Twelve years ago, when the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox attacked Konoha, the Uchiha Clan was absent for the defense. After it was sealed, the Hokage's council suspected that we were responsible for the ability our eyes possessed, and sought to punish us."

Sasuke blinked in surprise. "Wait, it was sealed?"

"Yes. However, the Third returned to his post as Hokage, and wisely crafted a deal with the Uchiha Clan while shouting down his council. In exchange for backing Sarutobi's lie that the Demon Fox was dead, you would be the first Uchiha to be seen legitimately as candidate for the position of Hokage since the battle at the Valley of the End."

"Hokage…?" Sasuke murmured, amazed, before he focused on more important matters. "No, wait. The Nine-Tailed Fox isn't dead?"

"No." Mikoto said. "The Nine Tailed Fox is still very much alive, and is sealed in a demon container. We've kept it a secret for the sake of the Container, so he can live a normal life."

Sasuke almost immediately figured it out. "It's Naruto, isn't it?"

Mikoto nodded. "Yes, what was your first clue?"

Sasuke smiled a little bit. "I always thought there was something special about him. He's the only guy out of the others my age that interests me as an opponent, really."

Putting on a big smile, Mikoto patted Sasuke on the head. "Good, a healthy rivalry between you two will mean a strong Konoha in the future. Now that you've seen this much, are there any other questions?"

Looking back to the tablet, Sasuke realized there was writing even the Mangekyo Sharingan couldn't figure out. "Yes, what's that last writing there? I can't figure it out."

"That is for a set of eyes that no longer exist in this world. No one in the clan knows what it says." Mikoto replied.

"I see…" Rising to his feet, Sasuke looked to his Mother. "The techniques that I used in the forest, Amaterasu, Tsukiyomi…can you show me how to control them?"

Mikoto nodded. "Of course but promise me Sasuke."

Her tone grew very serious as she stared intently at her son.

"Do not use them during the Third Exam."

* * *

The day of the match, a packed arena of thousands, and on the ground the ten competitors for the Chunin Selection Exam stood shoulder to shoulder under uproarious applause. From right to left, Shino Aburame, Sakura Haruna, Shikamaru Nara, Naruto Uzumaki, Rock Lee, Neji Hyuga, Sasuke Uchiha, Hinata Hyuga, Gaara of the Sand Waterfall, Temari, and Kankuro faced the Proctor for the exam, the sickly looking but aloof Hayate Gekko.

Sakura looked at Hayate, confused, wasn't Kabuto supposed to be Proctor? She hadn't seen him at all during the last few weeks. The others noticed the change, but either paid it no mind or didn't care at all. Up in the center stands in her personal box, Sarutobi was already seated and eager to watch a tournament. At his side, the Kazekage arrived with his bodyguards, and Sarutobi smiled.

"Well, well…it's nice for you to join us, Kazekage; I didn't think you'd be here with the journey involved." Sarutobi kindly greeted the Kazekage, who nodded to him in return.

"It was not too difficult for me; after all I still have my youth." The masked Kazekage playfully jabbed.

"Picking on an old man now, are you?" Sarutobi laughed back.

In the audience, Ino was seated with Chouji, Asuma, and Asuma's on and off again lover (currently and most definitely on) Kurenai Yuuhi. Ino was drooling as she beheld Sasuke in full Uchiha attire, Samurai-styled armor in addition to his dark attire and not one but two swords on his hips.

"Oh my God, Sasuke's so HOT!" She cheered as she looked down at him. She rose from her seat. "SASUKE, I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!"

"Oh brother…" Sakura grumbled as no small number of girls (and women) in the stands shared the same sentiments. The only woman in this entire arena who was having Sasuke's baby was her, damn it. She looked over to him, and resisted swooning herself.

Back up in the stands, Fugaku nodded his approval of the many young women currently ovulating over his son. All was as it should be for Sasuke. In another section, Idate, Shiho, and Kiba were seated together. Akamaru barked and wagged his tail on sight of Hinata and Shino.

"Yeah, it's great and all, but I have to wait a full year before I can catch up with them." Kiba grumbled.

Idate looked over and smiled. "Well, if you like, you can be on a team with Shiho and me."

"That'd be cool." Kiba replied before Akamaru barked and brought his attention to an ANBU overseeing the event. "Huh? Since when did the ANBU get here?"

"You just noticed them? They've been around for a while now." Shiho absently replied. Her attrention focused on her personal favorite for the tournament, Shikamaru, and she smiled.

Seated with Maito Gai, Tenten was silent as she stared at Temari. She didn't even notice Lee attempt to give her a thumb's up. Temari, as though feeling the glare on her skin, looked up at Tenten, and smiled as she made another V-sign and thrust her finger through the bottom before Hayate instructed her to behave. Tenten boiled at that, Lee had told her about the hurtful things that she had said.

"Between Neji-san and Hinata-sama, who do you think will prevail, Father?" Hanabi Hyuga asked her Father, Hiashi. The fancy Hyuga had their own section, right next to the Uchiha, denoting their prestige in Konoha.

"Both are extremely gifted. The outcome of their battle will be closely decided." Hiashi replied.

Over in the Uchiha section, Haku clapped his hands and smiled happily as Naruto took notice and waved to him. At his left, Sai looked down at Gaara, who was focused straight ahead, and at his right Mikoto hung on Haku's arm, the Uchiha Matriarch having grown fond of the Ice Chakra user since she had "rented him out" to add Ice Chakra to the Uchiha pool.

Practically on the other side of Konoha, a female Chunin placed a stamp on the papers presented for her, before looking up at the impatient girl waiting to get moving. "You're in a hurry, aren't you? Well, your case will be reviewed but as it stands you're well on your way to becoming a citizen of Konoha."

The Chunin handed over the stamped papers. "You'll get your identification in the mail within two weeks, for now though hold onto these papers in case you get stopped by the Police."

Taking the papers and sporting a Konoha forehead protector, a giddy Karin bowed to the Chunin in charge of Immigration services. "Thank you! Sorry for the rush, but I want to get there before Sasuke-sama's match!"

"Of course, of course…you're free to go–." Karin was out the door in a flash, her afterimage fading behind her. Sitting back in her chair, the Chunin chuckled and sighed. "I've heard of some obsessed admirers, but to defect just to be near him? If he's anything like his brother, I can't wait until he gets a little older, meow."

"Thanks everyone for coming to the Konoha Chunin Selection Exam!" Sarutobi called aloud to the thousands present. "We will now begin the main tournament matches between the Eleven Participants who made it through the Preliminaries! Please stay and watch it through the end!"

As Sarutobi grandstanded, the Kazekage smiled behind his mask as he looked out over the audience and the four ANBU in particular that stood watch over the crowd, barely noticed in the crowd. Down on the field, Hayate held up a sheet of paper.

"Okay," He stopped to cough, "Here are your brackets. The first round matches will be as follows: Kankuro vs. Shino Aburame…"

Kankuro grimaced, and looked towards Shino, who doesn't appear to react. This was no good.

"…Shikamaru Nara vs. Temari…"

Shikamaru let out a sigh, as Ino and Chouji cheered particularly loudly. Temari just snorted: a weak guy like him? What a waste of her time.

"…Neji Hyuga vs. Hinata Hyuga…"

Her face hidden behind her fox mask, Hinata nodded, while Neji just narrowed his eyes.

"…Naruto Uzumaki vs. Gaara of the Sand Waterfall…"

Naruto adjusted his glasses, and looked aside towards Gaara, who was wearing a frighteningly eager smile on his face.

"…Rock Lee vs. Sakura Haruno…"

Lee and Sakura exchanged looks towards one another, and grinned.

"…And Sasuke Uchiha will face the winner of the match between Neji and Hinata."

Sasuke smiled, they really wanted to see the Geniuses at work, didn't they? No matter, his focus was definitely not either of them. He glanced over to Naruto, before looking back up to his family's section.

_"Until the Demon Fox attacked, the Uchiha were second-class citizens in their own village. But because of the circumstances of your birth, Naruto, they are prosperous and happy. You dream of being Hokage, Naruto, well you're going to have to go through me first, and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have it any other way."_ Sasuke thought as he eagerly anticipated fighting him.

"Alright," Hayate said, "The arena may look different but the rules are still the same…there are none. You're free to fight to the death, but if I determine that the fight is over, I will step in and end it. Do I make myself clear?"

There were nods from all of the Genin. "Good. The rest of you leave, the first match, Kankuro vs. Shino, will begin immediately."

The other Genin cleared out, leaving only Hayate, Shino, and Kankuro in the arena. As he stared at the creepy looking Aburame, Kankuro pulled a grimace and looked towards Baki. It was too early; he couldn't risk showing too much so soon. Plus, he heard of the Aburame, there was no telling how far he was going to get pushed to beat this guy, if at all.

Shino, to his merit, looked forward to a grand old time beating the life out of this guy.

"Alright are you two ready?" Hayate raised his hand. "Aburame Shino vs. Kankuro…you may begin!"

The Third Exam had begun.

* * *

A/N: No crappy Omake here, move it along.


	9. Hiruzen Sarutobi

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the last man standing. Let the battle begin.

**And then suddenly, Ninjas!  
**Is Hiruzen Sarutobi going to have to choke a bitch?

_Because Hiruzen Sarutobi seriously believes that Hiruzen Sarutobi has not done enough bitch-choking since this story started._

**[8.]**

Up in the Kage Box as the Third Exam began, Sarutobi packed his pipe and got his smoke on, as the Kazekage all but quivered in excitement. Sarutobi, of course, knew that at any time during this match the Kazekage would pull his asinine crap and send an army of ninja spilling into Konoha, but he was going to humor the guy before he embarrassed him in front of pretty much the entire ninja world.

"It's a good day for a match, eh Kazekage?" Sarutobi asked.

"Yes, I quite agree." The Kazekage replied with a somewhat obvious lisp.

Sarutobi found it odd, the Kazekage didn't speak with a lisp–damn it Orochimaru you are the worst ninja ever. On the bright side, Anko was going to get that promotion to Jonin for having a correct gut instinct about that whole "Naruto didn't really kill him" thing.

Even better, he gets to embarrass his stupid pupil for pulling some stupid crap on his own sensei. And, since he obviously killed the Kazekage and stole his face and no one supposedly knew wiser, now was a perfect opportunity to get whatever he wanted from Sand and then feign ignorance about the whole thing when it's all over. Today was going to be glorious.

**Shino vs. Kankuro**

"Hey Kazekage, our two villages are the closest of comrades, aren't we?" Sarutobi asked the Kazekage.

"Of course, Hokage, Sand and Leaf are like brothers." The Kazekage replied.

Sarutobi pulled out a scroll and began writing things down. "Well, there are a few things that I'd like if it's not too much trouble. Small things, it wouldn't even be a dent in Sunagakure."

"Sure, sure, just write down your wish-list and I'll have it stamped when you're done." The Kazekage said.

"Good, is there anything you want in return, Kazekage? On a beautiful day like this I'm feeling extremely generous." Sarutobi asked.

"Oh, I'll decide on something very soon." The Kazekage replied as he eyed Sasuke Uchiha like an Akimichi would an all-you-can-eat buffet. Sarutobi did an amazing job pretending not to notice as he added Temari to his list.

It was at that moment that Hayate announced that Shino was winner via forfeit. Sarutobi looked down at the ring. "Wait, a forfeit?"

Down in the arena, Kankuro was not happy. He hadn't expected to go before Gaara and he didn't want to reveal his trump card in some meaningless match. He was fine with sitting this one out.

Shino, who had been looking forward to his match, wanted to send his females to lay their eggs in Kankuro, for denying him a fight. Ah well, there was always next round. Naruto and Hinata saw a very sick smile appear on Shino's lips and looked to each other nervously.

"Hey, Hokage, do you think something is bugging that Aburame kid?" The Kazekage asked as he noticed Shino's serial killer smile.

Sarutobi stopped, and stared at the Kazekage. "Now that you mention it, he does look like a bug crawled up his ass."

Both Kage broke into peals of laughter.

**Shikamaru vs. Temari**

Back down at the arena, Shikamaru liked that idea, and he immediately raised his hand to forfeit. "Hey I forfeit too–."

Temari kicked him in the back and sent him plummeting into the ring before jumping down herself. "The hell you are!"

Sarutobi hummed. "She's a bloodthirsty one, just like my dear departed wife."

The Kazekage briefly went wide-eyed, as though he remembered something horrifying. Just as quickly he regained his composure, and chuckled. "Temari has always been fearsome, and eager to show her skills."

Seeing who she was fighting, Sarutobi took a puff from his pipe. "Too bad she's going up against Shikamaru."

The Kazekage stared down at Shikamaru. "You mean the young man who is refusing to get up and fight?"

Sarutobi nodded. "Yes, she's going to hate this match."

An hour later, the match was over, with Temari having stripped herself down to nothing but the scant bits of mesh she wore while under the command of Shikamaru's Shadow Copy and then danced like a monkey for the crowd of Ninja. To add insult to injury, Shikamaru then forfeited the match, having no intention of advancing after proving his complete superiority over her.

"He won that match." The Kazekage said, sounding firmly impressed.

"Like there was a _shadow_ of a doubt." Sarutobi let out a boisterous laugh that the Kazekage joined him in.

**Hinata vs. Neji**

"That Temari chick was damn hot." Sasuke said as he shot the breeze with Naruto on the sidelines.

Naruto nodded. "Add pierced nipples to my list of turn-ons."

"Hell. Yes. Mine too." Sasuke and Naruto shared a fist-bump with that. Behind them, Sakura was swiftly writing down "Sasuke likes girls with pierced nipples" on a note pad.

"I'm standing right here, you assholes!" Temari–who was hurriedly dressing herself–yelled at both Konoha Ninja.

Hinata joined Naruto's side. "I could've told you that she had them, you know."

Sasuke sighed. "Oh man, if I had the Byakugan I would just stand in front of the women's bath _all day_."

"But you're a young, single, male Uchiha; they'd already drag you in if you so much as walked by." Hinata pointed out.

Sasuke thought about it, and nodded. "Yeah, they pretty much would."

Naruto folded his arms and grumbled. "Stupid sexy Uchiha…"

At that moment he felt a chill down his back and there was Neji, getting ready to leap down into the pit. The two geniuses and Naruto looked at the Branch Hyuga, who was most assuredly looking out the side of his head at Naruto with contempt.

"Hinata-sama, we are being called down." He informed his cousin who was biologically his half-sister.

Hinata nodded and then opened her fan before addressing Temari. "I suppose I'll demonstrate how to properly use a fan in combat. Please watch carefully."

Temari, now fully dressed, was ready to throw a kunai at the back of Hinata's head as she jumped down.

Sasuke looked to Naruto. "The Hell is Neji's problem?"

Naruto soured at the question. "Eh, it's just Typical Hyuga Bullcrap. Hinata's going to fix him up proper."

"The Hyuga Family, they always struck me as inbred elitists." The Kazekage noted.

Sarutobi nodded. "Oh, they are. They have big families so they have plenty of second and third cousins to marry and keep the Byakugan in the family. But they diluted it a bit with this generation."

"So this Neji person," The Kazekage asked, "I hear he's a brilliant genius who has mastered techniques that the Branch House isn't even supposed to know."

"Yes, but…" There was suddenly a great noise like a hurricane going at full force, and Neji went up into the air and crashed to the ground a bruised and battered heap. "…Yeah…"

Standing over him, Hinata hid her mouth with a fan and let out a small giggle. "Neji-kun, that was for being so hostile to Naruto-san."

Lying on his back, Neji gurgled. "I'm sorry, Hinata-sama…"

"You are forgiven, Neji-kun." Hinata said, before a completely baffled Hayate shakily announced her winner.

Sasuke's lower jaw was hanging considerably below the railing he was leaning over. Naruto sighed in annoyance. "She's as big a showoff as you are."

Temari was in fear and horror at the strength of the victorious Genin. This was not in their intel. "What was that?"

"That was Hinata's Kaiten. It will kill you if you're not strong enough." Naruto said before he patted Sasuke on the shoulder. "Good luck next match!"

**Naruto vs. Gaara**

As Neji was carried off to the infirmary, Hayate looked over towards the stands. "Okay, next match is Naruto Uzumaki and Gaara…" Someone was missing. "Where's Gaara?"

"Present." Hayate screamed like a girl, fell, and crawled away from Gaara, who had been standing right behind him that entire time he spoke.

The ANBU standing guard next to Sarutobi buried her masked face in her palm and muttered "Damn it, Hayate."

Hinata jumped back up onto the staging area next to Naruto and held up her open fan to hide both their faces as she stole a kiss on his cheek from him "Do be careful, Naruto-san."

Pulling her fan away and closing it, Hinata joined Sasuke's side as Naruto grinned, fist-bumped the latter and waved to Sakura and Lee before he pitched himself off and down into the arena below.

Cheers went up from the Konoha stands as Naruto landed opposite of Gaara. While he was no Uchiha, this fight had been gaining considerable hype in the days leading to the third exam. The son of the Kazekage up against the boy who was like the son of the Hokage, facing off in the first round of the Tournament to get the energy going for Sasuke's match, which was touted by many as the Main Event.

"Hey Kazekage, my kid can beat up your kid." Sarutobi called the Kazekage out.

The Kazekage had just finished stamping his seal on the Hokage's wish-list, approving everything that he'd asked for on the list. "Sure, Hokage, want to make a wager?"

"I'm so confident that Naruto will win that I bet three Uchiha of your choice, four Hyuga, and this." He held up the sword of The Thunder God.

"You are cocky in your old age, Hokage," The Kazekage hissed back with a chuckle, "I bet my entire village. I'm that confident that your boy will lose under any and all circumstances."

Today was a good day to be Hiruzen Sarutobi. He quickly offered up a scroll he'd been writing the wager on even as he made it, and stamped his seal on it. "There you go, Kazekage."

The Kazekage chuckled deeply, and stamped his official seal on it as well. "I want Mikoto Uchiha, and both her sons."

"I want to turn Sunagakure into a gambler's paradise. Nice, desert location, perfect for cramming as many casinos as humanly possible." Sarutobi replied.

The Kazekage grinned behind his veil. What harm was there in making a bet like this, when in the next thirty minutes, Konoha would be a scorched, smoldering crater?

* * *

Naruto and Gaara stared each other down, Gaara looking happy to finally have his moment to fight Naruto. Naruto, regarded him passively, unconcerned by the murderous intent that had Hayate's knees shaking. Looking back and forth between the two, Hayate regained his composure and let out a cough.

"Okay…begin!" And then Hayate was gone to get as far away from this war zone as possible.

Naruto jumped back to open the distance between he and Gaara, who immediately began distributing a cloud of sand from his gourd. He wasn't about to get caught up in that directly. Gaara stared at Naruto, and hardened his defenses. He'd caught sight of Naruto's Chidori training, he knew what to expect.

"Come on Naruto, kick his sandy ass!" Sakura called out.

Lee was with her in cheering. "Erupt in a voluminous fire of YOUTH!"

"That's my boy, Lee! Encourage his raw determination!" A proud Gai also called out.

"Naruto! Naruto! Naruto! Naruto!" The Uchiha section was chanting, largely because they wanted to see him and Sasuke fight it out in the end.

He tuned it all out, though, as he stared at Gaara. "I said I was going to mop the floor with you and your pathetic justification, right?

The area around Gaara increased, as he answered. "Come then, and realize how futile your existence is."

Naruto did the opposite, retreating backwards and up the side of the arena wall and right to the top of it. On reaching the top, he stared down at Gaara and nodded as he removed his glasses and slipped them into place under his forehead protector. "Okay."

He then began to count some math in his head, while drawing a mental diagram of the arena, Gaara, and his location with his fingers. Once he was satisfied with his calculations, he quickly performed his now favorite hand seal.

"MULTIPLE SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

There was a great blast of smoke, and then the entire wall of the arena was orange and yellow from the sheer number of Naruto clones standing atop and on the wall almost halfway to the bottom. It surprised Gaara, and downright baffled Temari and Kankuro.

"What the…? All of those Shadow Clones?" Kankuro asked.

Temari frowned as she did the numbers. "There has to be…at least five hundred of them!"

"Oh my, Naruto-san." Hinata giggled behind her fan. He was going to do something amazing, she was sure.

Sasuke activated his Sharingan to get a look at the clones. "Yes, that's genuine Shadow Clone, but there's a lot of chakra going on there in the copies, way more than needed."

Then they heard it, the sound of a thousand birds singing…then two thousand…three, four…the sound became louder, and louder…becoming a roar of hundreds of thousands of birds. But more important than the sound was the light of the technique that created the sound, casting a very long shadow behind Gaara as he stared at the unexpected sight.

Back at the top of the wall, Naruto slipped on a pair of sunglasses handed to him by one of his clones as they all readied their Chidori.

"Lightning Release: Five Hundred Thousand Birds Singing." He declared the name of the attack.

Gaara scowled and prepared to defend himself.

Naruto pointed. "Get him!"

The mob of electricity generating Naruto charged, moving down the wall in a colossal stampede that shook the arena. Gaara's sand exploded outward around him in waves to prevent the charge, but the clones either avoided the streams or leaped over it and closed in.

Gaara created more sand from the dried ground behind him, and attacked the clones, taking down the brunt of the wave with spears of the tightly packed earth, knowing that if a single one got past, his Earth-based armor wouldn't be able to stop the Lightning-based attack.

The clones were going down in droves, torn apart by the sand, though some managed to get as close as within ten feet of Gaara, there was no breaching his defenses as his eyes darted wildly over the disposable horde.

"Well, so much for that." A much more relaxed Temari said as she watched the flashy attack get ground down by Gaara's near-perfect defense. The Konoha Ninja were equally shocked by the failure of the technique, which left nothing but a bunch of smoke and a large pile of sand all over the arena floor.

Gaara, wide-eyed, looked around at the aftermath of the attack. He had gotten them all, but where was the real Naruto? He looked back up at the top of the wall, he was still there?

Then that Naruto vanished in a puff of smoke, but it was too late for Gaara to react. Coming from under a sand-colored tarp directly behind Gaara, Naruto charged and smashed a Chidori into the Sand-nin, punching through the gourd, his sand armor and flesh alike to impale him through the left side with such force it lifted Gaara off his feet.

As Gaara froze from the burning pain running through his system, Naruto put his foot on Gaara's back, and kicked him off his hand, dropping him like a rock in his own pile of sand.

When Gaara hit the ground, the Chidori was the only sound left in the arena before it ceased, leaving nothing but a few bits of dried blood on Naruto's arm.

Temari gripped the railing so hard it dented under her grip as she stared at the scene in total dread. "Gaara…he…he did that to Gaara…?"

"We're doomed." Kankuro blurted out under his breath. "We are so doomed."

Baki didn't like what he saw. No, he hated it. Gaara, just like that, had been run completely through by that ward of the Hokage. This was bad, no, horrifying. If Gaara was dead, well he was dead, but if he wasn't…

Gaara began to move. He was still alive, which meant that he was in pain, which meant only one thing: He was going to flip out and kill everyone.

Panting, Gaara strained to move, but even the slightest movement created a searing, thought consuming sensation that he couldn't describe. It was like nothing he ever felt before, and it was coming from his side. What was this blinding sensation? Why wouldn't it stop?

Gaara slowly got up, despite how much the sensation tried to make him stop, and he clamped his hand over its source, the exit wound over his gut that Naruto's hand made. "What…what is this…?"

He pulled his hand away and looked at his palm and saw bright crimson blood all over it. "Blood…I'm bleeding…?"

It was Naruto's turn to be upset. There was no way he should've been able to get up from that hit so quickly. So this is what Demon Containers were like. This was not good.

"I should've severed his spine." Naruto muttered.

Gaara let out a bestial roar. "I'M BLEEDING! IT HURTS! IT HURTS!"

His sand went haywire, lashing out at everything within reach. Naruto wisely dashed clear of the attack, jumping back up to the wall as streams of sand smashed the ground, trees and wall of the arena.

Up in the stands, Mikoto rose as she activated her Sharingan. "This isn't good, Sunagakure's demon container is about to change into its Beast State!"

She looked about the other Uchiha, who were likewise already on their feet. "Quickly, begin evacuating the spectators before it completely changes-!"

Mikoto had seen the kunai thrown for her head and would have intercepted it herself, if not for the senbon needle thrown by Haku that deflected it straight up. The kunai came down harmlessly for her to catch and she then threw it right back, impaling the face of the Sound-nin that threw it right as he cast off his disguise.

"Great, the corpses have decided to reveal themselves." She said before she threw off the kimono she wore, revealing her ANBU uniform. Around her, the Uchiha spectators threw off their own attire to reveal their Military Police Uniforms.

As Sound Ninja began to attack about the arena, Mikoto called out as she put on a Tengu mask. "Konoha Military Police, these are your orders! Suppress the attackers and secure the arena!"

And with that, the Uchiha Clan joined the battle.

Back up in the Hokage's seat, Sarutobi sighed as he began to see the first signs of combat going on below. The Kazekage was looking directly at him, as were his two bodyguards. Glancing at the Kazekage, Sarutobi looked back down at the unfolding chaos and then asked.

"Shall we get this over with, Orochimaru?"

The eyes of the Kazekage widened, and then he let out a very sinister laugh. "I was wondering when you'd put an end to this charade."

An explosion of smoke and light followed, and the Kazekage with the Hokage as his hostage leaped into the air to jump to the roof. A split second later, the Kazekage hit the roof with enough force to tear a long gash into it, as Sarutobi landed nearby, dusting off his robe.

"Stupid, stupid student, didn't I tell you to not show your face around here unless you could surprise me?" Sarutobi asked.

In that instant, the Hokage was stabbed by a sword held by the extending arm of the Kazekage, who rose to his feet like a rag doll and floated into the air, revealing behind him the unmistakable black and red robe of Akatsuki wrapped around its puppet master, Sasori.

The hunchbacked Akatsuki member lifted up his straw hat, as the likewise robed Orochimaru stepped from behind him and smiled.

"Are you surprised, sensei?"

* * *

"That smoke bomb, it's the signal!" Kankuro said as Gaara's sand began to crawl up the walls.

Temari nodded. "Let's get moving!"

"Signal for what?" Sakura cried out before both Temari and Kankuro leaped up to a higher level of the arena. It all clicked in her head when she saw two Sound Ninja leap past the Sand Genin and rushed straight for her and Lee with kunai drawn.

What a terrible mistake on their part. Sakura snapped her attacker's neck with a kick to the head as Lee crushed the other's ribcage with a single punch; the two Sound-nin corpses went spiraling through the air lifelessly above Sakura to her left and smashing through the wall behind Lee respectively.

"Ninja are attacking Konoha." Sakura said.

"Otogakure Ninja, no less!" Lee said.

Sakura nodded and both she and Lee ducked under a few kunai thrown at them. Their attackers regretted it, as they were quickly sliced to bits by both Sasuke's ninjato and Hinata's fans. The two Genin Geniuses landed on the railing as Shikamaru walked over with his hands in his pockets.

"What a pain," He said, "I was hoping to go home after the first round was done and get some sleep."

Sasuke stared at the rising sand below. "Gaara is a demon container, and he's about to let the tanuki out of the jar, if you will."

"We must do something, but what?" Lee asked.

Sasuke answered. "We get the Hell out of here, where did Naruto go?"

"Naruto-san is on the other side of the arena." Hinata said as she pulled her fox mask from her jacket and put it on.

Sure enough, there he was, watching the unfolding situation with Gaara. Sasuke prepared his ninjato and looked to the others. "Get out of the arena. The Military Police and Jonin should take care of attackers inside. We need to get in position to defend the rest of Konoha!"

"And you?" Shikamaru asked.

"I'm going to backup Naruto. Now go!" Sasuke took off with that, leaving the rest behind.

"You're going to back him up? Hey!" Sakura gave up and turned her attention towards the upper levels. He was right and besides, Temari and Kankuro were still on the loose.

"Wait, where did Shino go?" Shikamaru asked when he noticed the quiet bug user was not present.

Hinata knew where he was. "He went to go have his match."

The sounds of high speed Ninja Combat was growing closer. Sakura called out. "No time to worry about it, let's go!"

Sakura, Lee, Shikamaru, and Hinata immediately took off to join the battle.

Naruto stared down at the rapidly rising sand. Gaara was nowhere to be seen but he was pretty sure he was still down there. He needed to do something to buy time for the Military Police to wrap up with securing the spectators and step in. Fortunately for him, he had no problem getting Gaara's attention. Unfortunately for him, he had Gaara's attention.

Two large claws of dense sand smashed into the wall below, sending long cracks up it towards Naruto. The sand below the arms shifted upward, and then the face of the One-Tailed Shukaku emerged with its jaws wide open to crush Naruto in them.

It was at the last moment Naruto jumped clear, and the One-Tailed Beast smashed through the wall and into the trees outside it. It hit the ground with a colossal crash, and then turned around to stare up at Naruto.

Naruto, back up on his feet, saw nothing but sand as it came up and over the wall to smother him like a wave splashing over a seawall. Before even a speck of it could dirty his shirt, Sasuke grabbed him and dove clear of it, sending them both tumbling across the top of the wall just ahead of the sand flood.

"Damn, damn, damn, DAMN!" Naruto yelled while he rolled along. He jumped to his feet as Sasuke did the same, and both watched as the massive form of Shukaku rose up over the wall and began to tower over the already gigantic arena.

Its large, claw-like tail lashed about in the air, before it smashed into the ground, creating a massive shockwave that felled trees and knocked over buildings nearby. The beast then let out a yell.

"NARUTO UZUMAKI!"

Sasuke glanced at Naruto. "He's already a fan."

Naruto tried his best to keep his composure. "We got to lead him away from here!"

Sasuke performed hand-seals. "Then let's not waste time!"

He took a deep breath, and then unleashed a gigantic fireball that smashed into Shukaku's face, causing him to roar in anger. As the flames cleared, he spotted both Naruto and Sasuke leaping from the wall and breaking for a run away from the stadium and the center of the village. Ignoring the battle going on in the arena and spreading outside it, the tailed beast tore off after the two Genin, wanting nothing else but to kill Naruto in his frenzy.

Baki had already gotten outside the arena, and was rushing to meet up with the rest of Sand's forces when he saw the Shukaku break out of the wall…going in the entirely wrong direction. "Gaara's out of control, I knew he was a liability. The Kazekage will not be pleased."

A few rooftops behind, Temari and Kankuro saw Gaara tearing off in the wrong way as well. "Great, they're leading him away from the village! The whole plan's been screwed in the ass!"

"Well if you're willing to complain about it, why don't you go right up to Gaara and give him a piece of your mind!" Temari snapped at him.

The two Sand-nin joined Baki, and Kankuro pointed towards the trail of dust and sand running off into the distance. "Baki-sensei, what do we do now?"

"Continue with the operation. We still have sufficient manpower from our village and Sound." Even as Baki gave his orders, there was a rumbling as several giant snakes smashed through the walls on the edge of the village.

Looking away from the unimaginable din, he yelled to his two students. "We can handle Gaara after we've destroyed the village. First, we're going to secure this area so that-!"

A flying guillotine, its approach masked by the din of the invasion and battle, popped up from below the rooftop behind Baki and clamped securely around his head, surprising him. Before he could try to defend or escape the trap, the chain on the end of the weapon was pulled taut and it was yanked away…taking his head with it.

The weapon carved an arc through the air as it returned to the hand of its owner, standing atop a nearby roof. Looking at the weapon's prize, she released the catch, and allowed Baki's head to roll off the roof and to the street below. Temari and Kankuro, on seeing Baki's killer, could not believe their eyes.

"You've got to be kidding me." Temari snarled as she took her fan off her back and Kankuro undid the bindings on his puppet, Karasu.

Swinging the flying guillotine around, by its cloth-wrapped chain, Tenten grinned specifically at Temari. "I've been waiting a whole month for this, Sand Bitch. Don't disappoint me."

* * *

Sarutobi sighed and took stock of the situation. His village was in flames, his Ninja were fighting for their lives, he was bleeding out from a sword stabbed into his gut, and one of his students was laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world.

Yes, it was his wedding day all over again.

"Well, I just made myself a little sad." Sarutobi lamented when he remembered his dear departed wife and what ranked as the best day ever for him. Oh well, he had to focus on that whole village being burned to the ground thing.

In front of him, Orochimaru finished laughing at the furious combat going on around them and stared his teacher down as a barrier appeared and extended above their heads atop the pagoda roof. Sand and Sound's operation against Konoha had begun, and with it the dramatic confrontation between master and pupil…and pupil's puppet pal.

"I would be more surprised about you mastering your abominable little trick Orochimaru, but you gave it away too early." Sarutobi said.

Orochimaru smiled. "Leave it to The Professor to figure me out to still be alive, tell me…how did you do it?"

Sarutobi reached down and yanked the sword out of his gut, and promptly threw it with enough force to slice the puppet Kazekage in half. "Yes, you made it rather painfully obvious by allowing a Genin to kill you in one shot, but I commend your prudence in making it a puppet to deceive my ninja. You even kept the organs fresh."

"I do good work." Sasori commented.

"Bitches don't speak unless spoken to." Sarutobi snapped at Sasori, before addressing Orochimaru. "So what is it that you're here for, Orochimaru? You're not the revenge-seeking type, and Akatsuki doesn't exactly condone this sort of thing. So for what shits and giggles have you come to my village with not one but two armies?"

Honestly, Sarutobi was a little flattered by that. How many other Kage had their students make up an entire Ninja village specifically to kill them? None, that's how many.

"Shits and giggles? I'm offended, sensei, you act like I'm out for just a cheap thrill." Orochimaru bantered back. "I'm here because these peaceful days are so dull, like a windmill that doesn't move. I want to make the windmill spin again, with the fall of Konoha as the wind."

Sarutobi forgot his injury, because that simile was far more painful. He looked at the four ninja who had created the smoky, purple barrier that surrounded him and his opponents and mused over how he'd bring it down–huh, that one chick has a sweet ass. At least he hoped it was a chick, meeting Haku for the first time was a little awkward.

As if sensing his eyes on her, the redheaded Sound Ninja glanced over to her nearest teammate. "Let's get the barrier up on the inside, now."

The four ninja erect another barrier, protecting themselves from possible attacks inside the barrier. Sarutobi shrugged his shoulders in disappointment, and looked back at Orochimaru.

"I'm a little disappointed, sensei; I thought you'd be a little more serious given the gravity of your situation." Orochimaru taunted.

Sarutobi narrowed his eyes. "Oh I'm plenty serious, foolish student. But you should reflect on your own dire situation."

"Oh?" Orochimaru let out an effeminate chuckle. "What would that be?"

"You're locked in an inescapable barrier with your teacher, who taught you everything you know, and is already fed up with your asinine crap."

Orochimaru actually recoiled at that, his eyes wide. Sasori looked over to him, wondering what the meaning of that reaction was, until Orochimaru began laughing, sinisterly at first, but then shifting into outright maniacal laughter before he leaned forward and slapped his knee.

"Oh sensei…if anything is improving in your old age, it's your bravado." Orochimaru said before several dozen blurs rushed past him, one of Sasori's secret techniques, relegated for combat against ninja of Sarutobi's caliber.

Sarutobi sniffed. "So this is the One Hundred Puppet Performance." He said as the wave of puppets descended upon him.

* * *

"So, Sasuske!" Naruto called to his fellow ninja as they rushed through one of the dense woodlands of Konoha. "Do you have any plans?"

"I have at least three for most situations. And you?" Sasuke replied as he leaped over a branch that attempted to thwart his flight.

Naruto counted on one hand. "At least five, I like to have plans in plans. Kakashi-sensei says that's important. But do any of yours involve the thing trying to kill us right now?"

He gestured back to the One-Tailed Tanuki, or rather the wave of sentient sand that was destroying everything in its path in pursuit of them.

Sasuke looked ahead. "Not at the moment, no."

Naruto was out too, and the Konoha Wall was coming up. "That makes two of us, so we might have to just go all out."

"A full-powered assault?" Sasuke was not so sure about that, for a number of good reasons. "You used a lot of chakra earlier, and we don't have any support. If we can't stop that thing, we're dead."

"Well we're dead running from it, or we're dead fighting it! And don't worry about chakra, I'm good!" Naruto sped up, Sasuke following, and they opened up the distance between themselves and Shukaku, reaching the wall and running up its perfectly vertical slope until they reached the top.

Sasuke drew his ninjato, as Naruto put his glasses back on, and they watched as the advancing horizontal landslide slowed to a halt and then began to transform, ground upward and becoming the massive form of the Shukaku. From the forehead of the beast, Gaara emerged, his wound now fully healed, and his eyes narrowed in rage.

"You…" Gaara's voice was amplified by the beast he was connected to. "…You worthless waste of existence…how dare someone like you…hurt me?"

Naruto frowned. "I really should've severed his spine."

Sasuke agreed. "Yeah, you should've."

"I refuse to let someone like you kill me. I have killed too many people to be erased by a cocky little trickster who can't even save himself; there is no sense in that!" Gaara yelled.

"There's no sense in your logic!" Naruto shouted. "People kill each other all the time; who determines if that makes your existence more valid than anyone else's!"

"He's not going to listen." Sasuke warned. Or worse, he was going to go into some sad sob story.

Gaara smirked. "A recognized ninja is one with a high body count. The more lives you take, the more others will fear you, and if you die, you are only a kill–a notch in another ninja's belt. None of your prior achievements matter."

Naruto growled. "That doesn't make your logic any better! You're just afraid to actually try living!"

"Naruto, please don't give him a hook!" Sasuke complained.

"Afraid?" Gaara snarled back. "I've already tried your weak way of living, of relying on and loving others, but no one wanted to love me. They only saw me for the monster I was named." Gaara brought his hand to his forehead. "I am only a demon who loves myself, my own love is all that I need, the only thing I need from you is your blood-!"

Gaara's sand suddenly swirled up behind him and narrowly blocked a scroll aimed at the back of his head. Looking back, he saw a Naruto clone perform the release, and the scroll turned into a massive drum filled with gunpowder and explosive tags.

"Naruto Uzumaki you bas-!"

The explosion that followed flattened any nearby tree still standing and created a mushroom cloud. Hiding on the other side of the wall, Sasuke and Naruto shared a bro-fist.

"Using Gaara's own mental issues and self-obsessed behavior to distract him as we formulate and execute a plan…Naruto, you are a genius." Sasuke said.

"Yep." Naruto replied as he adjusted his glasses.

* * *

Temari opened her fan, revealing all three circles across it as she glared with all of her hatred at Tenten. "You, don't think because you got a lucky kill that you'll be able to beat me!" It hurt to refer to Baki like that, but she was a ninja in the heat of battle, emotions had to be suppressed.

Tenten scratched the bridge of her nose as she kept twirling around her flying guillotine. "Shut up, I'm here to pay you back."

Temari clenched her teeth. "You seem to forget last time!" She swung her fan, displacing the air and creating a massive tornado that bored straight to Tenten, who wisely flickered away from its path. Landing on another rooftop Tenten tossed away the guillotine and pulled out several throwing stars.

Seeing this, Temari grimaced. "You really did forget." Something large landed behind Tenten, as Temari added. "And it gets worse for you. You're not just fighting me."

Tenten didn't even have a chance to look back as the blades of Kankuro's formerly wrapped ninja puppet Karasu impaled her through her heart with its equipped blades and lifted her off the ground. Behind Temari's fan, Kankuro smirked as he twitched his fingers, and the puppet threw Tenten to the ground.

Temari frowned, as Tenten's body promptly turned into a log. Behind Karasu, Tenten glared at Shino as he stood up from saving her. "Aburame, why…?"

"Draw the cow away; I want to have my fight." Shino replied calmly, none too happy about a lot of things at the moment and becoming unhappier by the second.

Tenten got up and dusted herself off. "Do you think you can even take him?"

"Oh I've already won, I just want to savor the victory and I can't do that with you idiots menstruating at each other." Shino replied.

Tenten recoiled a bit. "You're a little rude."

Shino sighed. "I'm really aggravated right now."

"That makes two of us." Tenten looked back at Temari and Kankuro, as the puppet withdrew. "They're not dumb though, they're not going to put themselves in a situation where they can't support each other."

"Then let's give them what they want, do you have an actual plan for her?" Shino asked.

Tenten sniffed "Yes, but I'll need an open space."

"Alright, I'll help you and distract the other one." Shino got ready. "They're going to attack now."

Both ninja quickly flickered, dodging the tornado that Temari launched at them. "Seriously, what's with these Konoha idiots?"

"They're idiots, but don't lower your guard." Kankuro warned her as he urged Karasu to move. "The Aburame kid wants to fight me, so I'll give him more than he can bargain for."

"Yeah, yeah." Temari quickly disappeared, and reappeared on another rooftop, in front of Tenten. "Hey."

Tenten rapidly shot back from her, and threw a pair of kunai at her. Both weapons were deflected effortlessly. "You know," Temari said as she swung her fan, "Stupidity is defined as performing the same failing task repeatedly and expecting a different result!"

She swung her fan again, the air pressure ripping apart the roof as Tenten evaded again, jumping to a higher rooftop. Swinging it the other way, she created an even bigger pressure wave, clearing the air in front of her briefly before it shattered the face of the building Tenten had landed on.

"That's insanity, you idiot!" Tenten yelled back, before a shadow fell over her. Looking up, she quickly dodged out of the way of Temari as she dropped out of the sky and attempted to use her fan as a club.

Tenten grinned and threw several throwing stars. "Got you!"

They seemed to arc around Temari as she got up and raced at the Konoha Genin. "No, got you."

She swung the closed fan, air circulating it like a blade, but missed as Tenten intentionally tripped on the edge of the roof and flipped down top land on a lower roof. Turning, she leaped and landed on an even lower roof, only three stories above the ground.

Tenten looked back up at Temari and gestured for her to come get her. Temari was not amused. "Cheeky little bitch."

She simply used another wind blast technique to level the building entirely, and quickly tracked Tenten leaping back and forth between the walls of nearby buildings. As she watched her go, she immediately realized her error. "crap, where'd the other one go?"

A buzzing alerted her, and she banished the swarm of insects that tried to converge on her from above with her fan. Tossed about by the wind, the insect swarm quickly regrouped and converged towards her again before she turned and fled. She looked around, Aburame were the masters of sitting back and letting their bugs fight for them, the little punk could be anywhere. She had to keep moving and hoped that Kankuro was watching her back.

"Where did you go, Leaf bitch?" She quickly spotted Tenten, still fleeing for the edges of the buildings, and bolted after her. "There you go!"

Kankuro grimaced as he scanned his surroundings, he too was moving from roof to roof, knowing full well how dangerous an Aburame ninja could be. Keeping Karasu a step ahead of that Leaf kunoichi while looking out for the Aburame's bugs was taxing, but unlike Temari, he hadn't lost track of him. In fact, he knew exactly where he was hiding.

As he ran across a particularly broad apartment rooftop, he suddenly yanked on his puppet's chakra strings, throwing Karasu through the air and over his head. The puppet fell over the side of the building to the right, and suddenly opened its arms in the narrow gap, stopping its fall. From every joint and juncture in the puppet's body, thick poison gas spewed outward and just as quickly Shino flung himself from the cloud, his arm covering his mouth.

"Poison Gas!" Shino coughed out landed on the roof opposite of Kankuro, trying to expel the potent gas, but to the Sand Ninja it was already apparent that it was too late.

Kankuro frowned. "Is that it, really?"

Karasu landing alongside him, Kankuro followed Shino along the trail of dead insects that he left as he began to hobble away, wobbling and coughing as the poison began its slow effect. He really didn't have time to watch him die; there was a lot more to do, and a lot more Konoha Ninja to kill.

"You talked that crap before, and now look at you." Kankuro said as he sent Karasu towards Shino. "Nothing personal, kid, but you were dead from the moment you thought you could take me."

Extending its poison coated wrist-mounted blades; Karasu lunged towards Shino and promptly stabbed him in the back with both, right through the heart. Feigning a grimace, Kankuro had Karasu stab him again to make sure, except that Karasu didn't move. "What the…?"

His chakra strings vanished, and he looked down to see many swarms of insects all over his arms, and his shoulders. Eyes widening, he looked down and saw that the trail of dead insects was gone…no…it was now crawling all over his body!

"The Aburame Clan's Destruction Beetles are specially bred and cultivated to survive most poisons." Shino said, as he landed next to Kankuro, having finally emerged from his hiding place. "Yours is nothing new to them."

Kankuro looked from Shino to the one he had Karasu stab, and was horrified to see it crumble away into many bugs. "A clone made of bugs…?"

He tried to move, but he couldn't, his strength was being sapped away by the voracious beetles. He looked up at Shino, who stared down at him. "If you had fought me during our match, maybe you would've learned something to prepare yourself for this. Naruto was right; you Sand Ninja are extremely stupid."

Kankuro swore under his breath. "It doesn't matter now, once Gaara is finished with your friend, nothing's stopping him from…" Shino interrupted him with a heel to his jaw.

"Shut up and die quietly, it shouldn't take long now." Shino said. "I want to savor my victory."

* * *

Tenten leaped off a roof and fell towards the ground, landing in a tumble and coming to a halt in a grassy clearing across the street from the buildings, which lead into dense woodland. Staring at the trees, she turned around and grew wide-eyed as Temari hurtled down towards her, her fan raised above her head.

Immediately Tenten drew a scroll, but before she could unseal it, Temari swung her fan, creating a massive pressure wave that crushed Tenten flat, and left a wide dent in the grassy ground. As the winds spread across the clearing, Temari landed at the edge of the depression, and closed her fan.

Panting, Temari walked over to Tenten, who let out a groan as she tried to get up. Temari drew a kunai, as she stepped closer to the injured kunoichi. Normally, a quick slice to the throat would be the end of it. But she was angry; this dumb little crap after all killed her teacher.

Grabbing Tenten by one of her hair buns, she hoisted the injured girl up. "You think that because you got lucky once, that you're hot crap?" She punched Tenten in the face with the hand that gripped the kunai. "I've got news for you, little girl, a ninja who can't adapt to a situation and come up with something new is a dead one." She punched her again, and Tenten yelled in pain. "The only reason you're even still alive." She punched once more. "Is because of those guys on your team!"

She punched her again. "You're dead weight!"

Another punch. "You're a useless lump with nothing going for her but a bunch of weapons you can't even use right!"

Yet another punch and Tenten was thrown onto her back. Unable to contain her anger, Temari looked at the kunai, before tossing it aside and redrawing her fan. "There's no way trash like you should've been able to kill Baki!"

She stopped, as she raised her weapon, and went wide-eyed. Tenten's body had begun to rapidly decay. No, not decay…disintegrate into countless hundreds, thousands of the Aburame Clan's insects. In the same instant that the horrified realization dawned on her, the end of a katana emerged from her stomach.

Behind her, holding the sword, Tenten leaned against Temari's back. "I'll admit that you beat me fair and square before, but unlike some idiots, I learn from my defeats."

She shoved Temari off her sword, and the injured Sand Kunoichi staggered forward…before exploding into a log. Tenten's eyes went wide, as the real Temari, up in the trees, aimed and swung her fan, creating a focused tornado that engulfed Tenten and all but ripped her to shreds, the blades of wind tearing her cloths, lacerating her skin, and undoing one of her hair buns before it ceased, leaving the Leaf Ninja to fall to one knee, supported on her sword.

Temari shook her head. "Learn all you want, read a whole freaking library for all I care! You're not good enough to beat me!"

Tenten pushed herself up, and began to laugh. "You're right…I'm not good enough." She looked down at the sword and the blood from her wounds running down it. "Compared to powerhouses like Lee, and the real geniuses like Neji, and guys like Naruto who just seem to thrive no matter what…I'm pretty much nothing."

She looked up at Temari. "I feel like a placeholder, sometimes, like I'm only there on my Genin team to round out everything. I'm not even given a tenth of the attention my sensei gives to his hard-worker and his genius…so it's only fitting that I didn't make the cut."

Something wasn't right; Temari could feel it, as chakra began to waft from Temari's body. "But I don't want to be a placeholder…I want to be a strong ninja…a great ninja. I'd do anything to become that…"

Temari's eyes widened, as what looked like fire began to radiate outward across Tenten's skin from under her shirt, and the chakra radiating from her turned a noxious violet. "What is this…?"

The fire crawled up her neck and over her face, all the way up to her hairline, where it burned brightly and then dulled into vertical black marks. Tenten then smiled a broad, sickening smile as she felt the tainted power course through her chakra paths. "…I'd even sell my body."

Tenten was suddenly gone, just not there anymore. The tree Temari stood upon then exploded, or rather was sliced with such force that it flew apart. She had barely recovered in mid-air, when Tenten appeared before her and kicked her in the face, sending her crashing into the ground and tumbling along the grass.

Hurtling towards the ground, Tenten quickly summoned a pair of weighted chains and threw them, the weights looping around Temari's arms from her elbows to her shoulders. Landing, Tenten yanked on the chains and swung Temari around, laughing as the Sand kunoichi slammed roughly into the side of another tree shoulder first, a sickening crack sounding from the impact.

Tightening her hold on the chains, Tenten laughed as Temari hit the ground, stunned by the force of the impact. "Hey, was that your shoulder? It sounded like it. Which part, the clavicle or scapula, or maybe both?"

She began dragging Temari towards her, giggling. "Either way it must really hurt, huh? HUH?"

Lifting Temari off the ground, she swung the captured kunoichi over her head and slammed her down onto the ground, making sure she landed on the injured arm. Temari screamed from the impact, and looked back up at Tenten. What was going on with this one? When did she get this kind of strength?

Tenten swung Temari around again, but this time threw her up and over a branch. As Temari fell towards the ground, Tenten cut the slack, stopping her from hitting the ground but making sure most of the force was carried to her broken arm. As Temari screamed in pain, Tenten used her katana to secure the two chains into the ground, stabbing through the loops and leaving her hanging in the air at just above eye level.

Tenten stepped back as Temari looked down at her, her vision blurred by both anger and pain. Her fan was lying on the ground, Temari having lost it when Tenten attacked violently, it was no matter. With her arm busted, and her hands immobilized above her head she couldn't do anything.

"Now then…let's have our rematch, shall we?" She pulled out four shurikens. "Let's start with a _warm up_."

She then threw them straight for Temari's defenseless body.

* * *

The explosion that Naruto and Sasuke had set off had caught a lot of attention. In the streets of Konoha, amidst the bodies of Sand and Sound mooks, a blood drenched Sakura looked up and at the mushroom cloud billowing over the edge of the village perimeter. Behind her, his fist still inserted in the skull of another unlucky ninja, Lee reacted with his usual over the top manner.

"Naruto! Sasuke!" He ripped his hand out of the corpse's skull and flicked the brain matter off his fingers. "I hope they're alright!"

"Knowing Naruto-san, he likely caused it." Hinata said as she flicked the blood from one of her fans, much like Sakura and Lee, she was splattered in the blood of her opponents from head to toe. It was going to be such a bother to get the stains from her mask.

Shikamaru, not so much as a speck of blood on his clothes, leaned back against the wall of the building whose shadow he used to capture the slaughtered ninja. Ambush tactics were fun. "Come on guys, did you have to use that much force? These ninja were bleeders."

"It's not every day we get to rip people to shreds, you know." Sakura picked up the head of a ninja Hinata decapitated. "Wow, this is a really clean cut. You know, I have been looking for a place to store my bottle caps."

"Ugh…why the Hell is Naruto attracted to you?" Shikamaru asked.

Watching the mushroom cloud billow, Shino looked down at Kankuro, who was slowly suffering. "Hey, I think that Gaara guy you were talking about before is done."

"Mother…fugherrrr…" Kankuro groaned.

Standing over a heap of Sound ninja corpses in the stands of the arena, Mikoto folded her arms and shook her head. "Those boys…I'm glad Sarutobi didn't put them on the same team."

There wouldn't be much of a Konoha left before long, in that case.

Haku tossed another corpse on the pile. "You Konoha Ninja are all very scary."

Down at ground zero, Naruto and Sasuke leaped from the wall and onto some of the very few trees still standing after the explosion. Naruto looked over to Sasuke. "Why did you even have that thing in a scroll?"

"My brother Itachi says that you should plan for every contingency. Who knows when you might need the explosive equivalent of ten-thousand pounds of black powder?"

"Your brother is so cool."

"I know, man."

They looked at the sand that laid everywhere, before Naruto spoke. "Well, he's still alive, that's good."

"Yes, if we'd have killed him Shukaku would be rampaging all over the place." Sasuke scanned the sands. "Where is he, though?"

Naruto frowned. "Can't you use your Sharingan?"

"Not now, no. I promised not to." Sasuke wasn't about to break his vow to his mother unless absolutely necessary.

"I see…" Naruto stopped when he saw the sand shift. "I think he's waking up."

Both Konoha Genin were on their guard in an instant, as the shifting became more pronounced. Then the earth started shaking to the tune of a deep, deranged chuckle. In front of the two ninja, the sands swirled and swelled, coalescing and taking the form of the one-tailed Shukaku once again. However, it was frighteningly clear to both that things were going to be different this time.

"I'M FINALLY FREE! YES!" Shukaku screamed.

Naruto made a mental note to write down ten thousand pounds of black powder under "list of things that will most certainly kill a demon container".

Shukaku then looked down at them both. Sasuke and Naruto wisely turned and ran for their lives. "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap…!"

"Look at that, I'm free, and already there's people to kill." Shukaku said cheerfully before opening his mouth wide. "DRILLING AIR BULLET!"

Both Ninja disappeared from the path of the attack, which punched through the same wall that withstood the energy of five tons of explosives like it was a thin sheet of rice paper. Reappearing near that same hole, Naruto and Sasuke looked up at Shukaku, who was preparing another attack.

"RUN!" Naruto yelled before he and Sasuke were forced to flicker away from another Air Bullet. They had to run, and fast, but there was NO way they could lead this thing back towards Konoha.

They changed direction, going straight up the wall to avoid anorther Air Bullet, and quickly reached the top of the now crumbling section of wall. Roaring savagely, Shukaku pounced on both, only to miss and smash completely through the village's wall. Tumbling along the top of the wall, Naruto jumped up as Sasuke slid to a halt past him.

"Of all the time to feel like a Genin…" He groaned as the thrashing beast of sand got back up onto its feet, and raised its tail to swing down on them. Both he and Sasuke turned and jumped back off the wall, falling away from it as the tail cleaved clean through it, sending boulders and rocks falling towards them.

Grabbing hold of a house-sized boulder, Naruto scrambled and ran across it before leaping to into the air. Twisting his body in the air, he quickly performed a hand seal, and lit up the Chidori. Swinging his arm, he sliced through another boulder and kicked off another rock to avoid an Air Bullet that vaporized it.

As Naruto fell through the air, Sasuke kicked off another falling and both Ninja landed hard on the ground after, sliding along the sand and looking up at Shukaku as it grasped the destroyed edges of the wall and peered in, growling loudly.

Outside of the few times he ever saw his parents angry about something, and when Shisui told him about the time he saw Itachi ever get angry about something, Sasuke was pretty sure he'd never seen anything more worthy of inducing the phrase "I'm screwed".

Sasuke looked over to Naruto, who was slowly getting back up, and then back at the Shukaku. "We don't have a choice; we'll have to go all out, won't we?"

"Yeah." Naruto replied as Shukaku opened his mouth. Streams of sand began to escape his body, and swirl towards his opened maw, coming together to form a large ball of sand that quickly began growing in size and density. "Oh no, that can't be good."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "No, no it can't. Naruto, whatever you have in mind…do it before it does whatever it's about to do!"

Naruto performed hand seals, and began performing what Sasuke realized was a simple chakra concentration exercise. "Alright Sasuke, I need you to distract him for about…thirty seconds."

Thirty seconds? There was only one thing Sasuke could possibly think to do in thirty seconds, returning his gaze to the Shukaku, he closed his eyes.

Reaching the top of the arena, Mikoto, Haku, and several other Uchiha police stopped and stared at the Shukaku, and the posture it was in. Her Mangekyo Sharingan zooming in, Mikoto was filled with dread as she saw the sand collecting near its mouth. "It's about to use the Tailed Beast Bomb!"

Haku looked at Mikoto. "The what?"

"The attack that is about to destroy Konoha and kill every living thing in it." One of the Uchiha, Shisui, clarified.

"We need to get out there before it can fire it, a pair of Genin by themselves won't be able to stop it!" Yet another Uchiha declared.

Mikoto wasn't sure if there'd be any time for it, they'd likely be killed before even getting halfway to where the Shukaku was. There really was only one hope to stopping it from happening. "Sasuke…" She narrowed her eyes. "…Use it."

Naruto's teeth were bared and clenched as he struggled to convert as much chakra into stamina as possible, when he noticed black streams running down Sasuke's cheeks out the corner of his eyes. Looking over, he recoiled in surprise when he saw that Sasuke was bleeding from his closed eyes, black blood no less.

"Yes, yes…hold still for a little longer…" Shukaku growled gleefully, before he noticed what was happening on Sasuke's face. "Wait…blood? No, you're not a…!"

"Uh, Sasuke…?" Naruto murmured before Sasuke opened his eyes and a black flame like the one they encountered in the forest of death suddenly erupted all over Shukaku's face. "Whoa!"

The effects of the flames were instantaneous, scattering the dense sands as Shukaku roared and recoiled, trying to beat the flames from his face. "AHH! YOU ARE! AN UCHIHA! YOU HAVE THOSE EYES!"

"That's right! This is the Mangekyo Sharingan, the eyes you beasts fear!" Sasuke yelled as more blood leaked from around his eyes and even denser flames struck Shukaku as he shed a layer of sand, immediately setting him ablaze all over again.

"DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU UCHIHA!" His own eyes shut tightly now, Shukaku wildly fired a Drilling Air Bullet, which missed Naruto and Sasuke, but was close enough to knock them both down.

Getting back up, Sasuke shook his head. "Naruto! Thirty seconds are up!"

"Just a little more!" Naruto yelled, as chakra began to flare around him.

Shukaku fired again, and this time Sasuke's Amaterasu met the deadly air blast head on, feeding on it and erupting into a massive black fireball that looked like a giant ball of inky smoke to those watching the battle from afar.

"No, Amaterasu didn't work!" Shisui gasped.

Mikoto froze in fright. "Sasuke you have to look the beast in the eyes…"

Haku clasped his hands together, as though to pray. "Naruto…"

The force of the backlash sent Sasuke and Naruto flying back from Shukaku, the former crashing into a tree as the latter landed and walked backward a few paces before stopping himself.

"OW!" Sasuke yelled before he slid down from the tree and clutched his back. Wiping the blood from his other arm, he looked up at Shukaku as the flames of Amaterasu dissipated in the air, the beast now looming over them, its eyes still shut. "Ah, crap."

It chuckled ominously, as it got up on all four legs, the sand of its body forming a sea of it beneath the tailed beast. "YOU WON'T TRICK ME WITH THOSE EYES!"

He opened his gaping maw wide, and began collecting sand in front of it. "I'LL WIPE YOU ALL OUT HERE AT ONCE!"

Naruto stepped up, as Shukaku's sand began to collect at its mouth again, and he looked to Sasuke. "You okay?"

"Whatever you've got, do it!" Sasuke looked back. Behind them was Konoha, and if whatever that thing was about to do fired, it would hit the village.

Naruto nodded, and broke into a run, straight towards Shukaku, before he disappeared in a body flicker. Shukaku felt something on his nose, and his eyes opened for him to see Naruto standing on his snout, grinning as he pushed his glasses up into place with his middle finger.

"Let's step out for a moment." He said. An instant later, Naruto, the Shukaku, and almost all the sand that had pooled around it were gone.

Sasuke blinked as he performed a double-take. "Wait. What."

The reaction was the same back at the arena, as the spectators to was surely their doom gave a start as the harbinger of said doom vanished without so much as a puff of smoke. Haku gasped. "Where did it go?"

It took Mikoto a few seconds, and blinks of confusion, to grasp entirely what just happened, and she smiled. "…Ah…Naruto used that jutsu."

* * *

Blood dripped to the ground beneath Temari, from the numerous wounds that Tenten had inflicted using her as target practice. Kunai, shurikens, even a few sickles jutted from her body, having been thrown into her with excruciating precision by Tenten, who now lay on the ground in an unconscious heap. Over the out-cold Genin, Jiraiya examined her body, and the cursed seal located on her body, just below her collarbone. Three curved arrows, forming a continuous counterclockwise loop.

"Yes, definitely Orochimaru's work, but why did he mark you, and why did you let him do it?" That would have to be answered after he got the seal properly wrapped up. "You're both lucky I was on my way from beating down those summons that tried to get through the wall, you'd both be dead by now." He said as he stood up and walked over to Temari, who he had freed from the chains.

Temari tried to lift her head to look at the man, but moving her neck agitated her shoulder, which she held with her good hand. "Why are you sparing me?"

Jiraiya just smiled. "I'm not one to harm a pretty woman who's suffered enough. Besides, your little war is about over, it's time to pack it in and start cleaning up."

Temari looked around then, and listened. The cacophony of weapons and the occasional jutsu was no longer present; there was nothing more than a dead calm. "What…? It's over?"

"Yes. It's been over; all that's left is for the Hokage to wrap up the mastermind of your little plot." Jiraiya said as he began to administer first aid to Temari.

Temari narrowed her eyes. "The Hokage's old and over the hill, he won't be able to defeat the Kazekage."

Jiraiya looked at her, surprised. "Wait you didn't know?"

"Know what?"

"The Kazekage's dead, he's been dead for a while now."

Temari looked aghast. "F-Father?"

Sasori was certainly surprised. He'd never seen anyone fight off the One Hundred Puppet Performance successfully before, not only that but destroy many of them in the process. Orochimaru didn't look it, but he was surprised as well, he didn't think that Sarutobi could pull off such a feat. Sarutobi, definitely not showing it, was surprised that an army of low-level Ninja Monkey Summons could be so useful against puppets. Seriously, who knew?

"Well, that was embarrassing." Sarutobi called to Sasori.

Sasori was affronted. "You destroyed my-."

"Shut up." Sarutobi said as Enma scratched his back with a puppet's limb next to him. "I'm running low on blood pills, it's the middle of the afternoon when I should be having a smoke, and Orochimaru is the one who's come to kill me, not you, you little tag-along brat!"

Sasori recoiled. "You destroyed my pup-!"

Sarutobi threw Enma at him. When Enma hit Sasori, the invincible monkey king was the size of a house. "I said shut up."

As Sasori and Enma began to do battle, Orochimaru chuckled. "Your age is showing, Sarutobi. You sound cranky and feeble; it must be so painful to be so old."

"Painful?" Sarutobi chuckled. "For someone afraid to embrace their mortality, you're acting like you know what I'm going through."

Orochimaru and Sarutobi began walking up the side of the roof and to its top, away from Sasori and Enma's battle. "It's easy to see it; it's weathered into your face, your body. You're sixty-nine years old, Sarutobi; you're not the spry young warrior you once were." They reached the top, overlooking Konoha and the smoke and flames that rose in various parts of it. "You know, that even at the peak of your health…you'd be hard-pressed to defeat me, especially in this younger, livelier body."

Sarutobi stared at Orochimaru, and reached into his Hokage's robes. Rather than throw them off to reveal his battle gear, he simply pulled out his pipe, packed it, lit it, and took a puff. "You're right, Orochimaru. I'm old, but you see…I deserve to be."

"Sixty-nine, ah, what a wonderful number." Sarutobi chuckled perversely. "I've lived longer than most shinobi dream of reaching. I even retired from this hat on my head, how many Kage can do that? None, you get your kunai pension or you cling to the hat like some other old bastards almost as good as I am."

In Iwagakure, one such bastard sneezed and threw out his back.

"Do you know what I've done in the majority of my sixty-nine years to get to this point, Orochimaru? The same thing every other ninja does, but I did it better. I've fought and killed ninja that would make you piss your pants in fear–and have, I've gotten higher and drunker than Tsunade could ever claim, and I've plowed the finest kunoichi tail that Jiraiya could only write about striking out against. Hell, I still do!"

Orochimaru didn't seem at all affected by this speech, but Sarutobi continued. "I've lived a long, eventful life, I have no regrets about what I've done and if I were to die tomorrow do you know what? I'll be fine with it, because I'll be surrounded by an entire village that I've watched grow and flourish, and loves and idolizes me damn near unconditionally."

"Oh, but…" Orochimaru's spitefully malevolent retort was cut off.

"BUT…I'm not dying tomorrow, today, or anytime in the near future." Sarutobi turned his back to Orochimaru. "That is because you are an idiot, my foolish pupil."

Orochimaru grew tired of this, and prepared some hand seals. Sarutobi again interrupted him. "You do realize that this barrier is on the roof of a building, yes?"

The Snake Sannin stopped, and his eyes widened. At that moment, there was the sound of wood splintering and ceramic shattering, before four ANBU erupted through the floor underneath the four ninja holding the barrier up, their uppercuts aimed directly between their legs. The four barrier ninja screamed in pain as the barrier fell, and three of them fell off the roof.

"Weasel, your hand!" The cat-masked, purple-haired ANBU cried in horror as "Weasel" stared at his target, which was unable to scream because of…catastrophic trauma to the nether region.

Weasel looked over to Cat. "I missed."

"Kill. Me. You. Asshole." The red-headed female ninja gasped. Weasel just removed his hand and kicked her off the roof.

"Nice." Sarutobi said before turning to face a completely stunned Orochimaru.

"But how, the barrier shouldn't have been able to fall like that." Orochimaru hissed, before he looked at the hands of the ANBU. They wore wooden gauntlets, and he smiled in realization. "Oh, I see…so the First's DNA…"

"Yes." A third ANBU declared, also wearing a Cat mask. "But that's the least of your concerns."

"Agreed." The fourth ANBU, Kabuto behind his eagle mask, spoke. "Weasel, we will protect the Hokage, would you do the honors?"

"Of course." Weasel said as he removed his mask, revealing the face of Itachi Uchiha, his eyes shut. Opening them, he revealed the dazzling horror of the Mangekyo Sharingan to Orochimaru. "Orochimaru-sama…I've heard a rumor that you were responsible for my brother gaining these eyes. Are you too afraid to try taking mine now?"

Sasori managed to escape Enma, the hunchback puppet master looking worse for wear. "I hate monkeys."

Orochimaru smiled to Itachi and chuckled. "Well, well…it seems my original goal was achieved. No bonus, but I'm a patient man, unlike Sarutobi here…I've got a long life ahead of me to wait."

Before he could toss down a smoke bomb or create some other distraction to escape with, Orochimaru was slammed through the roof of the building all the way to the ground floor, by Sarutobi's fist.

"Guh…grkh…" Orochimaru stared up at Sarutobi in disbelief.

"You thought I wasn't going to get you, didn't you? Stupid, stupid student, remember who trained you." Crushing Orochimaru further into the ruined floor, he pulled out a kunai with a seal written on it, and jammed it into Orochimaru's right hand. Pulling out another, he did the same to his left and performed a series of increasingly complex and unusual hand seals before he clapped his hands together. To the Sannin's surprise, the flesh of his arms went dead, turning purple up to the elbows.

"Sarutobi, you…!" Sarutobi stepped on Orochimaru's throat, silencing him.

"I've sealed your arms, so now you can't use the precious little jutsu you've wanted to live a long time to learn." He said to Orochimaru. "You're still my student, and I refuse to kill one when he can learn something from his beating. So here's your lesson for today that you can share with the rest of your little Pain-Boy Fan Club: Do not start a fight with Konoha. You will lose."

He then removed his foot, and stepped back. "Now run, get out of my village and flee like the death-fearing little bitch you are."

Orochimaru stared at Sarutobi, in disbelief. Getting up, he glared at his former master, before Itachi and Kabuto joined the Hokage's side, daring him to try anything. All at once, Orochimaru felt like the fool that Sarutobi had been calling him since this all began, and he bit the inside of his cheek to quell his anger.

"Bye." Itachi chimed in.

Backing away, all the wind punched out of his sails, Orochimaru called to Sasori. "This operation is over, we're leaving this place."

And with that, he was gone.

As Akatsuki retreated, Sarutobi graciously accepted his pipe from the sole kunoichi of the four ANBU ninja and took a pipe. "This is just about wrapped up, where's the Shukaku?"

"Near the edge of the village, but apparently it's vanished into thin-air." Kabuto reported.

Sarutobi chewed on the end of his pipe and hummed. "It must've been that jutsu."

Itachi became wide-eyed. "That jutsu?"

"…What jutsu, you mean the Flying Thunder God technique?" Kabuto asked.

An awkward silence ensued, as the reveal was unrevealed with a lack of drama to it. Sarutobi coughed. "Yes, that Jutsu, the only question that remains is…where did Naruto take the beast?"

* * *

A few days' walk from Konoha, in Wave Country, Inari sat in a small fishing boat with his Grandfather, that bobbed in the calm waters near a small, desolate island, their lines cast over the sides. Little had changed since Team Seven had killed Gato and liberated their country, the prosperity was flowing like wine, and most of the village was still pretty harsh on him for trying to sell everyone out. His Grandfather had forgiven him, understanding that he was just an idiot kid who had lost all hope, but it was still hard to go out without getting dirty looks.

"You know, Inari." Tazuna said. Inari looked over to his Grandfather, who continued. "You're getting to be the minimum age required for a Ninja Academy student, and the Village is still looking to increase its numbers."

Inari looked out towards the island, his stupid hat hiding his eyes from his Grandfather. "Why should I become a Ninja?"

"Well, after the super job those Leaf Ninja did, don't you want to try being like them?" Tazuna put forward.

Inari snorted. "So they killed Gato, they were still a bunch of violent, foul-mouth idiots, and one of them called Mom a whore."

Well that's because she was a whore, but Tazuna wasn't going to break that to his grandson, he needed enough therapy as it was. "I hate them," Inari continued, "What's so amazing about ninja anyway? They're just hired thugs like Gato's."

At that very moment, Shukaku appeared on the empty mangrove island in front of them, thrashing around wildly as Naruto held on for dear life on the Tailed Beast's nose. His tail toppled every tree on the island with a single swipe, as he clawed at his face, gouging away the sand that made it up to get at Naruto.

Thrown from Shukaku, Naruto landed on the island and looked up at the giant critter. As he took a step back, he noticed that the island's was swampy, almost inundated with water. He'd noticed this back when he dropped a formula seal here in case he wanted to quick travel and visit Tazuna and his family again. He complained about it before, but now he was praising the powers that be for this.

"WHERE AM I? WHERE DID YOU TAKE US YOU WRETCHED SHIT?" Shukaku demanded as Naruto jumped back a safe distance from the tailed beast, ending up at the shore of the island in plain sight of Tazuna and Inari.

"It's that brat fighting that super beast!" Tazuna gasped, as Inari just stared in disbelief.

Naruto took a deep breath, he didn't know for sure where all this stamina was coming from, but damn if he wasn't going to use every bit of it for this final blow. "MULTIPLE SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

One immense cloud of smoke, and there were hundred of Naruto clones surrounding Shukaku. Roaring, Shukaku raised two claws and slammed them down, creating numerous clouds of smoke as the others scattered, and began running counter-clockwise around Shukaku as fast as they could. Rearing back, Shukaku observed this all with curiosity…until they all performed the same hand seals and ignited the Chidori, the speed at which the clones ran and the electricity they generated creating a large glowing blue ring around the tailed beast.

"What's he doing to it?" Tazuna asked, before the entire went up, the wet earth conducting the electrical chakra straight into the sand body of Shukaku, who began roaring in pain.

Inari's mouth hung open. "He's beating up that huge monster…"

"AHHHH! YOU BRAT!" Shukaku screamed as the electricity froze him in place. "I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!"

Opening his mouth, he fired an Air Drilling Bullet into the ground, creating a gigantic explosion that kicked up a huge cloud of steam, mud, and falling rock on the island. The clones were destroyed by the blast, as Naruto himself was thrown into the shallow water off the shore.

Sitting up in the water, Naruto looked up at Shukaku, as electricity continued to crackle over its body. Looking down at him, the beast grinned savagely. "THAT'S ALL YOU'VE GOT!"

He raised his claw. "LITTLE BUGS GO SQUISH BETWEEN MY CLAWS!"

Naruto lifted his hands to perform another jutsu…when he noticed that Shukaku had stopped moving. "Huh?"

Shukaku stood there, frozen like a statue, bits of sand falling from the tips of its claws and the end of its mangled teeth. "Oh, now what?"

Without warning, Shukaku began to crumble away, collapsing and disintegrating into a rapidly falling pile of sand that spread out to cover the entire island and the surrounding ocean. Tazuna and Inari had to hold onto their hats and cover their mouths as the wave of sand washed over the surface of the water, and rocked their boat violently. When the sand cleared, and Naruto pulled himself out of it, it revealed Gaara standing in the middle of the island where Shukaku had been.

"I guess ten-thousand pounds of black powder really can't kill a demon container." Naruto was now curious at how much more he had to actually use, but that would have to wait for later as Gaara walked over to him, some extra sand reforming the iconic gourd on his back. "…Ah…"

"I…owe you an apology." Gaara said quietly.

Naruto blinked. "Huh? What?"

Gaara walked past Naruto, and looked out at the muddy waters that surrounded the mangrove island. "I was wrong."

"Wrong, you mean about the whole killing people to prove your existence and you loving yourself thing? Well of course you were." Naruto quipped.

Gaara nodded. "When you attacked me, I almost died. I saw my life flash before my eyes, and I experienced a memory from the moment I was born."

"What, really?" Wow, he and Sasuke must've hit Gaara harder than they thought.

"I saw my mother." Gaara said. "The first thing she ever said to me was how feeble and small I was, but then she said that she'd always protect me."

He brushed his fingers over the gourd on his back. "Someone once told me, that this sand wasn't the demon inside me, but my mother's will…the sign of her love protecting me. That person later betrayed me, and said that my mother hated me, and died cursing my name. But…"

He closed his eyes. "…She loved me."

Naruto nodded and smirked. "My parents died when I was a baby, but the old man, the Hokage always told me that they loved me with all their heart, and they died to protect me."

Gaara nodded. "You as well? Then your Hokage is a better man than my Father is."

Was, he was probably dead by now if he went head to head with Sarutobi, Gold Dust power or not. That reminded him. "Oh man, I gotta get back there! The war's still going on."

"Go ahead, you helped me. I have no quarrel with you." Gaara said.

Naruto smiled. "Then let's get back now!"

Resting a hand on Gaara's shoulder, he held out a hand and performed a one-handed seal. In the next instant, they were standing behind Hinata, their sudden appearance causing Shikamaru, Lee, and Sakura to jump. Hinata jumped as well, because Naruto's hand was now resting on her backside.

"W-what is he doing here?" Shikamaru yelled as he pointed at Gaara, as Sakura and Lee assumed fighting stances. Hinata removed her mask and looked back.

"Oh, me and Sasuke beat him, and snapped him out of being all murderous and stuff!" Naruto patted Gaara on the shoulder. "We hit him so hard that he had a life-changing revelation!"

Sakura went sparkly eyed. "You can hit someone that hard?"

"We're still in the middle of a war!" Shikamaru pointed out.

"No we're not." Kakashi said as he, Asuma, Gai, and Team Eight's Jonin Instructor, the hauntingly beautiful Kurenai Yuuhi appeared. "The war's over, ANBU and the Military Police are securing the village."

Lee grinned. "We won! This is most excellent!"

"Shannaro! Konoha uber alles!" Sakura cheered as she hugged Shikamaru happily.

"What about the Hokage? Is he okay?" Naruto asked.

Kakashi hummed. "Konoha hospital, he was in rough shape, but the Doctors say he'll be fine."

"Full of piss and vinegar as usual." Kurenai lamented.

Asuma chuckled. "I'm telling him you said that next time we break up."

Kakashi looked over to Gaara. "Will you come peacefully?" Gaara nodded, and Kakashi was pleased. "Good, then we can wrap this up."

* * *

It was evening in Konoha, the cicadas and evening birds were singing, when Kankuro woke up screaming in a bed in the Konoha hospital and trying to shake the bugs that weren't there off him. Temari was sitting in a chair in front of the bed, her arm in a sling and covered in bandages, rolling her eyes at Kankuro's panic. Gaara was standing next to the bed, providing an even more traumatic experience to Kankuro, who fell out of the bed with another girlish squeal.

"What happened, where am I? Gaara! Temari!" He hauled himself up onto the bed, panting.

"Stop panicking, we're in Konoha Hospital. The battle ended." Temari said.

Kankuro stared at her, and then looked around. "Did…did we win?"

"No. Our village's army was annihilated, Sound's army was annihilated." Temari said. "Dad's dead."

Kankuro blinked. "The Kazekage's dead?"

Temari nodded. "Akatsuki killed him and turned him into a puppet. It's what we get for letting Sasori near him."

"Oh." Kankuro sat back on the bed, and then looked around. "Was there anyone else?"

"We were decimated. So there aren't many." Gaara spoke.

Kankuro's face fell. "Oh…well…"

"We lucked out, because of our connection to the Kazekage." Temari explained.

"Being his son paid off for once." Gaara stated.

Something about Gaara had changed, and Kankuro could see it plain as day. "What happened to Gaara?"

"That orange-wearing idiot punched him so-hard he had a life-changing revelation." Temari replied.

"…Can you really hit someone that hard?"

"Apparently." Temari rubbed her cheek with her free hand. "Most of the Jonin were killed, and with the Kazekage dead we're the highest ranked Ninja who survived. So, we'll be handling the surrender procedures."

Kankuro groaned. "Well, at least it can't get worse than this"

The door opened, and Hiruzen Sarutobi stepped in, looking no worse for wear and carrying a scroll in his hand. With him was Itachi, his ANBU uniform eschewed for more informal, all black bodyguard apparel. "Hello, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro. I'm sorry this is such short notice, but in light of the conflict and the circumstances I've wanted to come and reassure you that this sudden surprise hostility from Sunagakure will not change relations between our villages."

Temari was stunned. "It won't?"

Kankuro sighed in relief, while Gaara seemed to show no reaction. Sarutobi nodded. "But of course, in fact all treaties and agreements that existed officially before the exact start of the attack will continue to be upheld and respected, so that we can keep a pristine political picture."

"You're too kind, Hokage." Temari graciously said. This meant that they and the remaining survivors might get a chance to leave and return to Sunagakure so they could try to rebuild and forget this black day.

"In fact." Sarutobi beamed as he spoke. "We have one such treaty signed just before the attack began, a wager of sorts regarding Naruto vs. Gaara."

Itachi took the scroll from Sarutobi, and walked over to Temari. He unrolled the scroll, and presented to Temari the terms of the wager, and what Konoha stood to gain from it in their victory. Temari stared at it quietly, for a full five minutes, and then took a deep breath.

"Hey, did you hear that?" Naruto asked Sakura as the two and Sai sat at Ichiraku Ramen, slurping up noodles as though their village hadn't been a battlefield just hours before.

"The enraged scream of a kunoichi whose world has just crumbled around her?" Sai asked.

"No, that wasn't it." Naruto mumbled over a mouthful of noodles.

Ayame called from the back of the ramen stand. "Sorry, I dropped a pot."

"Oh." Sai rubbed the inside of his ear. He must've been hearing things.

"Man, this sucks, because of the war none of us technically passed the exams! We're going to have to wait another six months to become Chunin." Sakura complained.

"It could be worse; some of us could be dead or something." Naruto complained.

Sai nodded. "I'll do better, next time."

Naruto was surprised, no poisonous remark from Sai? Still, this presented a great opportunity. "Yeah, next time we'll pass together, all of us!"

Smiling, Sakura leaned against Naruto. "Shannaro! We're going to ace the next exam just like we did this one!"

"Maybe next time, you'll get to rape someone." Sai chirped.

Sakura kicked Sai off his stool, and Naruto sighed in relief. All was right in the world.

* * *

A/N: Haha, the Chunin Exam/Invasion of Konoha Arc is OVER. Next up, the Occupy Movement moves in to Sunagakure!


End file.
